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o catch much of what they said； and then； without warning； all of them withdrew； closing the door behind them。 As the bar fell into place。 Kelson conjured quick handfire and turned to Dhugal in question。
〃Now； what the devil was all that about？〃
Dhugal snorted。 〃You tell me。 I suppose they've gone off to deliberate our fate。 Mentioning Camber certainly seemed to get a rise out of them； though。 Do you think we ought to try to escape； or wait and see what happens next？〃
〃Let's wait and see；〃 Kelson replied。 〃Their reaction to Camber's name was far more positive than I expected； and I think they were talking about our Deryni auras when they mentioned 'holy fire。' That was positive； too； I think。 If I could have been more certain of that； earlier； I might have been able to make more of it。 I didn't want to tip our hand too soon； though； and get us killed。 These hill people can be very touchy。〃
〃You're telling that to a borderman？〃 Dhugal retorted with a grin。
Chuckling； Kelson sank down to sit on the floor； his back against the wall farthest from the door； shaking his head。 After a few seconds； Dhugal joined him。
〃At least you seem recovered；〃 Dhugal said； after a few more seconds。 〃Whatever happens now； at least we'll have a fighting chance。〃 '
Kelson nodded； laying his head back against the wall。 〃I have only you to thank for that；〃 he said。 〃I'd give a lot for a square meal； but otherwise； I haven't felt this good in longer than I care to remember。 How the hell did you do it？〃
〃I'd ask you which part you mean； the healing or the other； but whichever part you meant； I couldn't explain it anyway；〃 Dhugal replied。 〃The healing is…a miracle。 I had no idea what I was doing； but it worked anyway。 And that rapport was like nothing I'd ever even dreamed of； much less experienced。 I gather it was new for you； too。〃
〃I'll say。〃 Kelson's tone was light； but respect tinged it nonetheless。 〃I've gone deep before； Dhugal； with Alaric and even with Duncan； but never like this。 Maybe it was so intense because I'd already opened so much for the healing。 My powers are pletely restored…memories； too。 I feel as…as if everything was refined and honed to a keener edge…as if I could do almost anything。〃
〃I think I know what you mean；〃 Dhugal replied。 〃All the old barriers went down。 I can't tell you how I know； but I know that I never need to fear psychic contact again。 My shields are totally under my control。 It's as if what we did finished catalyzing what my father started that morning we found out what we were to one another。 If I ever had any doubts about my birthright as Deryni； they're gone now。〃
〃Aye； we're quite a team；〃 Kelson agreed。 〃A true brotherhood； like Alaric and your father。 I can't imagine ever feeling closer to anyone else； as long as I live。〃
〃Not even Rothana？〃 Dhugal asked； with a coy smile。
Kelson actually blushed in the light of his handfire and ducked his head as he clasped his hands between his upraised knees。
〃I suppose it's silly to be embarrassed； after what we've shared。 I was going to tell you； Dhugal…really； I was。〃
〃Well； you did。〃
〃Yes； but I hadn't meant it to be that way。 I do love her； though in a totally different way from what I thought I was beginning to feel for Sidana。 And even though Rothana and I haven't yet acplished what you and I just did； that will e。 I had a foretaste of it； that first time our minds touched。 But； I don't need to tell you that； do I？ You and I shared that； too。〃
Dhugal closed his eyes briefly and put that memory behind him； not eager to say what must next be said； but knowing it was necessary； for both their sakes。
〃Sometimes； there's such a thing as being too honest；〃 he said； leaning his head against the wall and looking beyond Kelson。 〃Believe me； I value what we've acplished； but I think we need to have our privacy as。 well…an area that's set apart from anyone。 My father does； for that part of him that's concerned with his priestly office。 I would never want or expect to be privy to the confidences of the confessional； for example； and I wouldn't dream of prying into the bond between him and Morgan。 I think the relationship between a man and his wife must be at least as sacred。〃
〃Well； I hardly think we need to be concerned about that yet。 It isn't as if Rothana and I have been intimate。〃
The awkwardness of Kelson's last words only underlined the uneasiness Dhugal himself was feeling； and he raised one eyebrow skeptically as he glanced at the king； glad for once that both he and Kelson were still virginal； at least in the physical sense。
〃Oh？ I suppose there was no intimacy in the taste she gave you of Janniver's rape？〃
〃I'll concede； that was intimate；〃 Kelson interjected； blushing to the roots of his hair。 〃That's different； though。〃
〃Ah。〃 Dhugal nodded。 〃Then； are we limiting this discussion to physical intimacy？ What about the two of you in the garden； the night before we left？〃
〃All I did was kiss her； Dhugal。〃
〃Oh？ That's not what I sensed； when that incident came through our rapport。〃 Dhugal replied； sending an echo of that shared memory back to Kelson； less intense than the original； but sparing no detail of physical sensation。 〃You would never have actually done it； Kel； being who and what you are； but your body was ready to take her； right then and there。 And you know she would have let you。 God knows I don't begrudge you that； but it's something that should be just between the two of you； just as the intimacy of that rapport about the rape should be private between you。〃
Kelson closed his eyes and buried his face in one hand as his body shivered in remembrance and he knew Dhugal was right。 Nor； even if it was fair to Rothana and himself； was it fair to subject Dhugal to such emotions； shared in the mind yet withheld in the flesh。 As he thought about their rapport； he realized that it had； indeed； been deeper than anything he had experienced before； and it only now became evident that there were some things too precious； too intimate； to be bared to another who was not a part of them； no matter how well beloved that other。
It came to him then that this explained why he had never had any inkling of the problems between Morgan and Richenda。 Morgan had sequestered that part of his life away； as a favor to Kelson as well as to Richenda…as； undoubtedly； there were things he did not share with Richenda。 Despite the depth of his friendship with Morgan…indeed； his love； and for Duncan and Dhugal as well…some things remained and should remain apart。
〃You're right；〃 the king said after a moment。 〃It's something I'm sure neither of us ever thought about before； but there does have to be a separateness； even in our closeness…in anyone's closeness。 I'm sure there will be things I ought not to share with Rothana； too； not necessarily things that I shouldn't tell her； but that she'd rather not know。 Ah； the innocence of youth； to think that total freedom is possible or even desirable。〃 He smiled resignedly as he looked up at Dhugal again。 〃Is that what you were trying to tell me？〃
Dhugal grinned and nodded； turning his gaze idly back to the door。 〃I think so。〃 He paused a moment； then went on。 〃When do you think they'll e for us？〃