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； and the herds； as if at any moment he might rise to resume his stewardship。 But we both knew he would not。
When the last moment came； there was a kind of quiet expectancy on his face … no fear； but something more difficult to describe。 As he strained for his final breath of air； I suddenly remembered something I had read to his book； and realized that I had made a mistake on that night so long ago。
She will show me the Way of Black Fire or there is no other Hope； he had written。 Either she will answer； or Death。
He had not meant that he would kill her if she did not give him what he needed。 He had meant that if she could not help him find an answer； then he would have to wait until death came for him before he could learn the truth。
And now he would finally receive an answer to the question that had tormented him for so long。 Whatever that answer might be； Sulis did not return to share it with me。
Now I am an old； old woman； and I will find it soon enough myself。 It is strange； perhaps； but I find I do not much care。 In one year with Tellarin； in those months of fierce love； I lived an entire lifetime。 Since then I have lived another one； a long； slow life whose small pleasures have largely balanced the moments of suffering。 Surely two lives are enough for anyone … who needs the endless span of the immortals？ After all； as the burning man made clear； an eternity of pain would be no gift。
And now that I have told my tale； even the ghosts that sometimes still startle me awake at midnight seem more like ancient friends than things to be feared。
I have made my choices。
I think I am content。