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〃You will take care of her；〃 I said sternly to both of them。 〃Yes； we mean to remain together；〃 said Avicus。 〃And I don't understand why you can't remain with us。〃
As I looked at Avicus； an awful love welled up in me； and I said softly； 〃I know I have done you wrong in all this。 I have been too harsh； but I can't remain。〃
Avicus gave way to tears now； with no regard for the disapproving looks of Mael。
〃You had only begun to teach me so much；〃 he said。 〃You can learn it from the world around you；〃 I answered。 〃You can learn from the books in this house。 You can learn from 。 。 。 you can learn from those you might some night transform with the Blood。〃 He nodded。 What more was there to say。
It seemed the moment for me to turn and go； but I could not。 I walked into the other room； and I stood there； my head bowed； feeling perhaps the worst pain I had ever known。
I wanted desperately to remain with them！ There was no doubt of it。 And all my plans gave me no strength just now。 I put my hand to my waist and I felt of the pain inside me as if it were fire。 I couldn't speak。 I couldn't move。
Zenobia came to me。 And so did Avicus。 They put their arms around me； and then Avicus said；
〃I understand that you must go。 I do。 I understand。〃 I couldn't answer him。 I bit down hard on my tongue to make the blood flow and； turning； I put my lips over his and let the blood pass into his mouth。 He shivered with this kiss； and his grip tightened on me。
Then I brought the blood up in my mouth again and I kissed Zenobia in the same manner and she held me fast。 I picked up her long light perfumed hair； and buried my face in it； or rather brought it as a veil over my face and I could scarce breathe for the pain I felt。
〃I love you both；〃 I whispered。 I wondered if they could hear。
Then with no more words； and no more gestures； I bowed my head and found my way； somehow； out of the house。
An hour later； I was outside Constantinople； on the well…traveled route to Italy； seated at the front of the first of the wagons where I might talk with the head of my guard who held the reins。
I was playing the mortal game of conversation and laughter； when my heart was broken； and I played it for many nights to e。
I don't remember how long we traveled； only that there were numerous towns in which we might stop； and the roads were nothing as bad as I had feared。 I kept a close eye on my bodyguards and gave out the gold generously to buy loyalty and on we went。
After I reached the Alps it took me some time to find the very secluded spot where I would build the shrine。
But finally one evening when the winter was not so cold and the sky very clear； I did spy above me a steep series of unpopulated slopes； just off the main road； that looked more than perfect for my plan。
Taking my caravan into the nearest town； I came back alone。 I climbed over rough terrain which would have defeated any mortal； and found the very spot； a tiny valley above which I could build the shrine。
Going back to the town； I purchased a dwelling for myself； and for Those Who Must Be Kept； and then I sent my bodyguards； with my slaves； back to Constantinople； with great rewards for all they'd done。
There were many warm farewells from my confused but amiable mortal panions； and very cheerfully they set out with one of the wagons which I gave them to make their way back home。
As the town where I was lodged was not safe from invasions； no matter how contented its Lombard inhabitants； I set about my work the following night。
Only a blood drinker could have covered the distance with such speed that separated my town dwelling from the final location of the shrine。 Only a blood drinker could have dug through hard…packed earth and rock to create the passages that led eventually to the square room of the vault； and then made the ironbound stone door which would separate the King and the Queen from the light of day。
Only a blood drinker could have painted the walls with the old Greco…Roman gods and goddesses。 Only a blood drinker could have made the throne of granite with such skill and in such time。
Only a blood drinker could have carried the Mother and Father one by one up the mountain and into the finished resting place。 Only a blood drinker could have set them side by side on their granite throne。
And when it was finished； who else would have lain down in the coldness to weep again out of some habitual loneliness？ Who else could have lain for some two weeks in quietude and exhaustion； refusing to move？
It was no wonder that in those first few months I tried to prompt some vitality from Those Who Must Be Kept by bringing to them sacrifices； like unto Eudoxia； but for these poor wretched mortals…Evil Doers； I quite assure you…Akasha refused to move her all…powerful right arm。 And so I must finish with these miserable victims and carry their remains high into the mountains where I flung them on jagged peaks as so many offerings to cruel gods。
In the following centuries； I did hunt the nearby towns most carefully； drinking a little from many so as never to rouse a local population； and sometimes I did travel a great distance to discover how things were in the cities I'd once known。
I visited Pavia； Marseilles； and Lyons。 There I visited the taverns as had always been my custom； daring to draw mortals into conversation； plying them with wine to tell me all that went on in the world。 Now and then I explored the very battlefields where the Islamic warriors achieved their victories。 Or followed the Franks into battle； easily using the darkness as my shield。 And during this period…for the first time in my immortal existence…I made close mortal friends。
That is； I would choose a mortal； a soldier for instance； and meet with him often in his local tavern to talk about his view of the world； about his life。 Never were these friendships very long or very deep； for I wouldn't allow them to be so； and if ever the temptation came over me to make a blood drinker； I would swiftly move on。
But I came to know many mortals in this way； even monks in their monasteries； for I had no shyness about accosting them on the road； especially when they passed through dangerous territory； and acpanying them for some time while asking them polite questions about how it went with the Pope and the church and even the small munities in which they lived。
There are stories I could tell of these mortals； for sometimes I couldn't guard my heart so very well。 But there is no time now for that。 Let me only confess that I made the friendships； and when I look back on it； I pray to some god who might be willing to answer me； that I gave as good a consolation from this as I received。
When I was most courageous of heart； I went down into Italy as far as Ravenna to see the marvelous churches which possessed the same magnificent mosaics as I had seen in Constantinople。 But never did I dare to go further into my native land。 I was too afraid to see the destruction of all that had once been there。
As for the news of the world which I learnt from those I befriended； in the main it broke my heart。