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so； but his condition seemed to be worsening with startling speed。 The pain took a long time to pass。
When he confronted his reflection in the mirror again； he said； 〃You're not even loyal to your own self； you asshole。 You're killing yourself； working yourself to death； and you can't stop。 Not loyal to Karen； not loyal to yourself。 Not really loyal to your country or the Agency； when it es right down to it。 Hell； the only thing you're totally and unswervingly mitted to is your old man's crackpot vision of life as a tightrope walk。〃
Crackpot。
That word seemed to reverberate in the bathroom long after he'd spoken it。 He had loved and respected his father； had never said a word against him。 Yet today he had admitted to Cliff that his dad had been 〃impossible。〃 And now…crackpot vision。 He still loved his dad and always would。 But he was beginning to wonder if a son could love a father and； at the same time； pletely reject his father's teachings。
A year ago； a month ago； even a few days ago； he would have said it was impossible to hold fast to that love and still be his own man。 But now； by God； it seemed not only possible but essential that he separate his love for his father from his adherence to his father's workaholic code。
What's happening to me？ he wondered。
Freedom？ Freedom； at last； at forty…five？
Squinting into the mirror； he said； 〃Almost forty…six。〃
NINE
1
Sunday； Travis noted that Einstein still had less of an appetite than usual； but by Monday； November 29； the retriever seemed fine。 On Monday and Tuesday； Einstein finished every scrap of his meals； and he read new books。 He sneezed only once and did not cough at all。 He drank more water than in the past； though not an excessive amount。 If he seemed to spend more time by the fireplace； if he padded through the house less energetically 。 。 。 well； winter was swiftly settling upon them； and animals' behavior changed with the seasons。
At a bookstore in Carmel； Nora bought a copy of The Dog Owner's Home Veterinary Handbook。 She spent a few hours at the kitchen table； reading； researching the possible meanings of Einstein's symptoms。 She discovered that listlessness； partial loss of appetite； sneezing； coughing； and unusual thirst could signify a hundred ailments…or mean nothing at all。 〃About the only thing it couldn't be is a cold；〃 she said。 〃Dogs don't get colds like we do。〃 But by the time she got the book； Einstein's symptoms had diminished to such an extent that she decided he was probably perfectly healthy。
In the pantry off the kitchen； Einstein used the Scrabble tiles to tell them：
FIT AS A FIDDLE。
Stooping beside the dog； stroking him； Travis said； 〃I guess you ought to know better than anyone。〃
WHY SAY FIT AS A FIDDLE？
Replacing the tiles in their Lucite tubes； Travis said； 〃Well； because it means…healthy。〃
BUT WHY DOES IT MEAN HEALTHY？
Travis thought about the metaphor…fit as a fiddle…and realized he was not sure why it meant what it did。 He asked Nora； and she came to the pantry door； but she had no explanation for the phrase； either。
Pawing out more letters； pushing them around with his nose； the retriever asked： WHY SAY SOUND AS A DOLLAR？
〃Sound as a dollar…meaning healthy or reliable；〃 Travis said。
Stooping beside them； speaking to the dog； Nora said； 〃That one's easier。 The United States dollar was once the soundest； most stable currency in the World。 Still is； I suppose。 For decades； there was no terrible inflation in the dollar like in some other currencies； no reason to lose faith in it； so folks
said； 'I'm as sound as a dollar。' Of course； the dollar isn't what it once was； and the phrase isn't as fitting as it used to be； but we still use it。〃
WHY STILL USE IT？
〃Because 。 。 。 we've always used it；〃 Nora said； shrugging。
WHY SAY HEALTHY AS A HORSE？ HORSES NEVER SICK？
Gathering up the tiles and sorting them back into their tubes； Travis said； 〃No； in fact； horses are fairly delicate animals in spite of their size。 They get sick pretty easily。〃
Einstein looked expectantly from Travis to Nora。
Nora said； 〃We probably say we're healthy as a horse because horses look strong and seem like they shouldn't ever get sick； even though they get sick all the time。〃
〃Face it；〃 Travis told the dog； 〃we humans say things all the time that don't make sense。〃
Pumping the letter…dispensing pedals with his paw； the retriever told them：
YOU ARE A STRANGE PEOPLE。
Travis looked at Nora； and they both laughed。
Beneath YOU ARE A STRANGE PEOPLE； the retriever spelled： BUT I LIKE YOU ANYWAY。
Einstein's inquisitiveness and sense of humor seemed； more than anything else； to indicate that； if he had been mildly ill； he was now recovered。
That was Tuesday。
On Wednesday； December 1； while Nora painted in her second…floor studio； Travis devoted the day to inspecting his security system and to routine weapons maintenance。
In every room； a firearm was carefully concealed under furniture or behind a drape or in a closet； but always within easy reach。 They owned two Mossberg pistol…grip shotguns； four Smith & Wesson Model 19 bat Magnums loaded with 。357s； two 。38 pistols that they carried with them in the pickup and Toyota； an Uzi carbine； two Uzi pistols。 They could have obtained their entire arsenal legally； from a local gun shop； once they purchased a house and established residence in the county； but Travis had not been willing to wait that long。 He had wanted to have the weapons on the first night they settled into their new home； therefore； through Van Dyne in San Francisco； he and Nora had located an illegal arms salesman and had acquired what they needed。 Of course； they could not have bought conversion kits for the Uzis from a licensed gun dealer。 But they were able to purchase three such kits in San Francisco； and now the Uzi carbine and pistols were fully automatic。
Travis moved from room to room； checking that the weapons were properly positioned； that they were free of dust； that they did not need to be oiled； and that their magazines were fully loaded。 He knew that everything would be in order； but he just felt more fortable if he conducted this inspection once a week。 Though he had been out of uniform for many years； the old military training and methodology were still a part of him； and under pressure they surfaced more quickly than he had expected。
Taking a Mossberg with them； he and Einstein also walked around the
house； stopping at each of the small infrared sensors that were； as much as possible； placed inconspicuously against backdrops of rocks or plants； snug against the trunks of a few trees； at the corners of the house； and beside an old rotting pine stump at the edge of the driveway。 He had bought the ponents on the open market； from an electronics dealer in San Francisco。 It was dated stuff； not at all state…of…the…art security technology； but he chose it because he was familiar with it from his days in Delta Force； and it was good enough for his purposes。 Lines from the sensors ran underground； to an alarm box in one of the kitchen cupboards。 When the system was switched on at night； nothing larger than a raccoon could e within thirty feet