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ring…do get him back his driver's license？
Who knows？
Who cares？
It took me three viewings to get the plot down； anyway。 Because Dick Contino held me spellbound。 Because I knew instinctivelythat he held important answers。 Because I knew that he hovered elliptically in my L。A。…in…the…'5os novels； a phantom waiting to speak。
Contino onscreen： a handsome Italian guy； late twenties； big biceps from weights or making love to his accordion。 Dreamboat attributes： shiny teeth； dark； curly hair； engaging smile。 He looks good； and he can sing； he's straining on 〃Rock Candy Baby〃the lyrics suck； and you can tell this up…tempo rebop isn't his style but he croons the wah…wah ballad 〃Angel Act〃 achingly； full of baritone tremolos； quintessentially the pussy…whipped loser in lust with the 〃noir〃 goddess who's out to trash his life。
The man oozes charisma。
He's the flip side； subtext and missing link between my conscious and unconscious fixations。
I decided to find Dick Contino。
I located a half…dozen of his albums and listened to them； reveling in pure 〃Entertainment〃。
〃Live at the Fabulous Flamingo；〃 〃Squeeze Me；〃 〃Something for the Girls〃standards arranged to spotlight accordion virtuosity。 Main…theme bombardments； sentiment so pure and timeless that it could sound…track every moment of transcendent schmaltz that Hollywood has ever produced。 Dick Contino； showstopper on wax： tapping two keyboards； improvising cadenzas； shaking thunderstorms from bellows pression。 Going from whisper to sigh to roar and back again in the length of time it takes to think： Tell me what this man's life means and how it connects to my life。 I called my researcher friend Alan Marks。 He caught my pitch on the first bounce。 〃The accordion guy？ I think he used to play Vegas。〃
〃Find out everything you can about him。 Find out if he's still alive； and if he is； locate him。〃
〃What's this about？〃
〃Narrative detail。〃
I should have said 〃containable〃 narrative detailbecause I wanted Dick Contino to be a pad…prowling/car…crashing/moonhowling/womanizing quasi…psychopath akin to the heroes of my books。 I should have said； 〃Bring me information that I can control and exploit。〃 I should have said； 〃Bring me a life that can be partmentalized into the pitch…dark vision of my first ten novels。〃
〃What is not brought to consciousness es to us as fate。〃
I should have seen the 〃real〃 Dick Contino ing。
Richard Joseph Contino was born in Fresno； California； on January 17； 1930。 His father was a Sicilian immigrant who owned a successful butcher shop； his mother was first…generation Italian American。 Dick had two younger brothers and a sister； a maternal uncle； Ralph Giordano； a。k。a。 Young Corbett； was a former professional welterweight fighter。
The family was tight…knit； Catholic。 Dick grew up shy； beset by wicked bad fears： the kind you recognize as irrational even as they rip you up。
Athletics and music allowed him to front a fearless persona。 High…school fullback； five years of accordion studygood with the pigskin； superb with the squeeze box。 Dick Contino； age i ready for a hot date with history； a strapping six…foot gavonne with his fears held in check by a smile。
Horace Heidt was passing through Fresno looking for amateur talent。 His 〃Youth Opportunity〃 radio program was about to debut yet another studio…audience/applause…meter show； three contestants peting for weekly prize money and the chance to sing； play； dance； or clown their way through to the grand finals； a five…thou payoff and a dubious shot at fame。 One of Heidt's flunkies had heard about Dick and had arranged an audition； Dick wowed him with a keyboard…zipping/bellows…shaking/mikestandbumping medley。 The flunky told Horace Heidt： 〃You've got to see this kid。 I know the accordion's from Squaresville； but you've got to see this kid。〃
December 7； 1947： Horace Heidt slotted Dick Contino on his first radio contest。 Dick played 〃Lady of Spain；〃 〃Tico…Tico；〃 and 〃Bumble Boogie〃 and burned the house down。 He won 250； horny bobby…soxers swarmed him backstage。 Horace Heidt hit first…strike pay dirt。
Dick Contino continued to win： week after week； traveling with the Heidt show； defeating singers； dancers； trombone players； ics； and a blind vibraphonist。 He won straight through to the grand finals in December '48； he became a national celebrity while still technically an amateur contestant。
He now had 500 fan clubs nationwideand averaged 5；000 fan letters a week。
Teenage girls thronged his appearances； chanting 〃Dick…kie Cont…ino； we love you〃 to the tune of 〃Lady of Spain。〃
Horace Heidt said years later； 〃You should have seen Dick play。 If my show had been on television； Dick Contino would have been bigger than Elvis Presley。〃
A Heidt tour followed the grand…finals victory。 Other performers appeared with Continocrypto lounge acts backstopping the newly anointed 〃Mr。 Accordion。〃 Heidt had his cash cow yoked to a punk twenty…five…grand…a…year； seven…year contract； Dick sued him and cut himself loose。 Mr。 Accordion flying high： record contracts； screen tests； top…liner status at the BIG ROOMS Ciro's and the Mocambo in L。A。； the El Rancho Vegas； the Chez Paree in Chicago。 Dick Contino； age 19； 20； 21： soaking up the spoils of momentum； making the Squaresville accordion hip； unaware that public love is ephemeral。 Too callow to know that idols who admit their fear will fall。
Nineteen fifty…one： the Korean War heating up。 Dick Contino goes from 〃Valentino of the Accordion〃 to draft bait。 A selectiveservice notice arrives； he begs off his army induction； citing minor physical maladies。 He's scared； but not of losing his BIG…ROOM status； big paydays； and big poontang potential。
He's scared of all the baaad juju that could happen to you； might happen to you； 〃will〃 happen to youshit like blindness； cancer； passing out onstage； your dog getting dognapped by vivisectionists。 The army loomsclaustrophobia ing on like a steam…heated shroud。 FearBIG…ROOM fearcrazy stuff； bigtime diffuse。 Crazy stuff he might have outgrown if he hadn't been too busy on the Heartthrob Tour； jump…starting adolescent libidos。
Fear owned him now。
Three army psychiatrists examined him at the induction center and declared him psychologically unfit。 The assessment letter was 〃lost〃； Richard Contino was processed in anyway。
April 195 iFort Ord； California。 Dick's fear bees panic he bolts the reception…station barracks and catches a bus to San Francisco。 Now AWOL and a federal fugitive； he trains down to his parents' new house outside L。A。 He confers with friends and a lawyer； gets up some guts； and turns himself in to the Feds。
The incident got front…page publicity。 The papers harped on the BIG…ROOM pay Dick Contino would be giving up if forced to serve as an army private。 Dick's response： Then take away my accordion for five years。
The Feds didn't buy it。 Dick Contino went to trial for desertion； he fought his case with psychiatric testimony。 Fear on trial； fear convictedthe judge hit Dick Contino with a 10；000 fine and six months in the federal joint at McNeil Island； Washington。
He did five months of the sentence； shaving four weeks