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I asked him if something like the Rainy Night Friend was legal。
〃I'm not a lawyer so I couldn't tell you for sure；〃 Roger said。 〃My impression is that a woman who uses a tear…gas pen on a potential mugger or rapist is in a gray area。 But Sandra's toy； loaded up with a Mace hybrid。 。 。 no； I don't think something like that can be kosher。〃
〃But she's got it； and she's carrying it；〃 I said。
〃Not only that； but she seems fairly calm about it all；〃 Roger agreed。 〃Funny…she was the one who was so scared when the General was sending his poison pen letters； and Herb hardly seemed aware any of it was going on。 。 。 at least until the bus driver got stabbed。 I think what freaked Sandra out before was that she'd never seen him。〃
〃Yes；〃 I said。 〃She even told me that once。〃
He paid the tab； waving away my offer to pay my half。 〃It's the revenge of the flower…people；〃 he said。 〃First Detweiller； the mad gardener from Central Falls； and then Hecksler； the mad gardener from Oak Cove。〃
That gave me what the British mystery writers like to call a nasty start…talk about not making obvious connections！ Roger； who is far from being anyone's fool； saw my expression and smiled。
〃Didn't think of that； did you？〃 he asked。 〃It's just a coincidence； of course； but I guess it was enough to set off a little paranoid chime in Herb Porter's head…I can't imagine him getting so fashed otherwise。 We could have the basis of a good Robert Ludlum novel here。 The Horticultural Somethingor…Other。 e on； let's get out of here。〃
〃Convergence；〃 I said as we hit the street。
〃Huh？〃 Roger looked like someone ing back from a million miles away。
〃The Horticultural Convergence；〃 I said。 〃The perfect Ludlum title。 Even the perfect Ludlum plot。 It turns out； see； that Detweiller and Hecksler are actually brothers…no； considering the ages； I guess father and son would be better…in the pay of the NKVD。 And…〃
〃I've got to catch my bus； John；〃 he said； not unkindly。 Well； I have my problems； dear Ruth （who knows better than you？）； but realizing when I'm being a bore has never been one of them （except when I'm drunk）。 I saw him down to the bus stop and headed home。
The last thing he said was that the next we heard of General Hecksler would probably be a report of his capture。 。 。 or his suicide。 And Herb Porter would be disappointed as well as relieved。
〃It isn't General Hecksler Herb and the rest of us have to be worried about；〃 he said…his little burst of good humor had left him and he looked slumped and small； standing there at the bus stop with his hands jammed into the pockets of his trenchcoat。 〃It's Harlow Enders and the rest of the accountants who are going to get us。 They'll stab us with their red pencils。 When I think about Enders； I almost wish I had Sandra Jackson's Rainy Night Friend。〃
No progress on my novel this week…looking back over this epistle I see why…all this narrative that should have gone into Maymonth tonight went ended up here instead。 But if I went on too long and in too much novelistic detail； don't chalk it all up to prolixity； my dear…over the last six months or so I have bee a genuine Lonely Guy。 Writing to you isn't as good as talking to you； and talking to you isn't as good as seeing you； and seeing you isn't as good as touching you and being with you （steam…steam！ pant…pant！）； but a person has to make do with what he has。 I know you're busy； studying hard； but going so long without talking to you has got me sorta crazy （and on top of Detweiller and Hecksler； more crazy I do not need to be）。 I love you； my dear。
Missing you； needing you；
John
March 9； 1981 Mr。 Herbert Porter Designated Jew Zenith House 490 Park Avenue New York； NY 10017
Dear Designated Jew；
Did you think I had forgotten you？ I bet you did。 Well； I didn't。 A man doesn't forget the thief who rejected his book after stealing all of the good parts。 And how you tried to discredit me。 I wonder how you will look with your penis in your ear。 Ha…ha。 （But not a joke）
I am ing for you； 〃big boy。〃
Major General Anthony R。 Hecksler （Ret。）
P。 S。 Roses are red。
Violets are blue。
I am ing to castrate。
A Designated Jew。
M。 G。 A。 R。 H。 （Ret。）
MAILGRAM FROM MR。 JOHN KENTON TO RUTH TANAKA
MS。 RUTH TANAKA 10411 CRESCENT BOULEVARD LOS ANGELES； CA 90024
MARCH 10； 1981
DEAR RUTH
THIS IS PROBABLY PRIMO STUPIDO BUT PARANOIA BEGETS PARANOIA AND I STILL CAN'T RAISE YOU。 FINALLY GOT PAST THAT BLANK…BLANK ANSWERING MACHINE THIS MORNING TO YOUR ROOMMATE WHO SAID SHE HADN'T SEEN YOU LAST TWO DAYS。 SHE SOUNDED FUNNY。 I HOPE ONLY STONED。 CALL ME SOONEST OR I'LL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR THIS WEEKEND。 LOVE YOU。
JOHN
March 10； 1981
Dear John；
I imagine…no； I know…you must be wondering why you haven't heard from me much over the last three weeks。 The reason is simple enough； I've been feeling guilty。 And the reason I am writing now instead of calling is that I am a coward。 Also I think； although you may not believe me when you read the rest of this； which is the hardest letter I've ever had to write； because I love you very much and want so much not to hurt you。 All the same I suppose this will hurt and knowing I can't help it makes me cry。
John； I've met a man named Toby Anderson and have fallen head over heels in love with him。 If it matters to youand it probably won't…I met him in one of the two English Restoration drama courses I'm taking。 I held him off as best as I could for a long time…I very much want and need you to believe that…but by mid…February I just couldn't hold him off any longer。 My arms got tired。
The last three weeks or so have been a nightmare for me。 I don't really expect you to sympathize with my position； but I hope you'll believe I am telling the truth。 Although you're on the east coast and I'm three thousand miles away on the west； I felt as if I were sneaking around on you。 And I was。 I was！ Oh； I don't mean in the sense that you might e home early from work one night and find me with Toby； but I felt terrible all the same。 I couldn't sleep； couldn't eat； couldn't do my yoga positions or the Jane Fonda Workout。 My grades were slipping； but to hell with the grades…my heart was slipping。
I've been ducking your calls because I couldn't bear to hear your voice…it seemed to bring it all home to me…how I was lying and cheating and leading you on。
It all came to a head two nights ago when Toby showed me the lovely diamond engagement ring he had bought for me。 He said he wanted me to have it and he hoped I wanted to take it； but he said he couldn't give it to me even if I did until I talked or wrote to you。 He's such an honorable man； John； and the irony is that under different circumstances I am sure you would like him very much。
I broke down and cried in his arms and before long his tears were mingled with mine。 The upshot of it all was me saying I would be ready for him to slip that gorgeous love…ring on my finger by the end of the week。 I think we are going to be married in June。
You see that in the end I took the coward's way out； writing instead o