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her inner muscles。 The resulting contractions caused far less friction than if he were stroking into her。 He would last longer though he was on the verge of orgasm when he entered her。
Akiko watched his face； feeling her emotions soaring not only from the liquid erotic contact but from what was written across his features。 She reveled in the pleasure she was giving him； the banishment at least temporarily of the kami that haunted him day and night。
Sweat froze along their backs； riming them； making them into creatures of the winter countryside。 Where they made contact their bodies were slick with juices as if hot oil had been poured between them。
Akiko's eyes lost focus and she found her mind wandering as if in a dream。 She was close herself。 She made herself focus on Saigo。 He was past seeing or hearing anything。 His hard； lean body surged continually against her in minute ripples。 Cords stood out along the sides of his neck and his teeth were gritted hard in his effort to continue the ecstasy。 But he could not。
〃Ohh； yes！〃 she cried； beside herself； biting his neck as she； too； lost herself in pleasure。
For a long time afterward he did not seem his old self。 Remnants of what he had been； lost in her embrace； continued to hold sway like beautifully architectured ruins on a bloody battlefield。
He continued to cling to her； his breathing taking an unaccountably long time to return to normal。 Even when they both became chilly and were forced to don clothing he did not wish to be apart。
Once； he began to weep silent tears。 When she asked him what troubled him； he said； 〃I was remembering that bamboo we passed earlier。 Oh； how I wish I could be like that tree； so resilient； so able to free itself of the greatest burden！〃
But then； slowly； he returned to the Saigo she had known and； at length； they sat apart； not even their shoulders or hands touching。 It seemed to Akiko that in some strange way he had bee embarrassed by what they had done here； as if he had allowed himself to transgress against internal rules only he was aware of。 She wished she could say that it was only the tears of which he was ashamed； but she feared that was not so。
It seemed to her that he was regretting the fact that he possessed emotions and needs just like every other human being。 Akiko had been around him long enough to understand that Saigo had built for himself the concept of his own separatism from the entire human race。
If he believed in a god at all； it was this one。 For his separation gave him power as the Void gave most others power。 It allowed him to accept all that he did as necessary and right。 Without that belief he…like a priest without Buddha…would be bereft。
But in this one instance； this turning away had hurt her terribly and she could not hold her tongue。 Watching his face； she said； 〃You did not enjoy our joining； Saigo…san？ You did not feel the outpouring of love as I did？〃
His face screwed up derisively。 〃Love！ Pah！ There is no such thing！〃
〃Yet； before； you told me that you love Yukio；〃 Akiko persevered； though she felt a foreboding building inside her。
〃What I feel for Yukio is none of your concern；〃 he snapped。 〃As for what I said； I used an equivalent word。 What I feel for her is inexpressible in language。 But certainly it is not love。〃
〃And for me？〃 She knew it would e to this； but her fear of what he might or might not say was insufficient for her to hold onto her words。 〃What do you feel for me； Saigo…san？ Is it； too； inexpressible？〃
〃Questions； questions； and more questions。 Why is it that all women know how to do is ask questions？〃 He lurched drunkenly to his feet。 His breath was a steamy cloud before his lips。 He was fully the warrior again。 〃I find questions insupportable； Akiko…san。 You already know that about me yet you persist in asking them。〃
〃I am only human；〃 she said sadly。 〃Unlike you； oyabun。〃
He laughed then； a low guttural sound。 〃Oyabun； eh？ That is good； Akiko…san。 Very； very good。 You see me as your mentor； your overlord。 Well； I'll say this for you； you certainly know how to keep me in good humor。〃
But already he suspected that the supposedly immutable continents of his being were shifting off their divine axis。 Now with a brilliant flash daylight had begun to pour in through the resulting rent； flooding his world； scoring demarkations to a landscape alien to him。 And in the shadowed recesses； flickering fires licked； funeral pyres to what had once been。
Looking at her now； it seemed abruptly clear to him that he； indeed； had never loved Yukio； had； in fact； not understood that feeling could be warm as well as cold。
As his eyes drank Akiko in he felt a return of the deep sexual throbbing she had elicited from him。 He felt none of the aggressive rage toward her that he had felt toward Yukio or his many male lovers。 He was astonished to find that with Akiko there was no anger at all； only this warmth that； belatedly； he could identify as fort。 And now he knew that all that he had said to her today was not as he had thought； to hurt her； but to unburden himself。
The sky had grown dark with low； surging clouds。 The air was damp and leaden。 It would rain or snow soon； depending on the balance of the temperature。 A premature twilight was ing on； as purple as a new bruise。
〃Storm ing from the northwest；〃 he said。 〃Time to go。〃 He wanted to pull his eyes away from her but he was like a child who had discovered his love of sweets； once in the shop he was reluctant to depart。
Yet at the same time he felt a need to break the tenuous connection that still linked them like a length of twined silk。 It was important for him to regain a sense of himself； to know that all of him had not been transformed by this new feeling； that the iron warrior still beat strongly within him。
Thus he began without her； walking as if he had forgotten her existence。 Then； as Akiko rose to follow him； she saw that something that was hidden from her vantage point had caught his attention。 She watched as he turned off the path； heading into the pines on his left。
In a moment he was back。 In his left hand he held a squirming ball of gray fur by the scruff of its neck。
〃Eeya！ Akiko…san； see what I've found！ A wolf cub！〃
Smiling； Akiko came toward him down the path。 For just an instant he had the happy； carefree aspect of a little boy。 It was so good to see that spark in him； she thought。 If only this time could be extended。
At that moment； she became aware of a blur hurtling through the air toward him。 She opened her mouth to scream a warning but it was already too late。
The great gray thing was already atop Saigo； snarling and clawing。 Saigo staggered and fell sideways beneath the fury of the onslaught。 Instinctively he dropped the cub but the mother was oblivious； attacking him with insane ferocity。
Akiko ran up； saw them twisting back and forth on the snowy ground。 She bent down； trying to grab the wolf behind its neck in order to pull it off him。
But Saigo must have hit a patch of ice for he。 spun beneath her and； tumbling head over heels； man and beast flew over the embankment； down twenty feet to the riverbank。
Akiko； running to the edge； saw Saigo'