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I spotted four tables pushed together near the fireplace； at which were seated the Doc； Sam Thayer； and a whole bunch of apparent strangers in assorted odd costumes。 Best of all； Callahan was standing nearby … it seemed like a great place to start。 I steered Finn in that direction； collecting a couple of chairs on the way and signalling Callahan to join us。 When he saw Finn his face lit with pleasure； and he nodded。
As we sat down； one of the unfamiliar gents； dressed as a shepherd； was just finishing a plaintive rendition of 〃I Know I'll Never Find Another Ewe；〃 and was applauded by a chorus of groans and cat…calls。
〃Better take it on the lamb； Tony；〃 Doc Webster suggested。
〃Where there's a wool； Thayer's away；〃 agreed Sam； rising as if to leave。 One of the boys removed his chair with a thoughtful expression； and he sat back down rather farther than he had intended。 Callahan lumbered up and appropriated the chair； the head of his bear…costume under his arm； and Sam promptly sat on Bill Gerrity's lap。 This is funnier than it sounds； because Bill is a transvestite and was done up as Marilyn Monroe that particular night （while Callahan's is certainly not the only bar where Bill can indulge his peculiarity； it's the only one where he doesn't have to put up with the annoyance of being propositioned regularly … and Bill is not gay）。 As Sam was dressed as Mortimer Snerd； the effect was spectacular； and those around the room not otherwise occupied cheered and whistled。 One of the gorillas in the corner looked up from his cards and scowled。
I glanced around the table； taking inventory： a fireman； a five…foot…seven duck； two bug…eyed monsters （one purple and tentacled； one green and furry） and one Conan the Barbarian。 〃Hey Mike；〃 I called to Callahan； 〃introduce me and Finn around and we'll swap stories。〃 Callahan nodded and opened his mouth； but the Doc put a beer in front of it。 〃I bear beer； bear；〃 he announced； and another groan arose。
〃Okay；〃 I said。 〃I'll start the ball rollin' myself。 Howdy folks； I'm Jake。 This here's Mickey Finn。〃 Various hellos came from the group； and a pretzel landed in my drink。
〃I've heard of you； Mr。 Finn； said the shepherd； grinning。 〃They say you're hell to drink with。〃
Obviously the shepherd hadn't heard about this Mickey Finn； and I glanced at Finn to see how he'd take it。 I needn't have worried … apparently he had been hanging around Callahan's Place long enough。
〃You'll make me feel sheepish； sir；〃 he said with a straight face； 〃if you take my name too litter…ally。 Very baa…adly indeed； for I would feign have fun with a fine Finn fan。〃
Callahan and I guffawed； and Doc Webster's jaw dropped。 〃Lord God；〃 the Doc expostulated； 〃I'm going to hang up my puns； I swear。〃
〃A hypocritic oath；〃 said the duck； and the Doc heaved a bag of beer nuts at him。 〃Duck； duck； the Doc；〃 Callahan and I crowed together； and the table broke up。
〃Look Jake；〃 said the shepherd when the motion had died down； 〃what you said about swapping stories sounds good to me。 As we introduce ourselves； let's explain what brought us here to Callahan's。 I know some of you boys must have stories I'd like to hear … nobody seems to e here without a reason。 What do you say？〃
We all looked around。 〃Suits。〃 〃Okay by me。〃 〃Why not？〃 There was no apparent reluctance … Callahan's is the place you went to first because you needed to talk about your troubles … and the first time is always the hardest。 〃Fine；〃 said the shepherd。 〃I guess I ought to start。〃 He took a glass； filled it up and wetted his whistle。 He was about my age； with odd streaks of white hair on either temple that bined with his classical shepherd's garb made him look like a young Homer。 His features were handsome and his build excellent； but I noted with surprise that his left earlobe was missing。 There was a scar on his right shoulder； nearly hidden by a deep tan； that looked like it had been put there with a crosscut saw。。。
〃My name is Tony Telasco；〃 he said when he had swallowed。 〃I give lectures and slide shows and make speeches； and sometimes I go to jail； but I used to do a lot of things before I came to Callahan's。 I was a transcendental meditator for awhile； staring at my navel。 Before that I was a junkie； and before that I was a drunk and before that I was a killer。 That was right after I was a kid。
〃See； the thing I really am is a Viet Nam veteran。〃
There were low whistles and exclamations all around。
I was in my first year of college （Tony went on） when I got that magic piece of paper from my draft board。 Business Ad majors just weren't getting deferments； and so I had the classic three choices： go to jail； Canada； or Viet Nam。
Which wasn't a lot of choice。 Make no mistake； I was scared spitless of Viet Nam … I watched television。 But I was scared and ashamed to go to jail； and scared and inpetent to emigrate。 To be brought into a strange country to fight would be tough； but to move into one myself and make a living with no skills and no degree looked impossible to me。
So Nam seemed to be the lesser of three evils。 I never made a moral decision about the war； never questioned whether going there was the right thing to do。 It was the easiest。 Oh； I knew a few guys who went to Canada； but I never really understood them … I liked America。 And I knew one fellow in my English class who went to jail for refusing to step forward … but his third day there they found him on the end of his bedsheet； a few inches off the floor； his cellmate apparently asleep。
And so I found myself in the Army。 Basic was tough； but tolerable； I'd always liked physical exercise； and I was in pretty good shape to start with。 It was a lot rougher on my mind。
The best friend I made in Basic was a guy named Steve McConnell； from California。 Steve was a good joe； the kind of guy really good to have with you in a rugged situation like Basic。 He had a knack for pointing out the idiocies of military life； and a huge capacity for enjoying them。 King of a dry sense of humor … he didn't laugh out loud； in fact he hardly ever laughed aloud； but he was perpetually amused by things that drove me crazy。 Like me； he'd sort of drifted into the Army； but the more he thought about the idea； the less he liked it。 Neither did I； but I didn't see anything I could do about it。 We spent hours peeling potatoes together； discussing war and women and the Army and women and the munist Menace in Southeast Asia and women and our D。I。 Steve was an independent thinker … he didn't hang out with the other blacks in our outfit； who had cliqued up in selfprotection。 That can be tough for a black man in the U。S。 Army； but Steve cut his own path； and chose his brothers by other criteria than the shade they were painted。 I don't know why he and I were so tight … I don't know what his criteria were … but somehow we were so close I got the idea I really knew him； understood where he was at。
I was as surprised as anyone when he finally made his stand。
There es a day； see； when they line you up on a god…awful cold February morning and truck up a couple of coffin…sized cartons。 The D。I。's are clearly more pretentious than usual； p