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ed to breach his defense； he drove it back with curses。
But Saturday morning came； and still he could not silence the dread which made his hands shake。
Then at last he decided to risk going among his fellow human beings once more。 He needed their actuality； their affirmation of the reality he understood； even their revulsion toward his illness。 He knew of no other antidote to delusion； he could no longer face his dilemma alone。
TWO： Halfhand
BUT that decision itself was full of fear； and he did not act on it until evening。 He spent most of the day cleaning his house as if he did not expect to return to it。 Then； late in the afternoon； he shaved with the electric razor and showered meticulously。 For the sake of prudence； he put on a tough pair of jeans； and laced his feet into heavy boots； but over his T…shirt he wore a dress shirt； tie； and sports coat； so that the informality of his jeans and boots would not be held against him。 His wallet…generally so useless to him that he did not carry it…he placed in his coat pocket。 And into a pocket of his trousers he stuffed a small； sharp penknife…a knife which he habitually took with him in case he lost control of his defensive concentration； and needed something dangerous to help him refocus himself。 Finally； as the sun was setting； he walked down his long driveway to the road； where he extended his thumb to hitch a ride away from town。
The next place down the road was ten miles from Haven Farm； and it was bigger than the town where he had had his accident。 He headed for it because he was less likely to be recognized there。 But his first problem was to find a safe ride。 If any of the local motorists spotted him； he was in trouble from the beginning。
In the first few minutes； three cars went by without stopping。 The occupants stared at him in passing as if he were some kind of minor freak； but none of the drivers slowed down。 Then； as the last sunlight faded into dusk； a large truck came toward him。 He waved his thumb； and the truck rode to a halt just past him on the loud hissing of air brakes。 He climbed up to the door； and was gestured into the cab by the driver。
The man was chewing over a black stubby cigar； and the air in the cab was thick with smoke。 But through the dull haze； Covenant could see that he was big and burly； with a distended paunch； and one heavy arm that moved over the steering wheel like a piston； turning the truck easily。 He had only that one arm； his right sleeve was empty； and pinned to his shoulder。 Covenant understood dismemberment； and he felt a pang of sympathy for the driver。
〃Where to； buddy？〃 the big man asked fortably。
Covenant told him。
〃No problem；〃 he responded to a tentative inflection in Covenant's tone。 〃I'm going right through there。〃 As the automatic transmission whined upward through。 its gears； he spat his cigar out the window； then let go of the wheel to unwrap and light a new smoke。 While his hand was busy； he braced the wheel with his belly。 The green light of the instrument panel did not reach his face； but the glow of the cigar coal illuminated massive features whenever he inhaled。 In the surging red； his face looked like a pile of boulders。
With his new smoke going； he rested his arm on the wheel like a sphinx； and abruptly began talking。 He had something on his mind。
〃You live around here？〃
Covenant said nonmittally； 〃Yes〃
〃How long？ You know the people？〃
〃After a fashion。〃
〃You know this leper…this Thomas something…or…other Thomas Covenant？〃
Covenant flinched in the gloom of the cab。 To disguise his distress； he shifted his position on the seat。 Awkwardly； he asked； 〃What's your interest？〃
〃Me？ I got no interest。 Just passing through…hauling my ass where they give me a load to go。 I never even been around here before。 But where I et at back in town I heard talk about this guy。 So I ask the broad at the counter； and she damn near yaks my ear off。 One question…and I get instant mouth with everything I eat。 You know what a leper is？〃
Covenant squirmed。 〃After a fashion。〃
〃Well； it's a mess； let me tell you。 My old lady reads about this stuff all the time in the Bible。 Dirty beggars。 Unclean。 I didn't know there was creeps like that in America。 But that's what we're ing to。 You know what I think？〃
〃What do you think？〃 Covenant asked dimly。
〃I think them lepers ought to leave decent folks alone。 Like that broad at the counter。 She's okay； even with that motor mouth； but there she is； juiced to the gills on account of some sick bastard。 That Covenant guy ought to stop thinking of his self。 Other folks don't need that aggravation。 He ought to go away with every other leper and stick to his self； leave decent folks alone。 It's just selfishness； expecting ordinary guys like you and me to put up with that。 You know what I mean？〃
The cigar smoke in the cab was as thick as incense； and it made Covenant feel light…headed。 He kept shifting his weight； as if the falseness of his position gave him an unfortable seat。 But the talk and his vague vertigo made him feel vengeful。 For a moment； he forgot his sympathy。 He turned his wedding ring forcefully around his finger。 As they neared the city limits； he said； 〃I'm going to a nightclub just up the road here。 How about joining me for a drink？〃
Without hesitation； the trucker said； 〃Buddy； you're on。 I never pass up a free drink。〃
But they were still several stoplights from the club。 To fill the silence； and satisfy his curiosity； Covenant asked the driver what had happened to his arm。
〃Lost it in the war。〃 He brought the truck to a stop at a light while adjusting his cigar in his lips and steering with his paunch。 〃We was on patrol； and walked right into one of them antipersonnel mines。 Blew the squad to hell。 I had to crawl back to camp。 Took me two days…I sort of got unhinged； you know what I mean？ Didn't always know what I was doing。 Time I got to the doc； it was too late to save the arm。
〃What the hell； I don't need it。 Least my old lady says I don't…and she ought to know by now。〃 He chuckled。 〃Don't need no two arms for that。〃
Ingenuously； Covenant asked； 〃Did you have any trouble getting a license to drive this rig？〃
〃You kidding？ I can handle this baby better with my gut than you can with four arms and sober。〃 He grinned around his cigar； relishing his own humor。
The man's geniality touched Covenant。 Already he regretted his duplicity。 But shame always made him angry； stubborn…a leper's conditioned reflex。 When the truck was parked behind the nightclub； he pushed open the door of the cab and jumped to the ground as if he were in a hurry to get away from his panion。
Riding in the darkness； he had forgotten how far off the ground he was。 An instant of vertigo caught him。 He landed awkwardly； almost fell。 His feet felt nothing； but the jolt gave an added throb to the ache of his ankles。
Over his moment of dizziness； he heard the driver say； 〃You know； I figured you got a head start on the booze。〃
To avoid meeting the man's stony； speculative stare； Covenant went ahead of him around toward the front of the nightclub。
As he rounded the corner； Covenant nearly collided with a battered old man