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elf and daubed cologne behind her ears； inside her elbows； behind her knees； on her nipples； and on her genitals。
There was a full…length mirror in the bedroom； and she stood before it； examining herself。 Were the goods good enough？ Would the offering be accepted？ She had worked to keep in shape； to preserve the smoothness and sinuousness of youth。 She could not bear the thought of rejection。
The goods were good。 The lines in her neck were few and barely noticeable。 Her face was unblemished and unscarred。 There were no droops or sags or pouches。 She stood straight and admired the contours of her breasts。 Her waist was slim； her belly flat … the reward for endless hours of exercise after each child。 The only problem； as she assessed her body critically； was her hips。 By no stretch of anyone's imagination were they girlish。
They signaled motherhood。 They were； as Brody once said； breeder's hips。 The recollection brought a quick flash of remorse； but excitement quickly nudged it aside。
Her legs were long and … below the pad of fat on her rear … slender。 Her ankles were delicate； and her feet … with the toenails nearly pruned … were perfect enough to suit any pediphile。
She dressed in her hospital clothes。 From the back of her closet she took a plastic shopping bag into which she put a pair of bikini underpants； a bra； a neatly folded lavender summer dress； a pair of low…heeled pumps； a can of spray deodorant； a plastic bottle of bath powder； a toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste。 She carried the bag to the garage； tossed it into the back seat of her Volkswagen beetle； backed out of the driveway； and drove to the Southampton Hospital。
The dull drive increased the fatigue she had been feeling for hours。 She had not slept all night。 She had first lain in bed； then sat by the window； struggling with all the twistings of emotion and conscience； desire and regret； longing and recrimination。 She didn't know exactly when she had decided on this manifestly rash； dangerous plan。 She had been thinking about it … and trying not to think about it … since the day she first met Hooper。 She had weighed the risks and； somehow； calculated that they were worth taking； though she was not entirely sure what she could gain from the adventure。 She knew she wanted change； almost any change。 She wanted to be assured and reassured that she was desirable … not just to her husband； for she had grown placent about that； but to the people she saw as her real peers； the people among whom she still numbered herself。 She felt that without some remedy； the part of herself that she most cherished would die。 Perhaps the past could never be revived。 But perhaps it could be recalled physically as well as mentally。 She wanted an injection； a transfusion of the essence of her past； and she saw Matt Hooper as the only possible donor。 The thought of love never entered her mind。 Nor did she want or anticipate a relationship either profound or enduring。 She sought only to be serviced； restored。
She was grateful that the work assigned her when she arrived at the hospital demanded concentration and conversation； for it prevented her from thinking。 She and another volunteer changed the bedding of the elderly patients for whom the hospital munity was a surrogate … and； in some cases； final … home。 She had to remember the names of children in distant cities； had to fashion new excuses for why they hadn't written。 She had to feign recollection of the plots of television shows and speculate on why such…and…such a character had left his wife for a woman who was patently an adventuress。
At 11：45； Ellen told the supervisor of volunteers that she didn't feel well。 Her thyroid was acting up again； she said； and she was getting her period。 She thought she'd go lie down for a while in the staff lounge。 And if a nap didn't help； she said； she'd probably go home。 In fact； if she wasn't back on the job by 1：30 or so； the supervisor could assume she had gone home。 It was an explanation that she hoped was vague enough to discourage anyone from actively looking for her。
She went into the lounge； counted to twenty； and opened the door a crack to see if the corridor was empty。 It was； most of the staff were in； or on their way to； the cafeteria on the other side of the building。 She stepped into the corridor； closed the door softly behind her； and hurried around a corner and out a side door of the hospital that led to the staff parking lot。
She drove most of the way to Sag Harbor； then stopped at a gas station。 When the tank was full and the gas paid for； she asked to use the ladies' room。 The attendant gave her the key； and she pulled her car around to the side of the station； next to the ladies' room door。 She opened the door； but before going into the ladies' room she returned the key to the attendant。 She walked to her car； removed the plastic bag from the back seat； entered the ladies' room； and pushed the button that locked the door。
She stripped； and standing on the cold floor in her bare feet； looking at her reflection in the mirror above the sink； she felt a thrill of risk。 She sprayed deodorant under her arms and on her feet。 She took the clean underpants from the plastic bag and stepped into them。 She shook a little powder into each cup of the bra and put it on。 She took the dress from the bag； unfolded it； checked it for wrinkles； and slipped it over her head。 She poured powder into each of her shoes； brushed off the bottom of each foot with a paper towel； and put on the shoes。 Then she brushed her teeth and bed her hair； stuffed her hospital clothes into the plastic bag； and opened the door。 She looked both ways； saw that no one was watching her； then stepped out of the ladies' room； tossed the bag into the car； and got in。
As she drove out of the gas station； she hunched down in her seat so the attendant； if he should chance to notice her； would not see that she had changed clothes。
It was 12：20 when she arrived at Banner's； a small steak…and…seafood restaurant on the water in Sag Harbor。 The parking lot was in the rear； for which she was grateful。
On the off…chance that someone she knew might drive down the street in Sag Harbor； she didn't want her car in plain view。
One reason she had picked Banner's was that it was known as a favorite nighttime restaurant for yachtsmen and summer people； which meant that it probably had little luncheon trade。 And it was expensive； which made it almost certain that no year…round residents； no local tradesmen； would go there for lunch。 Ellen checked her wallet。 She had nearly fifty dollars … all the emergency cash she and Brody kept in the house。 She made a mental note of the bills： a twenty； two tens； a five； and three ones。 She wanted to replace exactly what she had taken from the coffee can in the kitchen closet。
There were two other cars in the parking lot； a Chevrolet Vega and a bigger car； tan。 She remembered that Hooper's car was green and that it was named after some animal。 She left her car and walked into the restaurant； holding her hands over her head to protect her hair from the light rain。
The restaurant