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f Al…Rassan; seemed to her to be rushing headlong towards something vast and terrible; and the deaths of Velaz and of Rodrigo's man at the barracks door; and even of seven desert warriors tonight…all these were merely prelude to much worse to e。
She looked around the large room and by the light of the torches saw men she liked and admired; and some she loved; and she wondered…in the strange; hollowed…out mood she had passed into…how many of them would live to see the next Ragosa Carnival。
Or if there would be another one a year from now。
Rodrigo came over; shirtless; a neat; efficient bandage covering his most serious wound。 His upper body and arms were hard and muscled; laced with scars。 One more now; when this healed。 She would have a look at it later in the day。 Work was sometimes the only barrier there was between life and the emptiness beyond。
His expression was strange。 She hadn't seen him look this way since 。。。 since the night she'd met him and they had watched a hamlet burn north of Fezana。 There was that same anger now; and a kind of hurt that didn't sort easily with his profession。 Or perhaps that wasn't true: perhaps Rodrigo was good at what he did because he knew the price exacted by the deeds of soldiers at war?
Odd; how her mind was drifting。 Questions for which there were no answers。 Much like death。 The emptiness。 The physician's implacable adversary。 A sword wound deep into the collarbone。 There was no answer for that。
She said; clearing her throat; 〃Did he clean it 。。。 before he put the dressing on?〃
Belmonte nodded。 〃With a whole flask of wine。 Didn't you hear me?〃
She shook her head。 〃It looks like a proper dressing。〃
〃Lain's been doing this for years。〃
〃I know。〃
There was a little silence。 He knelt in front of her; beside Ammar。 〃His last words to me were to ask that we take care of you。 Jehane; I swore that we would。〃
She bit her lip。 Said; 〃I thought I'd been hired to take care of all of you。〃
〃It goes both ways; my dear。〃 That was Husari。 Ammar said nothing; only watched。 His ringers were cool; holding hers。
Rodrigo looked at him; registering the linked hands; and said; 〃Muwardi assassins suggests Cartada。〃 He stood up。
〃I would think so;〃 Ammar said。 〃In fact; I know it was。 There was an emissary who found me; as well。 A different kind of mission。〃
Rodrigo nodded slowly。 〃He wants you back?〃
〃He does。〃
〃We assumed that; didn't we?〃
〃I think Almalik wanted to make certain I knew it。〃
〃What was the offer?〃
〃All the things one might expect。〃 The tone was cool。
Rodrigo registered that; too。 〃My apologies。 I ought not to have asked。〃
〃Perhaps。 But you did。 Ask the next question?〃 Ammar released her hand。 He rose to his feet。
The two men gazed at each other; grey eyes and blue。 Rodrigo nodded his head; as if accepting a challenge。 〃Very well。 What did you tell them?〃
〃That I didn't know my answer; whether I would return or not。〃
〃I see。 Was that true?〃
〃At the time。〃
A silence。 〃Not so long ago; if it was tonight。〃
〃It was。 Some things have intervened。〃
〃I see。 And what would you answer if the same question were asked of you now?〃
A small; deliberate hesitation。 〃That I am well content with the pany in which I find myself。〃 There was a nuance there; Jehane realized。 A moment later she saw that Rodrigo had also caught it。
He gestured around the room。 〃We are that pany?〃
Ibn Khairan inclined his head。 〃A part of it。〃 The two men were of a height; the Valledan was broader across the shoulders and chest。
〃I see。〃
〃And you?〃 Ammar asked; and now Jehane understood why he had permitted…even invited…the questions。 〃Where will the men of Rodrigo Belmonte be serving this summer?〃
〃We ride against Cartada soon。 With the army of Ragosa。〃
〃And if King Ramiro should also be riding? Against Fezana's walls? What then; O Scourge of Al…Rassan? Will we lose you? Will we live to fear the sight of your banner again?〃
Some of the pany had e over and were listening。 It was quiet in the room and there was; indeed; light ing in from the east。 Sunrise soon。
Rodrigo was silent a long while。 Then; 〃I; too; am well content with where I find myself。〃
〃But?〃
The anger in Belmonte's eyes was gone。 The other thing was still there。 〃But if the armies of Esperana e through the tagra lands; I think I must go to them。〃
Jehane let out her breath。 She hadn't been aware that she'd been holding it。
〃Of course you must;〃 Ammar said。 〃You have lived your life for this。〃
Rodrigo looked away for the first time and then back。 〃What do you want me to say?〃
Ammar's tone was suddenly hard; merciless; 〃Oh; well 。。。 how about; 'Die; Asharite dogs! Kindath swine!' Something of that sort?〃
There was a sound from the soldiers。 Rodrigo winced and shook his head。 〃Not from me; Ammar。 Not from those who ride with me。〃
〃And from those who will ride all around you?〃
Rodrigo shook his head again; almost doggedly。 〃Again; what can I say to you? They will be much as the Muwardis are; I suppose。 Driven by hatred and holiness。〃 He made a curious gesture; both hands opening and then closing again。 〃You tell me。 What shall good men do in such a war; Ammar?〃
Ammar's answer came; as Jehane had feared and known it would: 〃Kill each other; until something ends in the world。〃
Alvar and Husari took her home as the sun was rising over the strewn and empty streets。 They all needed sleep very badly。 Alvar took his old room on the ground level; the one he'd used when she and he and Velaz had first e through the pass to Ragosa。
Husari took Velaz's bed beside the chamber where Jehane saw her patients。
She bade them good night; though the night was done。 She went up the stairs to her room。 She opened the window and stood there watching the eastern sky grow brighter beyond the roofs of houses。
It was going to be a beautiful morning。 The dawn wind brought the scent of almond trees from the garden across the way。 It was quiet now。 The streets were empty。 Velaz would not see this morning e。
She tried; again; to think how she could tell this to her mother and father; and again backed away from that。 She thought of something else: it would be necessary to arrange for burial; a Kindath service。 Avren would help。 Perhaps she would ask him to do this? Find someone to chant the ancient words of the liturgy:
One sun for the god。
Two moons for his beloved sisters。
Uncountable stars to shine in the night。
Oh; man and woman; born to a dark path;
only look up and the lights shall guide you home。
She cried again; the tears spilling down her cheeks; falling on the windowsill。
After a time she wiped her face with the backs of her hands and lay down on the bed; not bothering to undress; though there was blood on her clothing。 The tears had stopped。 An emptiness; pushing outwards from her heart; took their place。 She lay there but could not sleep。
A little later she heard the sound from outside。 She had been waiting for that sound。
Ammar swung up and onto the window ledge。 He stayed there; motionless;