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nked him and continued； clinically； dispassionately。） Spud Montgomery recalls the three children that resulted from Rachel's whoring years； because Spud's from Alabama and never stopped fighting the Civil War and that's what they died in。 Tommy Janssen remembers her last child； the imbecile； who never did learn to feed himself and took thirty…five long years to die； because Tommy grew up with a retarded sister。 Doc Webster's strongest memory is of the final birthing； her first in a hospital； the still…born … after which the OB performed the hysterectomy。 Doc identified strongly with the astonishment of a doctor faced with a patient in her late twenties whose uterus had delivered eighteen kids。 Callahan characteristically recalls the man she was married to at the time； the first man since her psychotic minister to whom she felt she could tell the truth； with whom she did not have to cosmetically 〃age〃 herself； with whom she could share her lonely； terrible secret； the gentle and strangely understanding man who cured her of her self…loathing and self…fear and accepted her for what she inexplicably was； the good and loving man who had been killed； mugged for the dollar and a half in his pocket； a month or two before Rachel found Callahan's Place。
But not one of us retains anything like the plete text of Rachel's story。 We wouldn't want to if we could； for condensing it into a prehensibility would turn it into a soap opera。 And； probably； we couldn't if we tried。 If somebody gave me a guaranteed accurate rundown of my own future in that kind of depth； I don't think I'd remember much more。 It was one king hell mountain of a tale； and it displaced its own weight in alcohol as the hours of its telling dragged by。
Me； I'm thirty…five years old； and I have been there and back again； and when Rachel finished her virtually uninterrupted narration I felt like a five…year…old whose greatgrandmother has just recited the Story of Her Life in horrific detail。
In the dead silence that grew from Rachel's last words there just didn't seem to be anything to say to her； no words in all my experience that wouldn't sound banal … like telling a leper that it's always darkest before the dawn。 Not that there had been agony in her voice at any time during her recital； nor any on her face when she finished。 That was the most ghastly thing about her tale； it was delivered with the impersonal detachment of an historian； recited like the biography of one long dead。 You Are There At The Battle of Lake Champlain。
Oh； there was pain aplenty in her story； sure … but so buried； under two centuries of scars； that it could only be inferred。 And yet the pain had been there earlier； had broken through to the surface for a moment at least； when Rachel had cried。 How？ Why？
I became peripherally aware of the men of Callahan's Place； arrayed around me with their mouths open。 Even Callahan looked pole … axed … and that almost scared me。 I glanced around； looking for even one face that held some kind of answer； some kind of consolation； some word for Rachel。
And found one。 Fast Eddie's mouth was trembling； but there were words in it struggling to get out。 He couldn't seem to bring himself to speak； but he looked like he sure and hell wanted to。
Callahan saw it too。 〃You look like you got something to say； Eddie；〃 he said gently。
Eddie seemed to reach a decision all at once。 Whirling to face Callahan； he jammed his hands in his hip pockets and snarled … snarled！ … 〃 Who ast you？ I got nuttin' to say。〃
Callahan started； and if I'd had any capacity for shock left I'd have been shocked。 Eddie barking at Callahan？ It was like watching Lassie sink her fangs into Tommy's leg。
〃Eddie； 〃 Doc Webster began reasonably； 〃if you have any words that might help Rachel here I think you ought to。〃
〃SHADDAP！〃 Eddie blared。 〃I tell ya I got nuttin' to say； see？〃
The silence returned； and stayed a while。 We could only surmise that Rachel's tale of sorrow had unhinged the banty little piano player。 Creeping Jesus； it had near unhinged me … and I wasn't in love with her。 The central issue； then； was still Rachel。 Well。。。 if Eddie had nothing to say； who did？
Who else？
〃So all you have left is immortality； eh Rachel？〃 Callahan rumbled。 〃Tough break。〃
That did seem to put a little perspective on it。 Surely Rachel's run of bad luck was due to change soon。 It was only logical。 〃Sure； Rachel；〃 I said； beginning to cheer up。 〃You're bound to start getting the breaks anytime now。〃
But it was no good。 There was a smile on her face； but not a happy one。
〃It figures；〃 Long…Drink said hurriedly。 〃You can have a run of bad cards that seems to last forever； but sooner or later you pick up your hand and find four aces。 It's just the Law of Averages； Rachel。 Things always even out in the end。〃
〃Sorry boys；〃 Rachel said； still smiling sadly。 〃Nice try。 I understand what you're saying … but there are a couple of holes in the logic。 Two incorrect assumptions； one of them your mistake and one of them mine。〃
〃What mistakes？〃 Callahan asked； his rugged face wrinkled in thought。
〃Your mistake first； Mike。 It's a natural one； I suppose； but it's a mistake just the same。 What makes you think I'm immortal？〃
〃Eh？〃
〃I'm older than any four of you put together； yes。 But longevity is not immortality。 Mike； nothing is immortal： ask Dorian Gray。 My clock runs as slow as his did … but it runs。〃
〃But you。。。〃
〃。。。 look a lot younger than 232 years old；〃 she finished。 〃Right。 I look like I'm maybe crowding thirty。 But Mike： what's my natural lifespan？〃
He started to answer； than shut up； looking thoughtful。 Who the hell knew？
〃Someday I will die；〃 Rachel went on； 〃just like you； like Tom Flannery。 Like all humans； like all living things。 I know that； I feel it in my bones。 And there isn't a geriatrics expert in the world who can say when。 There is no data to work with； as far as I know I am unique。〃
〃I reckon you're right；〃 Callahan conceded； 〃but so what？ Anyone in this room could die tomorrow … we're all under sentence of death； like you said。 But to stay sane a body just has to live as though they'll go on forever； assume there's a lot of years left。 Hellfire； Tom Flannery lived that way； and he knew better。 Maybe there ain't no way to figure the odds for you … but if I was an insurance salesman； I'd love to have your business。 Jake and Long…Drink are right： there's good times around the corner； always； and I bet you live to see 'em。
〃I may not be as old as you； Rachel； but there's one thing I've learned in the time I have been around： joy always equals pain in the long run。〃
She shook her head impatiently and sighed。 〃The second mistake； Mike。 The one that's my fault； in a way。 You see； the most spectacular points of the story I've told you all tonight are the bad times； and so it must seem like I've just always been a hard…luck kid。 But that's not so at all。 I've known happiness too； in full measure； with Jacob and Isaiah and even with Benjamin； and most of all with my second and most beloved Jacob。 There were good times in Nantucket if it es to that； and throughout the whoring years；