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sk.misery-第26章

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 like a cork in a wine…bottle; unable to go either way … He gave one final heave; the muscles in his arms quivering like overtuned violin strings; and the wheelchair passed through with that same low squealing noise。
 The Cherokee turned into the driveway。
 She'll have packages; his mind gibbered; the typewriter paper; maybe a few other things as well; and she'll be careful ing up the walk because of the ice; you're in here now; the worst is over; there's time; still time 。 。 。
 He rolled farther into the room; then turned in a clumsy semicircle。 As he rolled the wheelchair parallel to the open bedroom door; he heard the Cherokee's engine shut off。
 He leaned over; grasped the doorknob; and tried to pull the door shut。 The tongue of the lock; still stuck out like a stiff steel finger; bumped the jamb。 He pushed it with the ball of his thumb。 It began to move 。 。 。 then stopped。 Stopped dead; refusing to let the door close。
 He stared at it stupidly for a moment; thinking of that old Navy maxim: Whatever CAN go wrong WILL go wrong。
 Please God; no more; wasn't it enough she killed the phone?
 He let go of the tongue。 It sprang all the way out again。 He pushed it in again and encountered the same obstruction。 Inside the guts of the lock he heard an odd rattling and understood。 It was the part of the bobby…pin which had broken off。 It had fallen in some way that was keeping the lock's tongue from retracting pletely。
 He heard the Cherokee's door open。 He even heard her grunt as she got out。 He heard the rattle of paper bags as she gathered up her parcels。
 〃e on;〃 he whispered; and began to chivvy the tongue gently back and forth。 It went in perhaps a sixteenth of an inch each time and then stopped。 He could hear the goddam bobby…pin rattling inside there。 〃e on 。 。 。 e on 。 。 。 e on 。 。 。 〃 He was crying again and unaware of it; sweat and tears mingling freely on his cheeks; he was vaguely aware that he was still in great pain despite all the dope he had swallowed; that he was going to pay a high price for this little piece of work。
 Not so high as the one she'll make you pay if you can't get this goddam door closed again; Paulie。
 He heard her crunching; cautious footsteps as she made her way up the path。 The rattle of bags 。 。 。 and now the rattle of her housekeys as she took them from her purse。
 〃e on 。 。 。 e on 。 。 。 e on 。 。 。 〃 This time when he pushed the tongue there was a flat click from inside the lock and the jut of metal slid a quarter of an inch into the door。 Not enough to clear the jamb 。 。 。 but almost。
 〃Please 。 。 。 e on 。 。 。 〃 He began to chivvy the tongue faster; diddling it; listening as she opened the kitchen door。 Then; like a hideous flashback to that day when his mother had caught him smoking; Annie called cheerily: 〃Paul? It's me! I've got your paper!〃 Caught! I'm caught! Please God; no God; don't let her hurt me God … His thumb pressed convulsively tight against the tongue of the lock; and there was a muffled snap as the bobby…pin broke。 The tongue slid all the way into the door。 In the kitchen he heard a zipper…rasp as she opened her parka。
 He closed the bedroom door。 The click of the latch (did she hear that? must have must have heard that!) sounded as loud as a track…starter's gun。
 He backed the wheelchair up toward the window。 He was still backing and filling as her footsteps began to e down the hallway。
 〃I've got your paper; Paul! Are you awake?〃 Never 。 。 。 never in time 。 。 。 She'll hear 。 。 。
 He gave the guide…lever a final wrench and rolled the wheelchair into place beside the window just as her key rattled in the lock。
 It won't work 。 。 。 the bobby…pin 。 。 。 and she'll be suspicious 。 。 。
 But the piece of alien metal must have fallen all the way to the bottom of the lock; because her key worked perfectly。 He sat in his chair; eyes half…closed; hoping madly that he had gotten the chair back where it had been (or at least close enough to it so she wouldn't notice); hoping that she would take his sweat…drenched face and quivering body simply as reactions to missing his medication; hoping most of all that he hadn't left a track … It was as the door swung open that he looked; down and saw that by looking for individual tracks with such agonized concentration; he had ignored a whole buffalo run: the boxes of Novril were still in his lap。
 
 
 35
 
 She had two packages of paper; and she held one up in each hand; smiling。 〃Just what you asked for; isn't it? Triad Modem。 Two reams here; and I have two more in the kitchen; just in case。 So you see … 〃 She broke off; frowning; looking at him。
 〃You're dripping with sweat 。 。 。 and your color is very hectic。〃 She paused。 〃What have you been doing?〃 And although that set the panicky little voice of his lesser self to squealing again that he was caught and might as well give it up; might as well confess and hope for her mercy; he managed to meet her suspicious gaze with an ironic weariness。
 〃I think you know what I've been doing;〃 he said。 〃I've been suffering。〃 From the pocket of her skirt she took a Kleenex and wiped his brow。 The Kleenex came away wet。 She smiled at him with that terrible bogus maternity。
 〃Has it been very bad?〃
 〃Yes。 Yes; it has。 Now can I … 〃
 〃I told you about making me mad。 Live and learn; isn't that what they say? Well; if you live; I guess you'll learn。〃
 〃Can I have my pills now?〃
 〃In a minute;〃 she said。 Her eyes never left his sweaty face; its waxy pallor and red rashlike blotches。 〃First I want to make sure there's nothing else you want。 Nothing else stupid old Annie Wilkes forgot because she doesn't know how a Mister Smart Guy goes about writing a book。 I want to make sure you don't want me to go back to town and get you a tape recorder; or maybe a special pair of writing slippers; or something like that。 Because if you want me to; I'll go。 Your wish is my mand。 I won't even wait to give you your pills。 I'll hop right into Old Bessie again and go。 So what do you say; Mister Smart Guy? You all set?〃
 〃I'm all set;〃 he said。 〃Annie; please … 〃
 〃And you won't make me mad anymore?〃
 〃No。 I won't make you mad anymore。〃
 〃Because when I get mad I'm not really myself。〃 Her eyes dropped。 She was looking down to where his hands were cupped tightly together over the sample boxes of Novril。 She looked for a very long time。
 〃Paul?〃 she asked softly。 〃Paul; why are you holding your hands like that?〃 He began to cry。 It was guilt he cried from; and he hated that most of all: in addition to everything else that this monstrous woman had done to him; she had made him feel guilty as well。 So he cried from guilt 。 。 。 but also from simple childish weariness。
 He looked up at her; tears flowing down his cheeks; and played the absolute last card in his hand。
 〃I want my pills;〃 he said; 〃and I want the urinal。 I held it all the time you were gone; Annie; but I can't hold it much longer; and I don't want to wet myself again。〃 She smiled softly; radiantly; and pushed his tumbled hair off his brow。 〃You poor dear。 Annie has put you through a lot; hasn't she? Too much! Mean old Annie! I'll get it right away。〃
 
 
 36
 
 He wouldn't have dared put the pill
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