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that is waiting for you？
e。 We pause。 No； the meat is waiting。 We trot on。
e now。 e to me。 I've meat for you。
We've meat already。 And closer。
Nighteyes。 Changer。 Heart of the Pack summons you。
We pause again。 Shake all over。 This is not fortable。 And what is Heart of the Pack to us？ He is not pack。 He pushes us。 There is meat closer。 It is decided。 We go to the pond's edge。 Here。 Somewhere here。 Ah。 Dig down to her through the snow。 The crows e to watch us； waiting for us to be finished。
Nighteyes。 Changer。 e。 e now。 Soon it will be too late。
The meat is frozen； crisp and red。 Turn our head to use our back teeth to scissor it from the bones。 A crow flies down； lands on the snow nearby。 Hop； hop。 He cocks his head。 For sport； we lunge at him； put him to flight again。 Our meat； all of it。 Days and nights of meat。
e。 Please。 e。 Please。 e soon； e now。 e back to us。 You are needed。 e。 e。
He does not go away。 We put back our ears； but still we hear him； e； e； e。 He steals the pleasure from the meat with his whining。 Enough。 We have eaten enough for now。 We will go； just to still him。
Good。 That's good。 e to me； e to me。
We go； trotting through the gathering darkness。 A rabbit sits up suddenly； scampers away across the snow。 Shall we？ No。 Belly is full。 Trot on。 Cross a man's path； an open empty strip under the night sky。 We fade across it swiftly； trot on through the woods that border it。
e to me。 e。 Nighteyes； Changer； I summon you。 e to me。
The forest ends。 There is a cleared hillside below us； and beyond that a flat bare place； shelterless under the night sky。 Too open。 The crusted snow is untracked； but at the bottom of the hill； there are humans。 Two。 Heart of the Pack digs while another watches。 Heart of the Pack digs fast and hard。 His breath smokes in the night。 The other has a light； a too bright light that shrinks the eye to behold。 Heart of the Pack stops his digging。 He looks up at us。 。
e； he says。 e。
He jumps into the hole he has dug。 There is black earth； frozen chunks of it； atop the clean snow。 He lands with a thud like deer antlers on a tree。 He crouches and there is a tearing sound。 He uses a tool that thuds and tears。 We settle down to watch him； wrapping tail around to warm front feet。 What has this to do with us？ We are full； we could go to sleep now。 He looks up at us suddenly through the night。
Wait。 A moment longer。 Wait。
He growls to the other； and that one holds the light to the hole。 Heart of the Pack bends his back and the other reaches to help him。 They drag something from the hole。 The smell of it sets our hackles ajar。 We turn； we leap to run； we circle； we cannot leave。 There is a fear here； there is a danger； a threat of pain； of loneliness； of endings。
e。 e down to us here； e down。 We need you now。 It is time。
This is not time。 Time is always； is everywhere。 You need us； but perhaps we do not want to be needed。 We have meat； and a warm place to sleep； and even more meat for another time。 With a full belly and a warm den； what else is to be needed？ Yet。 We will go closer。 We will snuff it； we will see what it is that threatens and beckons。 Belly to snow； tail low； we slink down the hill。
Heart of the Pack sits in the snow holding it。 He motions the other away； and that one steps back； back； back taking his painful light with him。 Closer。 The hill is behind us now； bare； shelterless。 It is a far run back to hiding if we are threatened。 But nothing moves。 There is only Heart of the Pack and that which he holds。 It smells of old blood。 He shakes it； as if to worry off apiece of meat。 Then he rubs at it； moving his hands like a bitch's teeth go over a cub to rid it of fleas。 We know the smell of it。 Closer we e。 Closer。 It is but a leap away。
What do you want？ We demand of him。
e back。
We have e。
e back here。 Changer。 He is insistent。 e back to this。 He lifts an arm； holds up a hand。 He shows us a head lolling on his shoulder。 He turns its head to show us its face。 We do not know it。
That？
This。 This is yours； Changer。
It smells bad。 It is spoiled meat； we do not want it。 There is better meat by the pond than that。
e here。 e closer。
This is not a good idea。 We will e no closer。 He looks at us and grips us with his eyes。 He edges closer to us； bringing it with him。 It flops in his arms。
Easy。 Easy。 This is yours； Changer。 e closer。
We snarl； but he does not look away。 We cower； tail to belly； wanting to leave； but he is strong。 He takes its hand and puts it on our head。 He holds the scruff of our neck to still us。
e back。 You must e back。 He is so insistent。
We cower down； digging claws into the snowy earth。 Humping our back； we try to pull away； struggle to take one step backward。 He still holds on to the scruff of our neck。 We gather strength to wheel and break away。
Let him go； Nighteyes。 He is not yours。 A hint of teeth in those words； his eyes stare at us too hard。
He is not yours； either； Nighteyes says。
Whose am I； then？
A moment of teetering； of balancing between two worlds； two realities； two fleshes。 Then a wolf wheels and flees； tail tucked； over the snow； running away alone； fleeing from too much strangeness。 Atop a hill he stops； to point his nose at the sky and howl。 Howl for the unfairness of it all。
I do not have a memory of that frozen graveyard that is my own。 I have a sort of dream。 I was wretchedly cold； stiff； and the raw taste of brandy burned； not just in my mouth； but all through me。 Burrich and Chade would not leave me alone。 They didn't care how much they were hurting me； they just kept on rubbing my hands and feet； careless of the old bruises； the scabs on my arms。 And every time I closed my eyes； Burrich would seize me and shake me like a rag。 〃Stay with me； Fitz；〃 he kept saying。 〃Stay with me； stay with me。 e on； boy。 You're not dead。 You're not dead。〃 Then suddenly he hugged me to him； his bearded face bristling against mine and his hot tears falling on my face。 He rocked me back and forth； sitting in the snow at the edge of my grave。 〃You're not dead； son。 You're not dead。〃
EPILOGUE
IT WAS A thing Burrich had heard of； in a tale told by his grandmother。 A tale of a Witted one who could leave her body； for a day or so； and then e back to it。 And Burrich had told it to Chade； and Chade had mixed the poisons that would take me to the brink of death。 They told me I had not died； that my body had but slowed to an appearance of death。
I do not believe that。
And so I lived once more in man's body。 Though it took me some days and time to remember that I had been a man。 And sometimes； still； I doubt it。
I did not resume my life。 My life as FitzChivalry lay in smoking ruins behind me。 In all the world； only Burrich and Chade knew I had not died。 Of those who had known me； few remembered me with smiles。 Regal had killed me； in every way that mattered to me as a man。 To present myself to any of those who had loved me； to stand befor