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Again； that bitter smile。 〃You may have noticed that last one when I first got to the ship on Meima。 I'd just taken a dose； but I'd pushed the timing a little and it hadn't kicked in yet。〃
I nodded； remembering how much calmer； even friendly； he'd been a few hours later during Chort's ill…fated spacewalk。 〃Remind me never to go into a spaceport taverno with you before your pill；〃 I said。 〃You'd get both our necks broken within the first three minutes。〃
He shivered。 〃Sometimes I think that would be a better way to go；〃 he said quietly。 〃Anyway； if I still don't get a dose； I get louder and more irrational and sometimes even violent。〃
〃Is that still a mixture of withdrawal and disease？〃
〃That one's mostly withdrawal；〃 he said。 〃After that； the disease takes over and we start edging into neural damage。 First the reversible kind； later the nonreversible。 Eventually； I die。 From all reports； not especially pleasantly。〃
Offhand； I couldn't think of many pleasant ways to die； except possibly in your sleep of old age； which given my early choices in life wasn't an option I was likely to face。 If Shawn persisted in pulling stunts like sneaking onto interdicted worlds； it wasn't likely to remain one of his options； either。
Still； there was no sense in letting the old man with the scythe get at any of us too easily。 〃How long before the neural damage starts？〃 I asked。
He gave another of his abbreviated shrugs。 〃We've got a little time yet；〃 he said。 〃Nine or ten hours at least。 Maybe twelve。〃
〃From right now？〃
〃Yes。〃 He smiled。 〃Of course； you probably won't want to be anywhere around me well before that。 I'm not going to be very good pany。〃 The smile faded。 〃We can get to a supplier before then； can't we？ I thought I heard Tera say it was only about six hours away to wherever the hell we're headed。〃
〃Mintarius；〃 I said； making a show of consulting my watch。 In reality； I was thinking hard。 I'd originally picked Mintarius precisely because it was close； small； quiet； and unlikely to have the equipment to distinguish our latest ship's ID from a genuine one。 A perfect place to slip in； get the fuel our unexpectedly quick exit from Dorscind's World had lost us； and slip out again。
Unfortunately； Mintarius's backwater status also meant that illegal drug suppliers would be few and far between。 And those who were there were likely to concentrate on the lowest mon denominators like happyjam； not the more esoteric； semimedicinal ones。
I thought about that； and about the increasingly serious Patth search for us； and about the fact that Shawn's decision to go to Ephis had been a voluntary signing of his own death certificate anyway。 But no matter how I sorted them out in the balance； there really wasn't any choice。
〃It's actually a little farther than that；〃 I told Shawn； getting to my feet。 〃Don't worry； though； we should make it in plenty of time。 Assuming things go as planned…〃
I broke off suddenly； turning my head and stretching out with all my ears。 Barely heard over my own voice had been a faint dull metallic thud。 The same unexplained sound； as near as I could tell； that I'd heard in the wraparound just after we'd left Xathru。
〃What？〃 Shawn demanded； making no attempt to keep his voice down。 〃What's the problem？〃
〃I thought I heard something；〃 I told him； suppressing the exceptionally impolite word I wanted to say。 There might have been a follow…up sound； or even a lingering echo that could have given me a chance of figuring out its approximate direction。 But both those chances were gone now； buried under Shawn's inopportune and overly loudmouthed question。
〃What； you mean that thunking sound？〃 he scoffed。 〃It's nothing。 You hear it every once in a while。〃
I frowned； my annoyance with his bad timing vanishing into sudden new interest。 〃You've heard it before？〃
〃Sure；〃 he said； some of that old Shawn arrogance creeping into his tone。 〃Couple of times just while I've been lying here today。 You want my opinion； it's probably something in the flush equipment in the head。〃
〃Could be；〃 I said nonmittally。 He could have whatever opinion he wanted； but I'd been flying for half my life and there was absolutely nothing in a ship's plumbing that could make that kind of noise。 〃You said Tera went back to her cabin？〃
〃All I said was that Everett relieved her；〃 he corrected me； his tone suddenly testy。 〃She could have gone outside for a walk for all I know。〃 He waved a hand impatiently around the strap。 〃Look； what does any of this have to do with my medicine？ Nothing； that's what。 You are going to be able to get it； right？〃
〃I'll do what I can；〃 I said； reaching down and swinging the swivel stool back into storage again。 Clearly； the obnoxious stage of Shawn's withdrawal was starting； and I'd already had as much of that as I needed for one trip。 〃I'll see you later。 Try to get some rest。〃
〃Yeah；〃 he muttered as I made my way to the door。 〃Sure…easy for you to say。 What a bunch of…〃
The sliding door cut off the noun。 Just as well。 I started to turn toward the bridge； but as I did so I caught the soft sound and faint vibration of a heavy footstep from behind me。 I turned to see Ixil e into the corridor from the wraparound； a toolbox in his hand。 〃Trouble？〃 he murmured。
〃No more than usual around here；〃 I told him； not wanting to get into Shawn's problems just now。 〃I thought I might as well go and relieve Everett on the bridge。〃
Pix and Pax twitched at that； Ixil no doubt wondering what our medic was doing on bridge watch when Tera was supposed to be holding the fort there。 But he clearly wasn't any more interested in holding serious conversations in open corridors than I was； and merely nodded。 〃We found the problem with the modulator relay；〃 he said； continuing on down the corridor toward me。 〃All fixed。〃
〃Good；〃 I said； lifting my eyebrows and nodding fractionally behind me and to my right； toward the door to the mechanics shop。 He nodded back； just as fractionally。 Now； when everyone seemed to have taken themselves elsewhere； would be an excellent time for him to see what kind of cutting equipment Cameron had left us。
We went the rest of the way forward together in silence； Ixil breaking off to the left to the mechanics…room door aft of the bridge； me continuing the rest of the way past the forward access ladder to the bridge door。 I tapped the release pad； and the door slid open。
For a moment I just stood there； staring in disbelief at the sight before me。 Everett； his bulk nearly filling the small space between the mand console and nav table； was half…turned to face me； his arms and right leg lifted in what looked like a grotesque parody of some kind of ballet step。
For a moment we stared at each other； and behind those blue eyes I watched his self…conscious embarrassment change almost reluctantly to a sort of stubborn pride。 Then； very deliberately； he looked away and lowered his right foot back to the deck； his hands and arms tracing out a plicated design in the air as he did so。 Just as deliberately； he moved his left foot around behind his right； his hands shifting again through the air。
And suddenly； belatedly； I realized what he was doing。 Not ballet； not