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own voice。
I hear 。 。 。 and I love you； too。
Geoffrey closed the door and went up to the afterdeck。 Instead of throwing himself over the rail； as he might have done； he lit his pipe and smoked a bowl of tobacco slowly； watching the sun go down behind that distant； disappearing cloud on horizon … that cloud which was the coast of Africa。
And then； because he could not stand to do otherwise； Paul Sheldon rolled the last page out of the typewriter and scrawled the most loved and hated phrase in the writer's vocabulary with a pen：
THE END
40
His swollen right hand had not wanted to fill in the missing letters； but he had forced it through the work nonetheless。 If he wasn't able to work at least some of the stiffness out of it； he was not going to be able to carry through with this。
When it was done； he put the pen aside。 He regarded his work for a moment。 He felt as he always did when he finished a book … queerly empty； let down； aware that for each little success he had paid a toll of absurdity。
It was always the same； always the same … like toiling uphill through jungle and breaking out to a clearing at the top after months of hell only to discover nothing more rewarding than a view of a freeway … with a few gas stations and bowling alleys thrown in for good behavior； or something。
Still； it was good to be done … always good to be done。 Good to have produced； to have caused a thing to be。 In a numb sort of way he understood and appreciated the bravery of the act； of making little lives that weren't； creating the appearance of motion and the illusion of warmth。 He understood … now； finally … that he was a bit of a dullard at doing this trick； but it was the only one he knew； and if he always ended up doing it ineptly； he at least never failed to do it with love。 He touched the pile of manuscript and smiled a little bit。
His hand left the big pile of paper and stole to the single Marlboro she had put on the windowsill for him。 Beside it was a ceramic ashtray with a paddlewheel excursion boat printed on the bottom encircled by the words； SOUVENIR OF HANNIBAL； MISSOURI … HOME OF AMERICA'S STORY TELLER！
In the ashtray was a book of matches； but there was only one match in it … all she had allowed him。 One； however； should be enough。
He could hear her moving around upstairs。 That was good。 He would have plenty of time to make his few little preparations； plenty of warning if she decided to e down before he was quite ready for her。
Here es the real trick； Annie。 Lees see if I can do it。 Let's see … can I？
He bent over； ignoring the pain in his legs； and began to work the loose section of baseboard out with his fingers。
41
He called for her five minutes later； and listened to her heavy； somehow toneless tread on the stairs。 He had expected to feel terrified when things got to this point； and was relieved to find he felt quite calm。 The room was filled with the reek of lighter fluid。 It dripped steadily from one side of the board which lay across the arms of the wheelchair。
〃Paul； are you really done？ she called down the length of hallway。
Paul looked at the pile of paper sitting on the board beside the hateful Royal typewriter。 Lighter fluid soaked the stack。 〃Well；〃 he called back； 〃I did the best I could； Annie。〃
〃Wow！ Oh； great！ Gee； I can hardly believe it！ After all this time！ Just a minute！ I'll get the champagne！〃
〃Fine！〃 He heard her cross the kitchen linoleum； knowing where each squeak was going to e the instant before it did e。 I am hearing all these sounds for the last time； he thought； and that brought a sense of wonder； and wonder broke the calm open like an egg。 The fear was inside 。 。 。 but there was something else in there as well。 He supposed it was the receding coast of Africa。
The refrigerator door was opened； then banged shut。 Here she came across the kitchen again； here she came。
He had not smoked the cigarette； of course； it still lay on the windowsill。 It had been the match he wanted。 That one single match。
What if it doesn't light when you strike it？
But it was far too late for such considerations。
He reached over to the ashtray and picked up the matchbook。 He tore out the single match。 She was ing down the hallway now。 Paul struck the match and； sure enough； it didn't light。
Easy！ Easy does it！
He struck it again。 Nothing。
Easy 。 。 。 easy 。 。 。
He scratched it along the rough dark…brown strip on the back of the book a third time and a pale…yellow flame bloomed at the end of the paper stick。
42
〃I just hope this … 〃 She stopped； the next word pulled back inside her she sucked in breath。 Paul sat in his wheelchair behind a barricade of heaped paper and ancient Royal stenomongery。 He had purposely turned the top sheet around so she could read this：
MISERY'S RETURN
By Paul Sheldon
Above this sopping pile of paper Paul's swollen right hand hovered； and held between the thumb and first finger was a single burning match。
She stood in the doorway； holding a bottle of champagne wrapped in a strip of towelling。 Her mouth dropped open。 She closed it with a snap。
〃Paul？〃 Cautiously。 〃What are you doing？〃
〃It's done；〃 he said。 〃And it's good； Annie。 You were right。 The best of the Misery books； and maybe the best thing I ever wrote； mongrel dog or not。 Now I'm going to do a little trick with it。It's a good trick。 I learned it from you。〃
〃Paul； no！〃 she screamed。 Her voice was full of agony and understanding。 Her hands flew out； the bottle of champagne dropping from them unheeded。 It hit the floor and exploded like a torpedo。 Curds of foam flew everywhere。 〃No！ No！ PLEASE DON'T … 〃
〃Too bad you'll never read it；〃 Paul said； and smiled at her。 It was his first real smile in months； radiant and genuine。 〃False modesty aside； I've got to say it was better than good。 It was great； Annie。〃 The match was guttering； printing its small heat on the tips of his fingers。 He dropped it。 For one terrible moment he thought it had gone out； and then pale…blue fire uncoiled across the title page with an audible sound … foomp！ It ran down the sides； tasted the fluid that had pooled along the outer edge of the paper…pile； and shot up yellow。
〃OH GOD NO！〃 Annie shrieked。 〃NOT MISERY！ NOT MISERY！ NOT HER！ NO！ NO！〃 Now her face had begun to shimmer on the far side of the flames。 〃Want to make a wish； Annie？〃 he shouted at her。 〃Want to make a wish； you fucking goblin？〃
〃OH MY GOD OH PAUL WHAT ARE YOU DOOOOOING？〃 She stumbled forward； arms outstretched。 Now the pile of paper was not just burning； it was blazing。 The gray side of the Royal had begun to turn black。 Lighter fluid had pooled under it and now pale…blue tongues of flame shot up between the keys。 Paul could feel his face baking； the skin tightening。
〃NOT MISERY！〃 she wailed。 〃YOU CAN'T BURN MISERY； YOU COCKADOODIE BRAT； YOU CAN'T BURN MISERY！〃 And then she did exactly what he had almost known she would do。 She seized the burning pile of paper and wheeled about； meaning to run to the bathroom with it； perhaps； and douse it in the tub。
When she turned Paul seized the Royal； unmindful of the blisters its hot right side