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She felt very small。 An ague seemed to have settled in her
bones； rattling them even as she sought to calm herself。 Her
breath seemed to have gone pletely； repeated gasps only
worsened her need for air。 Finally she bowed her head and
clutched at her head； pressing against her temples。
〃By me gods。。。'* she whispered； 〃what have I done？〃 She
drew in a deep bream。 〃I have left my croft。。。 I have been
Xeat from Homana…Mujhar。。。 I have ridden into a strange
fealm with a man I cannot understand； and he has forsaken me as
easily as Shame。〃 Alix clenched her fists as if to drive demons
from her skull。 〃1 have given myaelf to him。。。 and now he
seeks another！〃 She lifted her head and stared blindly at the
tapestry。 〃What have I done？〃
The tapestry did not answer her； nor did Cai。 Alix longed for
his warm tone and reassurance； but the hawk remained silent。
She became aware of other whispers in her mind。 They formed
patterns and tones like the ones she had heard before the forest
battle； but did not oppress her as much。
〃I am gone mad；〃 she whispered。
The whispers and tones continued； rising and falling as any
ordinary conversation。 She began to separate the sounds； frown…
ing in concentration as she tried to understand the implications。
Alix dragged fingers through her hair as if to untangle me
threads of the patterns and realized how tangled her hair was。
She took the silver b Duncan had given her from her bodice
and began to drag it through me snarls； hoping the pain would
rid her of what she could not understand。
When her hair was smooth again she braided it into a single
plait； tying me end with a strip of velvet torn from her gown。 Its
splendor was ruined； the silken overtunic was in shreds and me
hem ragged and stained。 But she cared not at all for me vanished
elegance of her clothing； she wanted only to win back Duncan's
regard。
When he came it was silently； without the warmth she was
accustomed to。 His face was drawn as he settled the doorflap
behind。
〃You must e with me。〃
〃Where？〃
〃ToRaissa。〃
〃Who is Raissa？〃 she asked； knowing it was not truly the
answer she sought。
〃She is the woman who will keep you until you go before me
shar tahl。 and Council。〃
〃Can I not stay with you？〃 she asked softly； hands folded in
her lap。
Duncan knelt and shifted the wood resting in the small pavil…
ion fire cairn。 He took up a flint and fired the kindling。
〃No；〃 he said at last。 〃You would do better to stay elsewhere。〃
Alix bit at her lip to fight back tears。 〃Then what Finn said is
true。。。 there is another woman you would have。〃
His hand snapped a stout branch。 After a moment he tossed
the pieces on the fire； settling on his knees to face her through
die rising smoke。
〃When I came for you in Homana…MnJhar。 Malina was cheysula
to another man。 I had put her from my mind。 I thought only of
you。〃
She swallowed painfully。 〃But now you can no longer put her
from your mind。〃
He moved to her； still kneeling； and took her face in his
browned hands。 〃I will not give you up。〃
Alix stared at him； holding back the trembling in her bones。
〃Then what do you say； Duncan？〃
〃Our tahinwrra is one； Alix。 I feel it； even if you do not。 1
will not give you up。〃 He sighed； brow creased。 〃Malina will
be my cheysula； as I promised her when we were children； but
you hold a place in my soul。 Mei jhas have honors and rights
within the clan。。。 there is no disgrace among file Cheysuli。 I
will keep you by me。〃
Alix peached up and grasped his wrists firmly。 Then she jerked
his hands away。 〃What did you promise me！ What did you say
to me in the cave； when I offered to conceive your child so we
would never be separated； even by your Council？〃
〃Alix〃
〃I will be no man's light woman； Duncan。。。 not even
yours。 It is a thing 1 cannot consider Ч。。 perhaps it is my tainted
Homanan upbringing！〃 She glared at him。 〃Do you think what I
did is so easy for an untried gyri？〃
… Alix〃
〃No。〃
His hand reached for her but she avoided it； sitting back on
her heels。 After a moment he let his hand drop back to his thigh。
〃What would you do； were you free to do it？〃 he asked。
She scowled at him； understanding what me delicate question
asked。 He was perfectly capable of denying her the right to leave
the clan； she expected it。 But she would try it nonetheless。
X'I will go back to Carillon。〃
Duncan stared at her。 His face was a mask but he could not
quite hide me cold anger in his yellow beast…eyes。
〃To be light woman to a prince。〃
X'No。 For his help。〃 Alix picked at a tear in her skin； avoid…
ing his eyes。 〃He would help me in whatever I asked。〃
〃You cannot leave； small one。〃 be said gently。 〃I understand
your feelings； but I cannot allow you to go。〃
Her hand clenched in the soft velvet 〃And your reason；
clan…leader？〃
Duncan's face softened。 〃You might have conceived。〃
Realization flooded her。 Angrily she pressed a fist against her
stomach。 〃If I have conceived by you； I will name me child
fatherless and raise it myself！〃
Duncan went white； bolting to his feet like a wounded man。
He caught her arm cruelly and dragged her to her feet； ignoring
her cry of pain。
〃If you have conceived by me； it is mine！〃
She gritted her teeth and hissed at him。 〃And do you not
already have an unborn child； shapechanger？ In the belly of the
woman you will take as cheysula1。〃
〃If it is mine I will keep it by me； just as I will ifwa bear me
a child。〃
She paled beneath the pain of his hand on her arm。 〃You
cannot take a child from its mother！〃
〃Here you live among the CheysuU；〃 he said grimly。 〃You
will abide by our customs。 If you will not have me then you win
not； but if you have conceived the child is mine。。。 and a link
in the prophecy。〃
Alix spoke through me pain… 〃And will you force me to do
what my mother did。。。 run away？ And bear my child in
i。 solitude？〃
He drew her near。 Alix stiffened rigidly as his arms went
around her。 It was no gentle lover's kiss。 He was forcing her； as
Finn had once； and she hated it。 Warring emotions filled her soul
and she struck out in bitterness； but her fist was trapped between
Ins chest and her own。 Slowly； against her will； it crept up to
grasp his hair and pull turn closer。 Whatever power he had to
inflict pain on her also inflicted something deeper； and instinct…
ively she recognized her need of him。
〃Cheysula。〃 he whispered against her lips。
Alix Jerked free of him。 〃I am no？！ You have said you will
choose another。。。 and I will not be your light woman！〃
His mourn was pressed into a thin line。 〃Then you will be
cheysula to no man。〃
She lifted her head。 〃I will not。〃
〃Nor mei jha。〃
〃Nor met。/no。〃
His eyes glittered strangely。 〃Do you hold with your Cheysuli
blood； Alix？ Do you follow our customs？〃
〃I have little choice！〃
〃Do you accept them？〃
〃Aye！〃 she cried bitterly。
A muscle twitched in his jaw。 〃Then you must accept all
customs as your own。〃
She glared back at him defiant