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He was suddenly sure Jan and his mother wouldn't be there anyway。 Just the kids he had gone to school with； anxious to see the suicidal freak they had unknowingly nurtured among them。 And the Ladies' Aid。 They would be there。 The Ladies' Aid had given him a tea two nights before the Walk started。 In that antique time。
〃Let's start dropping back；〃 McVries said。 〃We'll do it slow。 Get together with Baker。 We'll walk into Augusta together。 The original Three Musketeers。 What do you say； Garraty？〃
〃All right；〃 Garraty said。 It sounded good。
They dropped back a little at a time； eventually leaving the sinister…faced Harold Quince to lead the parade。 They knew they were back with their own people when Abraham； out of the gathering gloom； asked： 〃You finally decide to e back and visit the po' folks？〃
〃Je…sus； he really does look like him；〃 McVries said； staring at Abraham's weary； three…day…bearded face。 〃Especially in this light。〃
〃Fourscore and seven years ago；〃 Abraham intoned； and for an eerie moment it was as if a spirit had inhabited seventeen…year…old Abraham。 〃Our fathers set forth on this continent 。 。 。 ah； bullshit。 I forget the rest。 We had to learn it in eighth grade history if we wanted an A。〃
〃The face of a founding father and the mentality of a syphilitic donkey；〃' McVries said sadly。 〃Abraham； how did you get into a balls…up like this？〃
〃Bragged my way in；〃 Abraham said promptly。 He started to go on and the guns interrupted him。 There was the familiar mailsack thud。
〃That was Gallant；〃 Baker said； looking back。 〃He's been walking dead all day。〃
〃Bragged his way into it；〃 Garraty mused； and then laughed。
〃Sure。 〃 Abraham ran a hand up one cheek and scratched the cavernous hollow under one eye。 〃You know the essay test？〃
They all nodded。 An essay； Why Do You Feel Qualified to Participate in the Long Walk？； was a standard part of the Mentals section of the exam。 Garraty felt a warm trickle on his tight heel and wondered if it was blood； pus； sweat； or all of the above。 There seemed to be no pain； although his sock felt ragged back there。
〃Well； the thing was；〃 Abraham said； 〃I didn't feel particularly qualified to participate in anything。 I took the exam pletely on the spur of the moment。 I was on my way to the movies and I just happened past the gym where they were having the test。 You have to show your Work Permit card to get in； you know。 I just happened to have mine with me that day。 If I hadn't； I wouldn't have bothered to go home and get it。 I just would have gone on to the movies and I wouldn't be here right now； dying in such jolly pany。〃
They considered this silently。
〃I took the physical and then I zipped through the objective stuff and then I see this three…page blank at the end of the folder。 'Please answer this question as objectively and honestly as you can； using not more than 1500 words；' oh holy shit； I think。 The rest of it was sort of fun。 What a bunch of fucked…up questions。'
〃Yeah； how often do you have a bowel movement？〃 Baker said dryly。 〃Have you ever used snuff？〃
〃Yeah； yeah； stuff like that；〃 Abraham agreed。 〃I'd forgotten all about that stupid snuff question。 I just zipped along； bullshitting in good order； you know； and I e to this essay about why I feel qualified to participate。 I couldn't think of a thing。 So finally some bastard in an army coat strolls by and says； 'Five minutes。 Will everyone finish up； please？' So I just put down； 'I feel qualified to participate in the Long Walk because I am one useless S。O。B and the world would be better off without me； unless I happened to win and get rich in which case I would buy a Van Go to put in every room of my manshun and order up sixty high…class horrs and not bother anybody。' I thought about that for about a minute； and then I put in parenthesis： '（I would give all my sixty high…class horns old…age pensions； too。）' I thought that would really screw 'em up。 So a month later…I'd forgotten all about the whole thing…I get a letter saying I qualified。 I damn near creamed my jeans。〃
〃And you went through with it？〃 Collie Parker demanded。
〃Yeah； it's hard to explain。 The thing was； everybody thought it was a big joke。 My girlfriend wanted to have the letter photographed and get it turned into a T…shirt down at the Shirt Shack； like she thought I'd pulled the biggest practical joke of the century。 It was like that with everybody。 I'd get the big glad hand and somebody was always saying something like； 'Hey Abe； you really tweaked the Major's balls； din'tchoo？' It was so funny I just kept on going。 I'll tell you；〃 Abraham said； smiling morbidly； 〃it got to be a real laff riot。 Everybody thought I was just gonna go on tweaking the Major's balls to the very end。 Which was what I did。 Then one morning I woke up and I was in。 I was a Prime Walker； sixteenth out of the drum； as a matter of fact。 So I guess it turned out the Major was tweaking my balls。 〃
An abortive little cheer went through the Walkers； and Garraty glanced up。 A huge reflector sign overhead informed them： AUGUSTA 10。
〃You could just die laughing； right？〃 Collie said。
Abraham looked at Parker for a long time。 〃The Founding Father is not amused；〃 he said hollowly。
Chapter 14
〃And remember； if you use your hands； or gesture with any part of your body； or use any part of the word； you will forfeit your chance for the ten thousand dollars。 Just give a list。 Good luck。〃
Dick Clark
The Ten Thousand Dollar Pyramid
They had all pretty much agreed that there was little emotional stretch or recoil left in them。 But apparently； Garraty thought tiredly as they walked into the roaring darkness along U。S。 202 with Augusta a mile behind them； it was not so。 Like a badly treated guitar that has been knocked about by an unfeeling musician； the strings were not broken but only out of tune； discordant； chaotic。
Augusta hadn't been like Oldtown。 Oldtown had been a phony hick New York。 Augusta was some new city； a once…a…year city of crazy revelers； a party…down city full of a million boogying drunks and cuckoo birds and out…and…out maniacs。
They had heard Augusta and seen Augusta long before they had reached Augusta。 The image of waves beating on a distant shore recurred to Garraty again and again。 They heard the crowd five miles out。 The lights filled the sky with a bubblelike pastel glow that was frightening and apocalyptic； reminding Garraty of pictures he had seen in the history books of the German air…blitz of the American East Coast during the last days of World War II。
They stared at each other uneasily and bunched closer together like small boys in a lightning storm or cows in a blizzard。 There was a raw redness in that swelling sound of Crowd。 A hunger that was numbing。 Garraty had a vivid and scary image of the great god Crowd clawing its way out of the Augusta basin on scarlet spiderlegs and devouring them all alive。
The town itself had been swallowed； strangled； and buried。 In a very real sense there was no Augusta； and there were no more fat ladies； or pretty girls； or pompous men； or wet…crotched children waving puffy clouds of cotton candy。 There was no bustling Italian man here to throw slices