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〃Start acting like one first。〃 I called out to Cal； 〃Get me a pair of handcuffs。〃
Kent pulled the 。38 Police Special out of his shoulder holster and shouted； 〃Okay！ Okay！ Watch this！〃 He put the revolver to his right temple and pulled the trigger。
CHAPTER THIRTY…SEVEN
The human eye can distinguish fifteen or sixteen shades of gray。 A puter image processor； analyzing a fingerprint； can distinguish two hundred fifty…six shades of gray； which is impressive。 More impressive； however； is the human heart； mind； and soul； which can distinguish an infinite number of emotional； psychological； and moral shadings； from the blackest of black to the whitest of white。 I've never seen either end of that spectrum； but I've seen a lot in between。
In truth； people are no more constant or absolute in their personalities than a chameleon is in terms of color。
The people here at Fort Hadley were no different from； no better or worse than； people I'd seen at a hundred other posts and installations around the world。 But Ann Campbell was most certainly different； and I try to imagine myself in conversations with her if I'd met her when she was alive； if； for instance； I'd been assigned to investigate what was going on here at Fort Hadley。 I think I would have recognized that I was not in the presence of a simple seductress； but in the presence of a unique； forceful； and driven personality。 I think； too； that I could have shown her that whatever hurts other people does not make her stronger； it only increases the misery quotient for everyone。
I don't think I would have wound up like Bill Kent； but I don't discount the possibility； and； therefore； I'm not judging Kent。 Kent judged himself； looked at what he had bee； was frightened to discover that another personality lurked inside his neat； orderly mind； and he blew it out。
The hangar was filled with MPs now； and FBI men； medical personnel； plus the forensic people who had remained behind at Fort Hadley and who had thought they were almost finished with this place。
I said to Cal Seiver； 〃After you're done with the body； get the carpet and furniture cleaned up and have all the household goods packed and shipped to the Campbells in Michigan。 They'll want their daughter's things。〃
〃Right。〃 He added； 〃I hate to say this； but he saved everybody but me a lot of trouble。〃
〃He was a good soldier。〃
I turned and walked the length of the hangar； past an FBI guy who was trying to get my attention； and out the door into the hot sun。
Karl and Cynthia were standing beside an ambulance； talking。 I walked past them toward my Blazer。 Karl came up to me and said； 〃I can't say I'm satisfied with this oute。〃
I didn't reply。
He said； 〃Cynthia seems to believe that you knew he was going to do that。〃
〃Karl； all that goes wrong is not my fault。〃
〃No one's blaming you。〃
〃Sounds like it。〃
〃Well； you might have anticipated it and gotten his gun…〃
〃Colonel； to be perfectly honest with you； not only did I anticipate it； but I encouraged it。 I did a fucking head number on him。 She knows that and you know that。〃
He didn't acknowledge this because it was not what he wanted to hear or know。 It wasn't in the manual； but； in fact； giving a disgraced officer the opportunity and encouragement to kill himself was historically a time…honored military tradition in many armies of the world but never caught on in this Army and has fallen out of favor nearly everywhere。 Yet； the idea； the possibility； permeates the subconscious of every officer corps who are linked by mon attitudes and overblown feelings of honor。 Given my choice of a court…martial for rape； murder； and sexual misconduct that I knew I couldn't beat； or taking the 。38…caliber easy way out； I might just consider the easy way。 But I couldn't picture myself in Bill Kent's situation。 Then again； neither could Bill Kent a few months ago。
Karl was saying something； but I wasn't listening。 Finally； I heard him say； 〃Cynthia's very upset。 She's still shaking。〃
〃es with the job。〃 In fact； it's not every day that someone blows his brains out right in front of you。 Kent should have excused himself and gone into the men's room to do it。 Instead； he splattered his brains； skull； and blood all over the place； and Cynthia caught a little of it on her face。 I said to Karl； 〃I've been splattered in 'Nam。〃 In fact； once I'd gotten hit in the head by a head。 I added； helpfully； 〃It washes off with soap。〃
Karl looked angry。 He snapped； 〃Mister Brenner； you're not funny。〃
〃May I go？〃
〃Please do。〃
I turned and opened my car door； then said to Karl； 〃Please tell Ms。 Sunhill that her husband called this morning； and he wants her to call him back。〃 I got into the Blazer； started it； and drove off。
Within fifteen minutes； I was back at the VOQ。 I got out of my uniform； noticing a spot of gore on my shirt。 I undressed； washed my face and hands； and changed into a sports coat and slacks； then gathered up my things； which Cynthia had laid out。 I gave the room a last look and carried my luggage downstairs。
I checked out； paying a modest charge for maid and linen service； but I had to sign an acknowledgment…of…damage slip regarding my writing on the wall。 I'd be billed later。 I love the Army。 The CQ helped me put the bags in my Blazer。 He asked me； 〃Did you solve the case？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃Who did it？〃
〃Everybody。〃 I threw the last bag in the back； closed the hatch； and got in the driver's seat。 The CQ asked me； 〃Is Ms。 Sunhill checking out？〃
〃Don't know。〃
〃Do you want to leave a forwarding address for mail？〃
〃Nope。 No one knows I'm here。 Just visiting。〃 I put the Blazer in gear and headed out through main post； north to the MP gate； and out onto Victory Drive。
I drove past Ann Campbell's town…house plex； then reached the interstate and got on the northbound entrance。 I put a Willie Nelson tape in the deck； sat back； and drove。 I would be in Virginia before dawn； and I could catch a morning military flight out of Andrews Air Force Base。 It didn't matter where the flight was going； as long as it was out of the continental United States。
My time in the Army had e to an end； and that was okay。 I knew that before I'd even gotten to Fort Hadley。 I had no regrets； no hesitation； and no bitterness。 We serve to the best of our ability； and if we bee incapable of serving； or bee redundant； then we leave； or； if we're dense； we're asked to leave。 No hard feelings。 The mission es first； and everyone and everything are subordinate to the mission。 Says so in the manual。
I suppose I should have said something to Cynthia before I left； but no one was going to benefit from that。 Military life is transient； people e and go； and relationships of all kinds； no matter how close and intense； are understood to be temporary。 Rather than good…bye； people tend to say； 〃See you down the road；〃 or 〃Catch you later。〃
This time； however； I was leaving for good。 In a way； I felt that it was appropriate for me to leave now； to put away my sword and armor； which were getting a little rusty anyway； not to mention heavy。 I had entered the service at the height of the cold war； at a time when the Army was engaged in a massive land war