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ou've been living in it ever since。〃
Though he could not admit it to her； he had to admit to himself that he was groping toward understanding； that he was on the brink of seeing his past from a new perspective that would make all of the mysterious lines and angles fall into a new and prehensible shape。
If selective amnesia； carefully constructed false memories； and even multiple personalities were not indications of madness but only the hooks he had used to hold on to sanity…as Holly insisted…then what would happen to him if he let go of those hooks？ If he dug up the truth about his past； faced the things he had refused to face when he had turned to fantasy as a child； would the truth drive him mad this time？ What was he hiding from？ 〃Listen；〃 she said； 〃the important thing is that you shut it down before it reached us； before it did any harm。〃
〃My shin hurts like hell；〃 he said； wincing。
〃Good；〃 she said brightly。
She started the engine。
〃Where are we going now？〃 he asked。
〃Where else？ The library。〃
Holly parked on Copenhagen Lane in front of the small Victorian house that served as the New Svenborg library。
She was pleased that her hands were not shaking； that her voice was level and calm； and that she had been able to drive from Tivoli Gardens without weaving all over the road。 After the incident in the park； she was amazed that her pants were still clean。 She had been reduced to raw terror …a pure； intense emotion untainted by any other。
Diluted now； it was still with her； and she knew it would remain with her until they were out of these spooky old woods…or dead。 But she was determined not to reveal the depth of her fear to Jim； because he had to be worse off than she was。
After all； it was his life that was turning out to be a collage of flimsy lies。
He needed to lean on her。
As she and Jim went up the front walk to the porch （Jim limping）； Holly noticed he was studying the lawn around him； as if he thought something might start burrowing toward them。
Better not； she thought； or you'll have two bleeding shins。
But as she went through the front door； she wondered if a jolt of pain would work a second time。
In the paneled foyer； a sign announced NONFICTION SECOND FLOOR。 An arrow pointed to a staircase on her right。
The foyer funneled into a first…floor hallway off which lay two large rooms。 Both were filled with bookshelves。 The chamber on the left also contained reading tables with chairs and a large oak desk。
The woman at the desk was a good advertisement for country living flawless plexion； lustrous chestnut hair； clear hazel eyes。 She looked thirty…five but was probably twelve years older。
The nameplate in front Of her said ELOISE GLYNN。
Yesterday； when Holly had wanted to e into the library to see if the much…admired Mrs。 Glynn was there； Jim had insisted that she would be retired； that she had been 〃quite old〃 twenty…five years ago； when in fact she obviously had been fresh out of college and starting her first job。
By parison with previous discoveries； this was only a minor surprise。
Jim hadn't wanted Holly to e into the library yesterday； so he'd simply lied。 And from the look on his face now； it was clear that Elois Glynn's youth was no surprise to him either； he had known； yesterday； that he was not telling the truth； though perhaps he had not understood why he was lying。
The librarian did not recognize Jim。 Either he had been one of those kids who left little impression or； more likely； he had been telling the truth when he'd said he had not been to the library since he'd left for college eighteen years ago。
Eloise Glynn had the bouncy manner and attitude of a girls' sports coach that Holly remembered from high school。 〃Willott？〃 she said in answer to Holly's question。 〃Oh； yes； we've got a truckload of Willott〃 She bounced up from her chair。 〃I can show you right where he's at。〃
She came around her desk； stepping briskly； and led Holly and Jim across the hall to the other large room。 〃He was local； as I'm sure you know。
Died a decade ago； but two…thirds of his books are still in print。〃 She stopped in front of the young…adult section and made a sweeping gesture with one hand to indicate two three…foot shelves of Willott titles。 〃He was a productive man； Artie Willott； so busy that beavers hung their heads in shame when he walked by。〃
She grinned at Holly； and it was infectious。 Holly grinned back at him 〃We're looking for The Black Windmill。〃
〃That's one of his most popular titles； never met a kid didn't love it； Mrs。 Glynn plucked the book off the shelf almost without looking to where it was； handed it to Holly。 〃This for your kid？〃 〃Actually for me。 I read about it on the plaque over in Tivoli Gardens。
〃I've read the book；〃 Jim said。 〃But she's curious。〃
With Jim； Holly returned to the main room and sat at the table f from the desk。 With the book between them； they read the first two chapters。
She kept touching him…his hand； shoulder； knee…gentling him。
Somehow she had to hold him together long enough for him to learn the truth and be healed by it； and the only glue she could think of was love。 She had convinced herself that each small expression of love…each touch； smile； affectionate look or word…was a bonding agent that prevented him from shattering pletely。
The novel was well and engagingly written。 But what it revealed about Jim Ironheart's life was so astonishing that Holly began to skim and spot read； whispering passages to him； urgently seeking the next startling revelation。
The lead character was named Jim； not Ironheart but Jamison。 Jim Jamison lived on a farm that had a pond and an old windmill。 The mill was supposedly haunted； but after witnessing a number of spooky incidents； Jim discovered that an alien presence； not a spirit； was quartered in a spacecraft under the pond and was manifesting itself in the mill。 It revealed itself to Jim as a soft light that glowed within the mill walls。
munication between Jim and the alien was achieved with the use of two lined； yellow tablets…one for Jim's questions； and one for the alien's answers； which appeared as if by magic。 According to the extraterrestrial； it was a being of pure energy and was on earth 〃TO OBSERVE； TO STUDY； TO HELP MANKIND。〃 It referred to itself as THE FRIEND。
Marking her place with a finger； Holly flipped through the rest of the book to see if The Friend continued to use the awkward tablets for munication all the way to the end。 It did。 In the story on which Jim Ironheart had based his fantasy； the alien never vocalized。
〃Which is why you doubted that your alien could vocalize and why you resisted my suggestion that we refuse to play along with the tablet system。〃
Jim was beyond denial now。 He stared at the book with wonder。
His response gave Holly hope for him。 In the cemetery； he had been in such distress； his eyes so cold and bleak； that she had begun to doubt if； indeed； he could turn his phenomenal power inward to heal himself And in the park； for one terrible moment； she had thought that his fragile shell of sanity would crack and spill the yolk of madness。
But he had held to