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oped it did。 Just 。 。 。 no pain； please。 No memories； no pain； no horror； no Annie Wilkes。
He dived for the cloud； dived into the cloud； dimly hearing the sounds of his own shrieks and smelling his own cooked meat。
As his thoughts faded； he thought： Goddess！ Kill you！ Goddess！ Kill you！ Goddess！
Then there was nothing but nothing。
Part III
Paul
It's no good。 I've been trying to sleep for the last half…hour； and I can't。 Writing here is a sort of drug。 It's the only thing I look forward to。 This afternoon I read what I wrote 。 。 。 And it seemed vivid。 I know it seems vivid because my imagination fills in all the bits another person wouldn't understand。 I mean； it's vanity。 But it seems a sort of magic 。 。 。 And I just can't live in this present。 I would go mad if I did。
… John Fowles
The Collector
I
CHAPTER 32
〃Oh blessed Jesus；〃 Ia moa ed； a d made a co vulsive moveme t forward。 Geoffrey grasped his frie d's arm。 The steady beat of the drums pulsed i his head like somethi g heard i a killi g delirium。 Bees dro ed arou d them； but o e paused； they simply flew past a d i to the cleari g as if draw by a mag et … which； Geoffrey hough sickly； hey
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Paul picked up the typewriter and shook it。 After a tune； a small piece of steel fell out onto the board across the arms of the wheelchair。 He picked it up and looked at it。
It was the letter t。 The typewriter had just thrown its t。
He thought： I am going to plain to the management。 I am going to not just ask for a new typewriter but fucking demand one。 She's got the money … I know she does。 Maybe it's squirrelled away in fruit…jars under the barn or maybe it's stuffed in the walls at her Laughing Place； but she's got the dough； and t； my God； the second…most…mon letter in the English language … ！
Of course he would ask Annie for nothing； much less demand。 Once there had been a man who would at least have asked。 A man who had been in a great deal more pain； a man who had had nothing to hold onto； not even this shitty book。 That man would have asked。 Hurt or not； that man had had the guts to at least try to stand up to Annie Wilkes。
He had been that man； and he supposed he ought to be ashamed； but that man had had two big advantages over this one： that man had had two feet 。 。 。 and two thumbs。
Paul sat reflectively for a moment； re…read the last line （mentally filling in the omissions）； and then simply went back to work。
Better that way。
Better not to ask。
Better not to provoke。
Outside his window； bees buzzed。
It was the first day of summer。
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had been。
〃Let me go！〃 Ian snarled； and turned on Geoffrey； his right hand curling into a fist。 His eyes bulged madly from his livid face； and he seemed totally unaware of who was holding him back from his darling。 Geoffrey realized with cold certainty that what they had seen when Hezekiah pulled the protective screen of bushes aside had e very close to driving Ian mad。 He still tottered on the brink； and the slightest push would send him over。 If that happened he would take Misery with him。
〃Ian … 〃
〃Let me go； I say！〃 Ian pulled backward with furious strength； and Hezekiah moaned fearfully。 〃No boss； make dem bees crazy； dem sting Mis'wee … 〃 Ian seemed not to hear。 Eyes wild and blank； he lashed out at Geoffrey； striking his old friend high on the cheekbone。 Black stars rocketed through Geoffrey's head。
In spite of them； he saw Hezekiah beginning to swing the potentially deadly gosha … a sand…filled bag the Bourkas favored for close work … in time to hiss： 〃No！ Let me handle this！〃 Reluctantly； Hezekiah allowed the gosha to subside to the end of its leather string like a slowing pendulum。
Then Geoffrey's head was rocked back by a fresh blow。 This one mashed his lips back against his teeth； and he felt the warm salt…sweet taste of blood begin to seep into his mouth。 There was a rough purring sound as Ian's dress shirt； now sun…faded and already torn in a dozen places； began to e apart in Geoffrey's grasp。 In another moment he would be free。 Geoffrey realized with dazed wonder that it was the same shirt Ian had worn to the Baron and Baroness's dinner party three nights ago 。 。 。 of course it was。 There had been no opportunity to change since then； not for Ian； not for any of them。 Only three nights ago 。 。 。 but the shirt looked as if Ian had been wearing it for at least three years； and Geoffrey felt as if at least three hundred had passed since the party。 Only three nights ago； he thought again with stupid wonder； and then Ian was raining blows into his face。
〃Let me go； damn you！〃 Ian drove his bloody fist into Geoffrey's face again and again … his friend for whom； in his right〃 mind； he would have died。
〃Do you want to demonstrate your love for her by killing her？〃 Geoffrey asked quietly。 〃If you want to do that； then by all means； old boy； knock me senseless。〃 Ian's fist hesitated。 Something at least approximating sense came back into his terrified； maddened gaze。
〃I must go to her；〃 he murmured like a man in a dream。 〃I'm sorry I hit you； Geoffrey … truly sorry； my dear old man； and I'm sure you know it … but I must 。 。 。 You see her 。 。 。 〃 He looked again； as if to confirm the dreadfulness of the sight； and again made as if to rush to where Misery had been tied to a post in a jungle clearing； her arms over her head。 Glimmering on her wrists and fastening her to the lowest branch of the eucalyptus； which was the only tree in the clearing； was something the Bourkas had apparently taken a fancy to before sending Baron Heidzig into the mouth of the idol and to his undoubtedly terrible death： the Baron's blued steel handcuffs。
This time it was Hezekiah who grabbed Ian； but the bushes rustled again and Geoffrey looked into the clearing； his breath momentarily catching in his throat； as a bit of fabric may catch on a thorn … he felt like a man who must walk up a rocky hill with a load of decayed and dangerously volatile explosives in his arms。 One sting； he thought。 Just one and it's all over for her 〃No； boss mussun〃；〃 Hezekiah was saying with a kind of terrified patience。 〃It like d'utha boss be sayin〃 。 。 。 if you go out dere； de bees wake up from dey dream。 And if de bees wake； it doan matter for her if she be dine of one sting or one…de…one t'ousan〃 sting。 If de bees wake up from dey dream we all die； but she die firs〃 and de mos〃 horrible。〃 Little by little Ian relaxed between the two men； one of them black； the other white。 His head turned toward the clearing with dreadful reluctance； as if he did not wish to look and yet could not forbear to。
〃Then what are we to do？ What are we ft do for my poor darling？〃 I don't know came to Geoffrey's lips； and in his own state of terrible distress； he was barely able to bite them back。 Not for the first time it occurred to him that Ian's possession of the woman Geoffrey loved just as dearly （if secretly） allowed Ian to indulge in an odd sort of selfishness and an almost womanly hysteria that Geoffrey himself must forgo； after all； to the rest of the world he was only Misery's friend。
Yes； just her friend； he thought with half…hysteric