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y to murder。 It had not been he who had put pressure on the missioner to sweep the Didion murder under the police blotter。 That had e all the way from Washington； D。C。 From Minck himself。
Cloak…and…dagger Minck； Croaker thought bitterly。 How many murders could he be held accountable for？ Angela Didion's was just one in a long line。 He felt deflated and saddened by the vast gray areas of the world； within one of which he now found himself。 It was a bog without form or substance； where direction became hazy before fading out altogether。 Where to go now that Angela Didion's murderer was beyond him？ For he knew without doubt that he could never touch Minck on this charge or any other。 He was defeated。
Sunshine hit them like a fist on the Manhattan side of the tunnel； bouncing off the hood like a starblaze。 Croaker headed right； toward Thirty…fourth Street； where he turned left for several long blocks； then right after the light changed； heading downtown on Second Avenue。 The city beckoned them with grimy fingers。
Anger bubbled inside him； turned without his knowing on Alix。 Women's motivations were so opaque to him。 He wished to God she had told him all this days before…although what he would have done differently he did not know。 They still had to make the trip out of there。 Damn it； damn it； damn it！
She touched his arm and he glanced at her。 〃I'm sorry for what I said before。 I know none of this's your fault。〃 She ran tanned fingers through her hair。 〃I couldn't stand it down there anymore； it was like prison…worse in some ways。 At least in prison I imagine you know where you stand。 In Key West； surrounded by those two； I didn't know what to expect next。 Would Minck continue to e？ Would his feelings fade？ Would one of them kill me then？
〃It began to feel like there was a balloon inside my head and each day it was being filled with more air。 Soon there'd be more balloon than brain and then I wouldn't be able to think at all。〃 She gave a little strangled laugh。 〃Silly； isn't it？〃
〃No；〃 Croaker said softly； 〃it isn't。〃 It was remarkable how she could defuse his rage so utterly。 She had only to touch him； to turn those eyes on him； to whisper softly； and all the blackness curled like ash inside him。
She gave a little sigh； as if it had been extremely important that he corroborate her feelings。 〃I wanted to tell you all of it right away； Lew。 It's important that you believe that。〃
〃I do。〃
Her head was turned sideways toward him。 〃Not just say it。〃
〃I don't say anything idly； Alix。〃
She seemed to accept that。 〃I was in shock； you were such a… oh； I don't know…a bolt out of the blue。〃
〃A knight in shining armor。〃
It was a joke； but she did not take it that way。 〃Oh； yes。 I wanted to believe that very much。 But I was afraid to。 It was almost like you were too good to be true。 I had been involved with this for so long…all this knowledge inside my head like a time bomb with a hair trigger。
〃I felt like I had when I was younger； and； you know； I was the prettiest girl in my class by far…oh； don't think me big…headed； you only needed a mirror to see it。 Boys buzzing around me like bees。 At first I reveled in it。 What girl wouldn't？
〃But then； as I got to know them； as I went through them one by one； as brief boyfriends； just dating and doing； you know； kid things； I'd always get to a point when I'd suddenly realize why they wanted to date me。 They weren't interested in talking； in getting to know me。 They loved being seen with me and； after a time； trying to slip a hand underneath my dress。 They were hard all the time； it was the only thing they thought of。
〃For a while it made me hate my beauty。 It was as if I had thick ankles or a long nose or was flatchested。〃
She put her hand on him。 〃It was the same with you； Lew。 Why were you there； I asked myself？ What was it you really wanted from me？〃 She laughed again。 〃It even occurred to me that Minck had sent you to test me； but I soon realized that was really crazy…you killed both his men。〃
〃Do you care about him？〃 It wasn't an idle question； in the future it might bee a key bit of knowledge for Croaker to have； like an extra shield or a mace held behind his back。 Because he had already e to a decision。 There was only one thing left for him to do after all。
〃How can I answer that？〃 Alix said as they pulled up outside an apartment house in the Twenties。 〃The affair has been taking place in limbo or outer space。 I don't have any signposts to use as reference points。〃 She turned away。 〃I wouldn't've gone to bed with him if I hadn't felt。。。 something。 I'm not at all like Angela was。 Yet I haven't a clue what it was I felt。 It's almost as if by having sex with him…by establishing a link that was physical as well as； oh； what should I call it； psychic； I suppose？〃 She shrugged。
〃Not emotional？〃
〃It's possible； but I don't think so。 I have some small perspective on it now。 I think I felt that by establishing this link with my…well he was my jailor； really； wasn't he…I'd somehow be less of a prisoner。〃
〃But it didn't work out that way。〃
The curl of a smile。 〃Do you really think it could have？〃
〃No。〃
〃Of course not。 It was stupid of me； really。 I never should have trusted someone like that in the first place。 But my God； Lew； 1 was so desperate。 It was just crushing me inside。 I felt…〃
Alix screamed as the explosive bullet burst through the side window； tore off three…quarters of the top of the sedan。 Croaker had already been moving； pulling her toward him； covering her upper torso and head with his bulk。
At the same time his gun was drawn。 But another shot rocked the car on its shocks； a great fist reaching out from the void； exploding layers of chrome； steel； aluminum； and plastic。 Safety glass webbed and pebbled； fluttering down over them as gently as doves' wings。
Croaker could smell smoke。 There was no rear door left on his side； not much top over their heads； either。 He leaned forward； making Alix squeal with the pressure； and jerked down the handle of the door on her side。 Pushed with the flat of his free hand； rolled her out onto the sidewalk like a sack of potatoes。
He turned off the ignition but the third shot had already hit the car； ripping through metal into the gas tank。 There was a dull thud like a dropped bowling ball。 Flames licked up； and a curl of oily smoke made him cough。
Croaker turned toward the direction from which the shots were being fired。 But he had no vantage point； could move very little； and the smoke was being denser。 He heard sirens rising and falling； loudening。 ing this way。
He got out the same way Alix had and； taking her hand； began to run。 He ignored the entrance to Matty the Mouth's building as if it had no significance for him。
They hurled down Second Avenue； passing a Police Emergency Squad wagon； a fire truck； and a pair of blue…and…whites； all heading the wrong way up Second。 Horns blared； traffic snarled。 People stood and stared； then began to drift toward the scene。 Within moments a good…sized crowd had formed。
Watching the flow of people； Tanya Vladimova cursed herself for firing prematurely。 But she had not known how long they were stopped for。 Further； just te