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ty of tiresome but practical reasons that seemed valid to him； as king； but occasionally he had wondered； since that night； whether the intense psychic experience of reliving Janniver's ordeal would unman him when the time came for his own sexual initiation。 He had been taught to believe that rape and the act of love were as different as night and day； but until he knew for certain； from his own experience； his imagination sometimes inspired far more apprehension than confidence。
That Rothana had been the one to trigger that apprehension made Kelson even more wary where she was concerned…especially since it was her shadow…face and form that occasionally intruded； all unbidden； on the increasingly erotic fantasies that he； like most eighteen…year…old males； experienced in his dreams。 There were other faces； to be sure； but none whom he could identify as living； breathing women。
That only made the apprehension even more concrete； for Rothana was a living； breathing woman…and vowed to God。 Despite that avowal； something more frighteningly personal and intense than the violence of Janniver's rape had also surged across their brief psychic link。 Both of them had been denying it all winter； with only indifferent success； neither willing to admit or accept that the attraction was mutual。
〃Good afternoon。 Kelson；〃 Meraude said； she and both girls rising to make him dutiful curtsies as Kelson and his panions approached…though Rothana kept her dark eyes primly averted to the scroll she had been reading； as was seemly for a female religious in the presence of three virile young men just ing into their prime。 Janniver dared a glance at them； but she blushed prettily and retreated all in a fluster when Jatham eased a little closer to his masters side…and to her…and tried； unsuccessfully； to keep from smiling。
〃Why； Aunt Meraude； what a pleasant surprise；〃 Kelson said； suddenly aware of the chemistry between his soon…to…be ex…squire and the princess and making an effort to be courtly； despite the ache behind his eyes。 〃Pray； ladies； be seated。 I see that the spring sunshine has brought out the flowers。〃
His frankly appreciative survey of the three of them left no doubt that he was not talking about flowers that grew in the castle gardens beyond。
〃Why； here's a fair rose of Rhenndall；〃 he went on； with a bow flourished in Meraude's direction； 〃and Mary bells； to honor our Blessed Lady。〃 He gave restrained and proper salute to Rothana's pale blue habit。 〃And surely here is a golden jonquil。 Princess； unless I disremember all my lessons in botany。 Dhugal； have you ever seen fairer blossoms？ Or you； Jatham？〃
As a blushing Janniver ducked her head and fumbled for a hank of yarn in her embroidery basket； Jatham knelt to retrieve one that tumbled from her lap。
〃Never； Sire；〃 he breathed。 〃'Tis the loveliest bouquet that I have ever seen。〃
〃Why； my lords； you shall turn our heads with such flattery；〃 Meraude scolded； though she could not keep the mirth from her eyes。 〃Besides； 'tis far too early for most flowers。〃
〃But not too early；〃 Rothana said； lifting her eyes boldly to Kelson's； 〃to ask His Majesty about the greenery for the basilica tomorrow。 May I speak with you for a moment in private； Sire？〃 she continued； touching his sleeve as she brushed past to lead him away from the others。 〃Please to e into the next window with me and look into the garden； where I may point out what might be useful。 At this time of year； the possibilities are somewhat limited； but there are a few that might suit。 After all； it is not fitting that young men should keep their knight's vigil before an unadorned altar。〃
She had said all in a low voice； so that only he and their immediate pany could hear； but； by the time they were well into the next window bay； Kelson was certain that every eye in the hall must have turned to observe their withdrawal。 Nor were they safe from curious eyes in the garden itself。
〃e and pretend you are looking at the garden； my lord；〃 Rothana murmured； setting a finger against the glass and only watching him sidelong。 〃I have something I must ask you that could not be said before the others…though； with your head still smarting from the test of merasha； perhaps we should delay until another time。〃
Kelson swallowed nervously and moved closer； though he was careful not to touch her； dutifully pretending to follow the discourse she was not giving about flowers and such。
〃Did Meraude tell you that；〃 he asked； 〃or is it that apparent？〃
〃Why； both； my lord。 I should be dull…witted； indeed； if I should fail to recognize such aftereffects in one of our race。〃
〃I see。〃 He made himself draw a deep breath to steady out both the noted aftereffects and the effect she was having on him。
〃If you are too ill； we can delay； my lord；〃 she said quietly。 〃I would not increase your disfort。〃
〃If you know what I went through last night； then you know what it's costing me to function today…but； no； there's no need for delay。〃 He drew another deep breath。 〃What did you wish to ask me？〃
〃Very well； my lord。 It concerns your squire。 What can you tell me of him？〃
〃Jatham？〃
He knew immediately that her interest was in Janniver's behalf； for he had seen the Connaiti princess' reaction when his squire came into her presence； but even so； he felt a quick pang of alarm clench at his throat as he feared； just for an instant； that Rothana asked for her own sake。 Something of that fear must have slipped past his still unsteady shields； for suddenly she blinked and seemed to bite back a distressed smile； though she covered most of the reaction by turning deliberately to look out at the garden again。
〃Nay； do not look in his direction； my lord。 We are here to inspect the garden。 And pray； keep your voice down。 But you saw how he and Janniver looked at one another。 I can tell you that she is quite taken with him…and it seems there is a certain attraction on his part as well； though I suspect he believes himself too far beneath her ever to have his suit encouraged。 What is his lineage； if I may ask？〃
The question annoyed Kelson； perhaps because he had heard it asked all too often about potential royal brides。
〃Oh； e； my lord； he cannot be baseborn； or he could not be a royal squire；〃 Rothana murmured； her soft voice tinged with impatience。 〃Therefore； he must be of gentle； if not noble birth…and he will be Sir Jatham； e Tuesday； will he not？ And the accolade well deserved； from everything I hear。〃
Kelson snorted。 〃If you have heard all that； my lady； I wonder that you need to ask my counsel。〃
〃Oh； fie； that is but mon gossip around court； Sire！ I had hoped you might tell me more of the man。 I would see my little princess honorably wed…〃 Her face fell。 〃Or； is Jatham one of those men who would not deign to offer marriage to a ruined girl？〃
〃Ruined？〃 Kelson found himself saying； not a little defensively。 〃Isn't that a trifle harsh； my lady； and you her friend？〃
Rothana looked out at the garden again； dark eyes shuttered。
〃Pray； remember that there are others nearby； my lord。 The world is sometimes harsh。 And the harsh truth of this matter is that most men prefer their brides unsullied。 Kings and princes insist upon it。〃
〃This