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Now； when the rum had him and the sea was crashing across the reef； when he sat alone with the night； he couldn't keep the images at bay very long： he and the boy playing touch…football in a wide； grassy park under fleecy clouds； Beth's hand reaching for his under a long waxed table during a Thanksgiving dinner at the elder Moore's estate； the flashing blare of a carnival merry…go…round； and their lips meeting as Brian； on a red…mouthed palamino； clapped his hands and grinned。
And after it had happened； after the day of storm and terror； after the doctors had diagnosed his listlessness； insomnia； and； later； fits of rage as 〃survivor's syndrome；〃 his father had confronted him in the sitting room of the family home； the old man's icy eyes had stared at him through a flat haze of blue Cuban cigar smoke。 He had not looked at his father； instead remaining intent on the flames that burned within a huge marble hearth。
〃If you're in trouble with the police again； David；〃 the old man said finally； his voice a harsh rasp； 〃I'm not going to help you。 I want you to understand that here and now。 Your barroom brawls and destruction of public property have gone far enough。〃
The younger man sat in silence； a log shifted； then burst into flame。
〃Well？ Have you nothing to say to me？〃
Moore slowly turned his head； their eyes met； ice against ice； and locked。 〃I didn't ask you to help me last time；〃 he said quietly。
〃By God； someone had to！〃 The old man waved his cigar； knocking off ashes onto the Oriental carpet。 〃What was I to do； leave you in jail for the rest of the night； let some goddamned reporter find you in there drunk and do a story about how Horton Moore's son went wild and shot out every damned traffic light for eight city blocks？ Jesus！ That would be exactly what my investors would like to see！〃
〃Fuck your investors；〃 Moore said； in a whisper； too low for his father to hear。
〃And you'd be in jail right this minute if I didn't have a lot of friends at City Hall！〃 the old man continued； his eyes blazing。 〃My God； boy； what's to bee of you？ There are no black sheep in the Moore family； I want you to know that！ And I won't sit here and watch you bee one； not while I have breath left in me； I won't！〃
Moore nodded but said nothing； he heard the fire burning and to him it sounded like the noise of the sea over rocks。
〃I don't know； I don't know；〃 his father muttered； spewing out a stream of smoke that curled toward the painting above the mantel。 The man in the portrait had another pair of accusing； solemn eyes： those of Moore's grandfather。 〃Maybe because you were my only child； maybe that's why I've been so lenient with you。 Maybe I've loved you too much； I don't know。。。 I thank God your mother isn't alive to see what you've bee！〃
Moore faced his father at last； and the look he gave him was so fierce the old man was silent。 〃And what have I bee？ You've tried to make something of me that I never wanted to be； nothing bores me more than the thought of that office； those confining walls； the dead rustle of papers。 I was a born executive； isn't that what you told your associates？ An executive in the Moore mold？ No。 I'm not going back there again。〃
〃Then what will you do； you idiot？ Goddamn it； that's what you've been educated to do！ There's nothing else for you！ My God； I know you've been through a bad time； but you're behaving like a lunatic！ They've been gone six months； David！ They're not ing back； and there's nothing else now except putting your nose back to the grindstone and doing what you're supposed to do！〃
〃No；〃 he said。 〃I can't。〃
〃I see；〃 the old man said； nodding； he took the cigar from his mouth and his smile was cool； sarcastic。 〃You can't or you won't？〃
〃Both。〃
〃Then if you won't pull yourself together like a man；〃 he said； leaning forward slightly； 〃you're no son of mine。 I've been wrong about you。 I can see that now。〃
〃Maybe。〃 David Moore stood up； their conversation was ing to an end； as it usually did； like the weakened last blows of weary gladiators。 〃I'll tell you what I am going to do； and it's something I've been thinking over for a long time。 I'm going to travel； I don't care where to。 I'm going to keep on moving until I've seen what I want to see； and maybe until I find a place I can belong to again。 There's nothing for me here anymore。〃
〃Of course。 You're going to run。 From me； from yourself。 Well； go on and run！ I don't care！ Where do you think you'll run to？ What are you looking for； another girl like her。。。？〃 He stopped suddenly； the last word had e out as a half…snarl。 His son turned on him； and the heat of his rage made the old man lean back。 He closed his mouth； not too obviously because he didn't want David to think he was frightened。
Moore controlled himself and then said； 〃When I was a child and knew no better；〃 he said； 〃you told me how much alike we were。 I'm a man now； and I see all the differences。〃
〃Then go on；〃 the old man told him。 〃Run。〃
Moore looked once into his father's face to find the man that was truly there； his father quickly averted his eyes。 〃I'd better go now；〃 he said finally。
〃I'm not holding you here。〃
〃No。 Not any longer。 I'm sorry； I didn't want to tell you my decision in anger。〃
〃What does it matter？ You've told me。〃
There was an awkward silence； Moore stepped forward； lifted his hand toward his father and extended it。 〃Good…bye；〃 he said。
〃You'll be back；〃 the old man said； ignoring his hand。
And it was then that David Moore had walked away from that life。 He worked his way from country to country； living close to the earth or on a boat at sea； not knowing what drew him on but knowing he had to take that next step； and the next； and the next。 He began to have the old nightmares again； the whirling scene of wind and wild ocean and Destiny's Child breaking into bits beneath him。 He began to hear Beth's voice calling to him over a great distance； fading in and out； sometimes even close to his ear； the whisper of his name and then silence。 It disturbed him； but he began to listen for it。 At times he doubted his sanity； but sometimes he was certain she stood beside him； trying to reach him； separated only by the barrier between life and death。
In a dark clapboard house in Singapore a woman with blackened teeth and the smile of a cat stared at him over a plate of yellowed bones。 She reached down and picked them up in her hands； rolled them around and then dropped them back。 They were ordinary chicken's bones； but the woman seemed to see something strange and important in them。
A group of sailors from Moore's freighter had gone with him to see the fortune…teller； and they stood in the shadows that fringed the room。 〃He's going to inherit a fortune； is that it？〃 one of them asked jokingly； and the others laughed。 〃Fortune； hell；〃 said another。 〃He's just going to be lucky enough to get out of this port without a colossal case of the drips。〃
〃Someone waits for you；〃 the woman said in a high…pitched whine。 The men laughed again； crude remarks were flung back and forth。 Moore watched the woman's eyes and believed her。 〃No。 Two people；〃 she said；