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And then an old taunt came back to me； a taunt as old as prayers themselves。
〃Who will tend your shrine if I am not restored？〃 I demanded。 I trembled in my misery。 〃Beloved Akasha；〃 I whispered。 〃Who will worship you if I am destroyed？ Help me； guide me； for some night in these passing centuries you may have need of me！ Who has cared for you for so long！〃
But what good is it ever to taunt the gods and the goddesses？
I sent out the Mind Gift with all its strength to the snowy Alps in which I had built and concealed the chapel。
〃My Queen； tell me how I may e to you？ Could something as dreadful as this draw you from your solitude； or do I ask too much？ I dream of miracles but I cannot imagine them。 I pray for mercy； yet I cannot envision how it would e about。〃
I knew it was vain； if not blasphemy； to beg her to rise from her throne for me。 But was she so powerful that she could give some miraculous strength over the miles？
〃How will I return to you？〃 I prayed。 〃How will I ever fulfill again my duties if I am not healed？〃
The silence of the golden room answered。 It was as cold as the shrine in the mountains。 I imagined I could feel the snow of the Alps on my burnt flesh。
But slowly the horror sunk in。
I think I gave a soft； sad little laugh。
〃I can't reach you；〃 I said； 〃not without assistance； and how can I obtain that assistance unless I forsake the secret of what I am？ Unless I forsake the secret of the Chapel of Those Who Must Be Kept？〃
At last I climbed to my knees and struggled up the stone stairs very slowly； and painfully； I managed to stand； and with the Mind Gift； fasten the bronze door。
Safety； that was important； very important。 I must survive this； I thought。 I must not despair。
Then collapsing again and crawling down the stairs to the golden chamber； in the manner of something loathsome and lurid； I pushed doggedly against the lid of my coffin until it was open sufficiently for me to go to my rest。
Never had I known such injury； never had I known such pain。
A monstrous humiliation was mingled with the torture。 Oh； there was so much I had not known about existence； so much I had not understood about life。
Soon the cries of the boys were gone from my ears； no matter how keenly I listened。 The boat had carried them over the waters。
But I could still hear Bianca。
Bianca wept。
In misery and pain； my mind searched Venice。
〃Raymond Gallant； member of the Talamasca；〃 I whispered； 〃I need you now。 Raymond Gallant； pray you haven't left Venice。 Raymond
Gallant of the Talamasca； please hear my prayers。〃
I could find no trace of him； but who knew what had happened to my powers？ Perhaps all had dwindled。 I could not even remember clearly his room or where it had been。
But why did I hope to find him？ Had I not told him to leave the Veneto？ Had I not impressed upon him that he must leave？ Of course he had done as I had told him to do。 No doubt he was miles beyond the point where he might hear my call。
Nevertheless I continued to say his name over and over as if it were a prayer。
〃Raymond Gallant of the Talamasca； I need you。 I need you now。〃
Finally； the approaching dawn brought a frigid relief to me。 The roaring pain subsided slowly and my dreams began as they will do if I sleep before the rise of the sun。
In my dreams； I saw Bianca。 She had her servants about her； and they forted her； and she said：
〃They are dead； both of them； I know it。 They have died in the fire。〃
''No； my sweet one；〃 I said。 With all the power of the Mind Gift I called to her：
Bianca； Amadeo is gone； but I live。 Do not fear me when you set eyes upon me； for I am badly burnt。 But I live。
In the eyes of the others； I saw a mirror of her as she stopped and turned away from them。 I saw her rise from her chair and move towards the window。 I saw her open it and peer out into the dampness at the approaching light。
Tonight； when the sun sets； I will call to you。 Bianca。 I am a monster now in my own eyes and will be a monster in yours。 But I will endure this suffering。 I will call to you。 Don't be afraid。
〃Marius；〃 she said。 The mortals who gathered around her heard her speak my name。
But the sleep of the morning had e over me。 I couldn't resist it。 The pain was at last gone。
25
WHEN I AWOKE the pain was excruciating。 I lay for an hour or more without moving。 I listened to the voices of Venice。 I listened to the movement of the waters beneath my house and all around it； and through the canals and into the sea。
I listened for Santino's miscreants； in quiet dignified terror that they might yet be abroad in search of me。 But they were gone pletely； at least for now。
I tried to lift the marble lid of the sarcophagus and I couldn't do it。 Once again； with the Mind Gift I pushed against it； and then； with the aid of my feeble hands I was able to push it aside。
Most strange and wondrous； I thought； that the power of the mind was greater than the power of the hands。
Slowly； I managed to rise from this cold and handsome grave which I had fashioned for myself； and I did at last； after great effort； sit on the cold marble floor； seeing the glint of the golden walls through a bit of light that seeped into the chamber around the edges of the upper door。
I felt a terrible agony and weariness。 A sense of shame overcame me。 I had imagined myself invulnerable； and oh； how I had been humbled； how I had been dashed against the stones of my own pride。
The taunts of the Satan worshipers came back to me。 I remembered Amadeo's cries。
Where was he now； my beauteous pupil？ I listened but I heard nothing。
I called to Raymond Gallant once more； though I knew it was in vain。 I pictured him traveling overland to England。 I called his name aloud so that it resounded off the walls of the golden chamber； but I could not find him。 I knew that I would not find him。 I did it only to be certain that he was far beyond my reach。
And then I thought of my precious and fair Bianca。 I sought to see her as I had last night； through the minds of those around her。 I sent the Mind Gift wandering to her fashionable rooms。
Into my ears there came the sound of playful music； and at once I saw her many regular guests。 They drank and talked as though my house had not been destroyed； or rather as if they knew nothing of it； and I had never been one of them； on they went as the living do； after a mortal is taken away。
But where was Bianca？
〃Show me her face；〃 I whispered； directing the mysterious Mind Gift by the sheer simplicity of my voice。
No picture came to me。
I shut my own eyes； which gave me exquisite pain； and I listened； hearing the hum of the entire city； and then begging； begging of the Mind Gift that it give me her voice； her thoughts。
Nothing； and then at last I hit upon it。 Wherever she was； she was alone。 She was waiting for me； and there were none around her to look upon her； or talk to her； and so I must find her in her silence or solitude； and at last I sent out my call to her。
Bianca； I am living。 I am mons