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She unsnaps my Bermudas and pulls down the zipper。 Under other circumstances; having a woman as pretty as this (a little severe; yes; but still pretty) do that would make me extremely happy。 Today; however …
'You lose; Petie…boy;' she says。 'Jockeys。 Dollar in the kitty。'
'On payday;' he says; ing over。 His face joins hers; they look down at me through their Plexi masks like a couple of space aliens looking down at an abductee。 I try to make them see my eyes; to see me looking at them; but these two fools are looking at my undershorts。
'Ooooh; and red; ' Pete says。 'A sha…vinguh!'
'I call them more of a wash pink;' she replies。 'Hold him up for me; Peter; he weighs a ton。 No wonder he had a heart attack。 Let this be a lesson to you。'
I'm in shape! I yell at her。 Probably in better shape than you; bitch!
My hips are suddenly jerked upward by strong hands。 My back cracks; the sound makes my heart leap。
'Sorry; guy;' Pete says; and suddenly I'm colder than ever as my shorts and red underpants are pulled down。
'Upsa…daisy once; ' she says; lifting one foot; and upsa…daisy twice; lifting the other foot off e the mocs; and off e the socks…'
She stops abruptly; and hope seizes me once more。
'Hey; Pete。'
'Yeah?'
'Do guys ordinarily wear Bermuda shorts and moccasins to golf in?'
Behind her (except that's only the source; actually it's all around us) the Rolling Stones have moved on to 'Emotional Rescue。' I will be your knight in shining ahh…mah; Mick Jagger sings; and I wonder how funky he'd dance with about three sticks of Hi…Core dynamite jammed up his skinny ass。
'If you ask me; this guy was just asking for trouble ' she goes on。 'I thought they had these special shoes; very ugly; very golf…specific; with little knobs on the soles…'
'Yeah; but wearing them's not the law;' Pete says。 He holds his gloved hands out over my upturned face; slides them together; and bends the fingers back。 As the knuckles crack; talcum powder sprinkles down like fine snow。 'At least not yet。 Not like bowling shoes。 They catch you bowling without a pair of bowling shoes; they can send you to state prison。'
'Is that so?'
'Yes。'
'Do you want to handle temp and gross examination?'
No! I shriek。 No; he's a kid; what are you DOING?
He looks at her as if this same thought had crossed his own mind。 'That's 。 。 。 um 。 。 。 not strictly legal; is it; Katie? I mean。 。 。 '
She looks around as he speaks; giving the room a burlesque examination; and I'm starting to get a vibe that could be very bad news for me: severe or not; I think that Cisco…alias Dr。 Katie Arlen…has got the hots for Petie with the dark blue eyes。 Dear Christ; they have hauled me paralyzed off the golf course and into an episode of General Hospital; this week's subplot titled 'Love Blooms in Autopsy Room Four。'
'Gee;' she says in a hoarse little stage whisper。 'I don't see anyone here but you and me。'
'The tape…'
'Not rolling yet;' she says。 'And once it is; I'm right at your elbow every step of the way 。 。 。 as far as anyone will ever know; anyway。 And mostly I will be。 I just want to put away those charts and slides。 And if you really feel unfortable…'
Yes! I scream up at him out of my unmoving face。 Feel unfortable! VERY unfortable! TOO unfortable!
But he's twenty…four at most and what's he going to say to this pretty; severe woman who's standing inside his space; invading it in a way that can really only mean one thing? No; Mommy; I'm scared? Besides; he wants to。 I can see the wanting through the Plexi eyeshield; bopping around in there like a bunch of overage punk rockers pogoing to the Stones。
'Hey; as long as you'll cover for me if…'
'Sure;' she says。 'Got to get your feet wet sometime; Peter。 And if you really need me to; I'll roll back the tape。'
He looks startled。 'You can do that?'
She smiles。 'Ve haff many see…grets in Autopsy Room Four; mein herr。 '
'I bet you do;' he says; smiling back; then reaches past my frozen field of vision。 When his hand es back; it's wrapped around a microphone which hangs down from the ceiling on a black cord。 The mike looks like a steel teardrop。 Seeing it there makes this horror real in a way it wasn't before。 Surely they won't really cut me up; will they? Pete is no veteran; but he has had training; surely he'll see the marks of whatever bit me while I was looking for my ball in the rough; and then they'll at least suspect。 They'll have to suspect。
Yet I keep seeing the scissors with their heartless satin shine…jumped…up poultry shears…and I keep wondering if I will still be alive when he takes my heart out of my chest cavity and holds it up; dripping; in front of my locked gaze for a moment before turning it to plop it into the weighing pan。 I could be; it seems to me; I really could be。 Don't they say the brain can remain conscious for up to three minutes after the heart stops?
'Ready; Doctor;' Pete says; and now he sounds almost formal。 Somewhere; tape is rolling。
The autopsy procedure has begun。
Let's flip this pancake;' she says cheerfully; and I am turned over just that efficiently。 My right arm goes flying out to one side and then falls back against the side of the table; hanging down with the raised metal lip digging into the biceps。 It hurts a lot; the pain is just short of excruciating; but I don't mind。 I pray for the lip to bite through my skin; pray to bleed; something bona fide corpses don't do。
'Whoops…a…daisy;' Dr。 Arlen says。 She lifts my arm up and plops it back down at my side。
Now it's my nose I'm most aware of。 It's smashed down against the table; and my lungs for the first time send out a distress message…a cottony; deprived feeling。 My mouth is closed; my nose partially crushed shut (just how much I can't tell; I can't even feel myself breathing; not really)。 What if I suffocate like this?
Then something happens that takes my mind pletely off my nose。 A huge object…it feels like a glass baseball bat…is rammed rudely up my rectum。 Once more I try to scream and can produce only the faint; wretched humming。
'Temp in;' Peter says。 'I've put on the timer。'
'Good idea;' she says; moving away。 Giving him room。 Letting him test…drive this baby。 Letting him test…drive me。 The music is turned down slightly。
'Subject is a white Caucasian; age forty…four;' Pete says; speaking for the mike now; speaking for posterity。 'His name is Howard Randolph Cottrell; residence is 1566 Laurel Crest Lane; here in Derry。'
Dr。 Arlen; at some distance: 'Mary Mead。'
A pause; then Pete again; sounding just a tiny bit flustered: 'Dr。 Arlen informs me that the subject actually lives in Mary Mead; which split off from Derry in…'
'Enough with the history lesson; Pete。'
Dear God; what have they stuck up my ass? Some sort of cattle thermometer? If it was a little longer; I think; I could taste the bulb at the end。 And they didn't exactly go crazy with the lubricant 。 。 。 but then; why would they? I'm dead; after all。
Dead。
'Sorry; Doctor;' Pete says。 He fumbles mentally for his place and eventually finds it。 'This information is from the am