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gether while Blyth hurriedly strapped his leg on。
Nobody suspected。 From the first moments； when my brothers and I stood there incredulous as Blyth screamed and jumped and tugged at his leg； to the tearful farewell of Blyth's parents and Diggs taking statements （a bit even appeared in the Inverness Courier which was picked up for its curiosity value by a couple of the Fleet Street rags）； not one person even suggested that it might have been anything other than a tragic and slightly macabre accident。 Only I knew better。
I didn't tell Eric。 He was shocked by what had happened and genuinely sorry for Blyth and his parents。 All I said was that I thought it was a judgement from God that Blyth had first lost his leg and then had the replacement bee the instrument of his downfall。 All because of the rabbits。 Eric； who was going through a religious phase at the time which I suppose I was to some extent copying； thought this was a terrible thing to say； God wasn't like that。 I said the one I believed in was。
At any rate； such was the reason that particular patch of ground got its name： the Snake Park。
I lay in bed； thinking back on all this。 Father still hadn't e back。 Perhaps he was going to stay out all night。 That was extremely unusual； and rather worrying。 Perhaps he had been knocked down； or had died of a heart attack。
I've always had a rather ambivalent attitude towards something happening to my father； and it persists。 A death is always exciting； always makes you realise how alive you are； how vulnerable but so…far…lucky； but the death of somebody close gives you a good excuse to go a bit crazy for a while and do things that would otherwise be inexcusable。 What delight to behave really badly and still get loads of sympathy！
But I'd miss him； and I don't know what the legal position would be about me staying on here by myself。 Would I get all his money？ That would be good； I could get my motorbike now instead of having to wait。 Jesus； there'd be so many things I could do I don't even know where to start thinking about them。 But it would be a big change； and I don't know that I'm ready for it yet。
I could feel myself starting to slide off into sleep； I began to imagine and see all sorts of weird things behind my eyes ： maze…shapes and spreading areas of unknown colours； then fantastic buildings and spaceships and weapons and landscapes。 I often wish I could remember my dreams better。。。。
Two years after I killed Blyth I murdered my young brother Paul； for quite different and more fundamental reasons than I'd disposed of Blyth； and then a year after that I did for my young cousin Esmerelda； more or less on a whim。
That's my score to date。 Three。 I haven't killed anybody for years； and don't intend to ever again。
It was just a stage I was going through。
3： In the Bunker
My GREATEST ENEMIES are Women and the Sea。 These things I hate。 Women because they are weak and stupid and live in the shadow of men and are nothing pared to them； and the Sea because it has always frustrated me； destroying what I have built； washing away what I have left； wiping clean the marks I have made。 And I'm not all that sure the Wind is blameless； either。
The Sea is a sort of mythological enemy； and I make what you might call sacrifices to it in my soul； fearing it a little； respecting it as you're supposed to； but in many ways treating it as an equal。 It does things to the world； and so do I； we should both be feared。 Women。。。 well； women are a bit too close for fort as far as I'm concerned。 I don't even like having them on the island； not even Mrs Clamp； who es every week on a Saturday to clean the house and deliver our supplies。 She's ancient； and sexless the way the very old and the very young are； but she's still been a woman； and I resent that； for my own good reason。
I woke the next morning； wondering if my father had e back or not。 Without bothering to dress； I went to his room。 I was going to try the door； but I could hear him snoring before I touched the handle； so I turned and went to the bathroom。
In the bathroom； after a piss； I went through my daily washing ritual。 First I had my shower。 The shower is the only time in any twenty…four…hour period I take my underpants right off。 I put the old pair in the dirty…linen bag in the airing cupboard。 I showered carefully； starting at my hair and ending between my toes and under my toenails。 Sometimes； when I have to make precious substances such as toenail cheese or belly…button fluff； I have to go without a shower or bath for days and days； I hate doing this because I soon feel dirty and itchy； and the only bright thing about such abstinence is how good it feels to have a shower at the end of it。
After my shower； and a brisk rub…down with first a face…cloth and then a towel； I trimmed my nails。 Then I brushed my teeth thoroughly with my electric toothbrush。 Next the shave。 I always use shaving foam and the latest razors （twin…blade swivel…heads are state…of…the…art at the moment）； removing the downy brown growth of the previous day and night with dexterity and precision。 As with all my ablutions； the shave follows a definite and predetermined pattern； I take the same number of strokes of the same length in the same sequence each morning。 As always； I felt a rising tingle of excitement as I contemplated the meticulously shorn surfaces of my face。
I blew and picked my nose clean； washed my hands； cleaned the razor； nail…clipper； shower and basin； rinsed out the flannel and bed my hair。 Happily I didn't have any spots； so there was nothing else required but a final handwash and a clean pair of underpants。 I placed all my washing materials； towels； razor and so forth exactly where they should be； wiped a little steam off the mirror on my bathroom cabinet； and returned to my room。
There I put on my socks； green for that day。 Then a khaki shirt with pockets。 In the winter I'd have a vest underneath and a green army jumper over the shirt； but not in the summer。 My green cord trousers came next； followed by my fawn Kickers boots； labels removed as from everything I wear because I refuse to be a walking advertisement for anybody。 My bat jacket； knife； bags； catapult and other equipment I took down to the kitchen with me。
It was still early； and the rain I'd heard forecast the previous night was looking about ready to drop。 I had my modest breakfast； and I was ready。
I went out into the fresh damp morning； walking quickly to keep warm and get round the island before any rain started。 The hills beyond the town were hidden by cloud； and the sea was rough as the wind freshened。 The grass was heavy with dew； drops of mist bowed the unopened flowers and clung to my Sacrifice Poles； too； like clear blood on the shrivelled heads and tiny； desiccated bodies。
A couple of jets screamed over the island at one point； two Jaguars wing to wing about one hundred metres up and going fast； crossing the whole island in an eye…blink and racing out to sea。 I glared at them； then went on my way。 Once