按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
The animal staggered to its feet。 It gave a mellow gurgle。
〃A very wise choice； sir； if I may say so。 Very good；〃 it said； 〃I'll just nip off and shoot myself。〃
He turned and gave a friendly wink to Arthur。
〃Don't worry； sir；〃 he said； 〃I'll be very humane。〃
It waddled unhurriedly off into the kitchen。
A matter of minutes later the waiter arrived with four huge steaming steaks。 Zaphod and Ford wolfed straight into them without a second's hesitation。 Trillian paused； then shrugged and started into hers。
Arthur stared at his feeling slightly ill。
〃Hey； Earthman；〃 said Zaphod with a malicious grin on the face that wasn't stuffing itself； 〃what's eating you？〃
And the band played on。
All around the Restaurant people and things relaxed and chatted。 The air was filled with talk of this and that； and with the mingled scents of exotic plants； extravagant foods and insidious wines。 For an infinite number of miles in every direction the universal cataclysm was gathering to a stupefying climax。 Glancing at his watch； Max returned to the stage with a flourish。
〃And now； ladies and gentlemen；〃 he beamed； 〃is everyone having one last wonderful time？〃
〃Yes；〃 called out the sort of people who call out 〃yes〃 when edians ask them if they're having a wonderful time。
〃That's wonderful；〃 enthused Max； 〃absolutely wonderful。 And as the photon storms gather in swirling crowds around us； preparing to tear apart the last of the red hot suns； I know you're all going to settle back and enjoy with me what I know we will find all an immensely exciting and terminal experience。〃
He paused。 He caught the audience with a glittering eye。
〃Believe me； ladies and gentlemen；〃 he said； 〃there's nothing penultimate about this one。〃
He paused again。 Tonight his timing was immaculate。 Time after time he had done this show； night after night。 Not that the word night had any meaning here at the extremity of time。 All there was was the endless repetition of the final moment； as the Restaurant rocked slowly forward over the brink of time's furthest edge … and back again。 This 〃night〃 was good though； the audience was writhing in the palm of his sickly hand。 His voice dropped。 They had to strain to hear him。
〃This；〃 he said； 〃really is the absolute end； the final chilling desolation； in which the whole majestic sweep of creation bees extinct。 This； ladies and gentlemen； is the proverbial 'it'。〃
He dropped his voice still lower。 In the stillness； a fly would not have dared cleat its throat。
〃After this；〃 he said； 〃there is nothing。 Void。 Emptiness。 Oblivion。 Absolute nothing。。。〃
His eyes glittered again … or did they twinkle？〃
〃Nothing。。。 except of course for the sweet trolley； and a fine selection of Aldebaran liqueurs！〃
The band gave him a musical sting。 He wished they wouldn't； he didn't need it； not an artist of his calibre。 He could play the audience like his own musical instrument。 They were laughing with relief。 He followed on。
〃And for once；〃 he cried cheerily； 〃you don't need to worry about having a hangover in the morning … because there won't be any more mornings！〃
He beamed at his happy； laughing audience。 He glanced up at the sky； going through the same dead routine every night； but his glance was only for a fraction of a second。 He trusted it to do its job； as one professional trusts another。
〃And now；〃 he said； strutting about the stage； 〃at the risk of putting a damper on the wonderful sense of doom and futility here this evening； I would like to wele a few parties。〃
He pulled a card from his pocket。
〃Do we have。。。〃 he put up a hand to hold back the cheers； 〃Do we have a party here from the Zansellquasure Flamarion Bridge Club from beyond the Vortvoid of Qvarne？ Are they here？〃
A rousing cheer came from the back； but he pretended not to hear。 He peered around trying to find them。
〃Are they here？〃 he asked again； to elicit a louder cheer。
He got it； as he always did。
〃Ah； there they are。 Well； last bids lads … and no cheating； remember this is a very solemn moment。〃
He lapped up the laughter。
〃And do we also have； do we have。。。 a party of minor deities from the Halls of Asgard？〃
Away to his right came a rumble of thunder。 Lightning arced across the stage。 A small group of hairy men with helmets sat looking very pleased with themselves； and raised their glasses to him。
Hasbeens； he thought to himself。
〃Careful with that hammer； sir；〃 he said。
They did their trick with the lightning again。 Max gave them a very thin lipped smile。
〃And thirdly；〃 he said； 〃thirdly a party of Young Conservatives from Sirius B； are they here？〃
A party of smartly dressed young dogs stopped throwing rolls at each other and started throwing rolls at the stage。 They yapped and barked unintelligibly。
〃Yes；〃 said Max； 〃well this is all your fault； you realize that？〃
〃And finally；〃 said Max； quieting the audience down and putting on his solemn face； 〃finally I believe we have with us here tonight； a party of believers； very devout believers； from the Church of the Second ing of the Great Prophet Zarquon。〃
There were about twenty of them； sitting right out on the edge of the floor； ascetically dressed； sipping mineral water nervously； and staying apart from the festivities。 They blinked resentfully as the spotlight was turned on them。
〃There they are；〃 said Max； 〃sitting there； patiently。 He said he'd e again； and he's kept you waiting a long time； so let's hope he's hurrying fellas； because he's only got eight minutes left！〃
The party of Zarquon's followers sat rigid； refusing to be buffeted by the waves of uncharitable laughter which swept over them。
Max restrained his audience。
〃No； but seriously though folks； seriously though； no offence meant。 No； I know we shouldn't make fun of deeply held beliefs； so I think a big hand please for the Great Prophet Zarquon。。。〃
The audience clapped respectfully。
〃。。。 wherever he's got to！〃
He blew a kiss to the stony…faced party and returned to the centre of the stage。
He grabbed a tall stool and sat on it。
〃It's marvellous though；〃 he rattled on； 〃to see so many of you here tonight … no isn't it though？ Yes； absolutely marvellous。 Because I know that so many of you e here time and time again； which I think is really wonderful； to e and watch this final end of everything； and then return home to your own eras。。。 and raise families； strive for new and better societies； fight terrible wars for what you know to be right。。。 it really gives one hope for the future of all lifekind。 Except of course；〃 he waved at the blitzing turmoil above and around them； 〃that we know it hasn't got one。。。〃
Arthur turned to Ford … he hadn't quite got this place worked out in his mind。
〃Look； surely；〃 he said； 〃if the Universe is about to end。。。 don't we go with it？〃
Ford gave him a three…Pan…Galactic…Gargle…Blaster look； in other words a rather unsteady one。
〃No；〃 he said； 〃look；〃 he said； 〃as soon as you e into this dive you get held in this sort of amazing force…shielded temporal warp thing。 I think。〃
〃