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sinners were brought to repent and experience conversion。 Beyond the pen were rows and rows of hard wooden benches； packed with chanting； fanatic seekers of salvation； awed by the threats of Hell and Damnation。 It was terrifying for a six…year…old child。 The evangelists were Fundamentalists； Holy Rollers and Pentecostalists and Methodists and Adventists； and they all breathed Hell…fire and Damnation。
〃Get on your knees； O ye sinners； and tremble before the might of Jehovah！ For your wicked ways have broken the heart of Jesus Christ； and for that ye shall bear the punishment of His Father's wrath。 Look around at the faces of the young children here； conceived in lust and filled with sin。〃 And little Josephine would burn with shame； feeling everyone staring at her。 When the bad headaches came； Josephine knew that they were a punishment from God。 She prayed every night that they would go away； so she would know that God had forgiven her。 She wished she knew what she had done that was so bad。 〃And I'll sing Hallelujah； and you'll sing Hallelujah； and we'll all sing Hallelujah when we arrive at Home。〃
〃Liquor is the blood of the Devil； and tobacco is his breath； and fornication is his pleasure。 Are you guilty of trafficking with Satan？ Then you shall burn eternally in Hell； damned forever； because Lucifer is ing to get you！〃 And Josephine would tremble and look around wildly； fiercely clutching the wooden bench so that the Devil could not take her。 They sang； 〃I want to get to Heaven； my long…sought rest。〃 But little Josephine misunderstood and sang； 〃I want to get to Heaven with my long short dress。〃
After the thundering sermons would e the Miracles。 Josephine would watch in frightened fascination as a procession of crippled men and women limped and crawled and rode in wheelchairs to the glory pen； where the preacher laid hands on them and willed the powers of Heaven to heal them。 They would throw away their canes and their crutches； and some of them would babble hysterically in strange tongues； and Josephine would cower in terror。 The revival meetings always ended with the plate being passed。
〃Jesus is watching you and He hates a miser。〃 And then it would be over。 But the fear would stay with Josephine for a long time。
In 1946； the town of Odessa； Texas； had a dark brown taste。 Long ago； when the Indians had lived there； it had been the taste of desert sand。 Now it was the taste of oil。 There were two kinds of people in Odessa： Oil People and the Others。 The Oil People did not look down on the Others they simply felt sorry for them； for surely God meant everyone to have private planes and Cadillacs and swimming pools and to give charapugne parties for a hundred people。 That was why He had put oil in Texas。
Josephine Czinski did not know that she was one of the Others。 At six； Josephine Czinski was a beautiful child； with shiny black hair and deep brown eyes and a lovely oval face。 Josephine's mother was a skilled seamstress who worked for the wealthy people in town； and she would take Josephine along as she fitted the Oil Ladies and turned bolts of fairy cloth into stunning evening gowns。 The Oil People liked Josephine because she was a polite； friendly child； and they liked themselves for liking her。 They felt it was democratic of them to allow a poor kid from the other side of town to ate with their children。 Josephine was Polish； but she did look lovely； and while she could never be a member of the Club； they were happy to give her visitors' privileges。 Josephine was allowed to play with the Oil Children and share their bicycles and ponies and hundred…dollar dolls； so that she came to live a dual life。 There was her life at home in the tiny clapboard cottage with battered furniture and outdoor plumbing and doors that sagged on their hinges。 Then there was Josephine's life in beautiful colonial manions on large country estates。 If Josephine stayed overnight at Cissy Topping's or Lindy Ferguson's； she was given a large bedroom all to herself； with breakfast served by maids and butlers。 Josephine loved to get up in the middle of the night when everyone was asleep and go down and stare at the beautiful things in the house； the lovely paintings and heavy monogrammed silver and antiques burnished by time and history。 She would study them and caress them and tell herself that one day she would have such things； one day she would live in a grand house and be surrounded by beauty。 But in both of Josephine's worlds； she felt lonely。 She was afraid to talk to her mother about her headaches and her fear of God because her mother had bee a brooding fanatic； obsessed with God's punishment； weling it。 Josephine did not want to discuss her fears with the Oil Children because they expected her to be bright and gay； as they were。 And so； Josephine was forced to keep her terrors to herself。
On Josephine's seventh birthday； Brubaker's Department Store announced a photographic contest for the Most Beautiful Child in Odessa。 The entry picture had to be taken in a photograph department of the store。 The prize was a gold cup inscribed with the name of she winner。 The cup was placed in the department…store window； and Josephine used to e by the window every day to stare at it。 She wanted it more than she had ever wanted anything in her life。
Josephine's mother would not let her enter the contest 〃Vanity is the devil's mirror；'' she said but one of the Oil Women who liked Josephine paid for her picture。 From that moment on； Josephine knew that the gold cup was hers。 She could visualize it sitting on her dresser。 She would polish it carefully every day。 When Josephine found out that she was in the finals； she was too excited to go to school。 She stayed in bed all day with an upset stomach； her happiness too much for her to bear。 This would be the first time that she had owned anything beautiful。 The following day Josephine learned that the contest had been won by Tina Hudson； one of the Oil Children。 Tina was not nearly as beautiful as Josephine； but Tina's father happened to be on the board of directors of the chain that owned Brubaker's Department Store。
When Josephine heard the news； she developed a headache that made her want to scream with pain。 She was afraid for God to know how much that beautiful gold cup meant to her； but He must have known because her headaches continued。 At night she would cry into her pillow； so that her mother could not hear her。
A few days after the contest ended； Josephine was invited to Tina's home for a weekend。 The gold cup was sitting in Tina's room on a mantel。 Josephine stared at it for a long time。 When Josephine returned home； the cup was hidden in her overnight case。 It was still there when Tina's mother came by for it and took it back。 Josephine's mother gave her a hard whipping with a switch made from a long； green twig。 But Josephine was not angry with her mother。 The few minutes Josephine had held the beautiful gold cup in her hands had been worth all the pain。
Hollywood； California； in 1946； was the film capital of the world； a magnet for the talented； the greedy； the beautiful； the hopeful and the weird。 It was the land of palm trees and Rita Hayworth and the