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〃Fall in love？〃 Kelson shrugged dejectedly。 〃How should I know？ I never had the time to find out。 I think I'd convinced myself that I could love her； and I was prepared to do everything within my power to make her a good husband。 Perhaps a king hasn't the right to expect more than that。〃
〃A man has the right；〃 Dhugal said indignantly。 〃Is a king any different？〃
〃Yes； damn you！ A king is different。 He … 〃 Kelson lowered his eyes； fighting back tears。 〃I'm sorry；〃 he whispered。 〃I am a man as well as a king； and I grieve for both my brides today。 This girl； who I might have e to love as wife as well as queen … and the thwarted union of our two lands； which might have brought peace a little sooner。 I … 〃
His voice broke； threatening to sob； and he set aside his crown and buried his face in one bloodied hand。
〃Please leave me； Dhugal；〃 he managed to choke out。
He even managed to keep control until Dhugal had gotten up and left； shaking his head hopelessly as he let his eyes pass once more over the still； pitiful form before him。
O God； they mean well； but how could they possibly understand？ he thought numbly。 It's over before it even had a chance to begin。
Vision starting to blur； he reached out one trembling forefinger to lightly touch a lock of her hair that was not slick with her blood。 He lifted it to his lips as the tears welled in his eyes； fighting back the sobs which threatened to reduce him to a weeping ruin。
Sidana。。。 he whispered only in his mind。 Sidana； my silken princess。 I would have tried to make you happy。 You might have been。。。
Tenderly he slid his arms under her shoulders and lifted her to rest against his chest； heedless of the blood； cradling her head against his shoulder and rocking her； whispering her name as the tears made him blind and the sobs shook both their bodies。
〃Sidana。。。〃
And thus； set apart by his blood and his crown； as he would always be。 Kelson of Gwynedd crouched in the ruin of shattered dreams and wept bitter tears； holding the dead hope of peace in his trembling arms。
Here ends Book I of The Histories of Kelson the King。 Book II； The King's Justice； will continue the struggle of Kelson against the conspiracy of Archbishop Loris and Caitrin of Meara； bring the return of Jehana； Kelson's Deryni mother； and develop new themes and problems for the young King and his counsellors。
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