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of them） and lit one。 She coughed out smoke in three harsh bursts。
It was another stone against his heart。 Two years ago； his mother had given up smoking entirely。 Jack had waited for her to backslide with that queer fatalism which is the flip side of childish credulity and innocence。 His mother had always smoked； she would soon smoke again。 But she had not 。 。 。 not until three months ago； in New York。 Carltons。 Walking around the living room in the apartment on Central Park West； puffing like a choo…choo； or squatting in front of the record cabinet； pawing through her old rock records or her dead husband's old jazz records。
'You smoking again； Mom？' he'd asked her。
'Yeah； I'm smoking cabbage leaves；' she'd said。
'I wish you wouldn't。'
'Why don't you turn on the TV？' she'd responded with uncharacteristic sharpness； turning toward him； her lips pressed tightly together。 'Maybe you can find Jimmy Swaggart or Reverend Ike。 Get down there in the hallelujah corner with the amen sisters。'
'Sorry；' he'd muttered。
Well…it was only Carltons。 Cabbage leaves。 But here were the Herbert Tarrytoons…the blue…and…white old…fashioned pack； the mouthpieces that looked like filters but which weren't。 He could remember； vaguely； his father telling somebody that he smoked Winstons and his wife smoked Black Lungers。
'See anything weird； Jack？' she asked him now； her over…bright eyes fixed on him； the cigarette held in its old； slightly eccentric position between the second and third fingers of the right hand。 Daring him to say something。 Daring him to say； 'Mom； I notice you're smoking Herbert Tarrytoons again…does this mean you figure you don't have anything left to lose？'
'No；' he said。 That miserable； bewildered homesickness swept him again； and he felt like weeping。 'Except this place。 It's a little weird。'
She looked around and grinned。 Two other waiters； one fat； one thin； both in red jackets with golden lobsters on the back； stood by the swing doors to the kitchen； talking quietly。 A velvet rope hung across the entrance to a huge dining room beyond the alcove where Jack and his mother sat。 Chairs were overturned in ziggurat shapes on the tables in this dark cave。 At the far end； a huge window…wall looked out on a gothic shorescape that made Jack think of Death's Darling； a movie his mother had been in。 She had played a young woman with a lot of money who married a dark and handsome stranger against her parents' wishes。 The dark and handsome stranger took her to a big house by the ocean and tried to drive her crazy。 Death's Darling had been more or less typical of Lily Cavanaugh's career…she had starred in a lot of black…and…white films in which handsome but forgettable actors drove around in Ford convertibles with their hats on。
The sign hanging from the velvet rope barring the entrance to this dark cavern was ludicrously understated： THIS SECTION CLOSED。
'It is a little grim； isn't it？' she said。
'It's like the Twilight Zone；' he replied； and she barked her harsh； infectious； somehow lovely laugh。
'Yeah； Jacky； Jacky； Jacky；' she said； and leaned over to ruffle his too…long hair； smiling。
He pushed her hand away； also smiling （but oh； her fingers felt like bones； didn't they？ She's almost dead； Jack 。 。 。 ）。 'Don't touch…a da moichendise。'
'Off my case。'
'Pretty hip for an old bag。'
'Oh boy； try to get movie money out of me this week。'
'Yeah。'
They smiled at each other； and Jack could not ever remember a need to cry so badly； or remember loving her so much。 There was a kind of desperate toughness about her now 。 。 。 going back to the Black Lungers was part of that。
Their drinks came。 She tipped her glass toward his。 'Us。'
'Okay。'
They drank。 The waiter came with menus。
'Did I pull his string a little hard before； Jacky？'
'Maybe a little；' he said。
She thought about it； then shrugged it away。 'What are you having？'
'Sole； I guess。'
'Make it two。'
So he ordered for both of them； feeling clumsy and embarrassed but knowing it was what she wanted…and he could see in her eyes when the waiter left that he hadn't done too bad a job。 A lot of that was Uncle Tommy's doing。 After a trip to Hardee's Uncle Tommy had said： 'I think there's hope for you； Jack； if we can just cure this revolting obsession with processed yellow cheese。'
The food came。 He wolfed his sole； which was hot and lemony and good。 Lily only toyed with hers； ate a few green beans； and then pushed things around on her plate。
'School started up here two weeks ago；' Jack announced halfway through the meal。 Seeing the big yellow buses with ARCADIA DISTRICT SCHOOLS written on the sides had made him feel guilty…under the circumstances he thought that was probably absurd； but there it was。 He was playing hooky。
She looked at him； enquiring。 She had ordered and finished a second drink； now the waiter brought a third。
Jack shrugged。 'Just thought I'd mention it。'
'Do you want to go？'
'Huh？ No！ Not here！'
'Good；' she said。 'Because I don't have your goddam vaccination papers。 They won't let you in school without a pedigree； chum。'
'Don't call me chum；' Jack said； but Lily didn't crack a smile at the old joke。
Boy； why ain't you in school？
He blinked as if the voice had spoken aloud instead of only in his mind。
'Something？' she asked。
'No。 Well 。 。 。 there's a guy at the amusement park。 Funworld。 Janitor； caretaker； something like that。 An old black guy。 He asked me why I wasn't in school。'
She leaned forward； no humor in her now； almost frighteningly grim。 'What did you tell him？'
Jack shrugged。 'I said I was getting over mono。 You remember that time Richard had it？ The doctor told Uncle Morgan Richard had to stay out of school for six weeks； but he could walk around outside and everything。' Jack smiled a little。 'I thought he was lucky。'
Lily relaxed a little。 'I don't like you talking to strangers； Jack。'
'Mom； he's just a…'
'I don't care who he is。 I don't want you talking to strangers。'
Jack thought of the black man； his hair gray steel wool； his dark face deeply lined； his odd； light…colored eyes。 He had been pushing a broom in the big arcade on the pier…the arcade was the only part of Arcadia Funworld that stayed open the year around； but it had been deserted then except for Jack and the black man and two old men far in the back。 The two were playing Skee…Ball in apathetic silence。
But now； sitting here in this slightly creepy restaurant with his mother； it wasn't the black man who asked the question； it was himself。
Why aren't I in school？
It be just like she say； son。 Got no vaccination； got no pedigree。 You think she e down here with your birth certificate？ That what you think？ She on the run； son； and you on the run with her。 You…
'Have you heard from Richard？' she broke in； and when she said it； it came to him…no； that was too gentle。 It crashed into him。 His hands twitched and his glass fell off the table。 It shattered on the floor。
She's almost dead； Jack。
The voice from the swirling sand…funnel。 The one h