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〃No…〃
〃No； course I didn't。〃 Barkovitch's smile reappeared； but now there was something desperate in it。 The cockiness was gone。 〃Listen； I got off on the wrong foot with you guys。 I didn't mean to。 Shit； I'm a good enough guy when you get to know me； I'm always gettin' off on the wrong foot； I never had much of a crowd back home。 In my school； I mean。 Christ； I don't know why。 I'm a good enough guy when you get to know me； as good as anyone else； but I always just； you know； seem to get off on the wrong foot。 I mean a guy's got to have a couple of friends on a thing like this。 It's no good to be alone； right？ Jesus Christ； Garraty； you know that。 That Rank。 He started it； Garraty。 He wanted to tear my ass。 Guys； they always want to tear my ass。 I used to carry a switchblade back at my high school on account of guys wanting to tear my ass。 That Rank。 I didn't mean for him to croak； that wasn't the idea at all。 I mean； it wasn't my fault。 You guys just saw the end of it； not the way he was 。 。 。 ripping my ass； you know 。 。 。 〃 Barkovitch trailed off。
〃Yeah； I guess so；〃 Garraty said； feeling like a hypocrite。 Maybe Barkovitch could rewrite history for himself； but Garraty remembered the Rank incident too clearly。 〃Well； what do you want to do； anyway？ You want to go along with the deal？〃
〃Sure； sure。〃 Barkovitch's hand tightened convulsively on Garraty's sleeve； pulling it like the emergency…stop cord on a bus。 〃I'll send her enough bread to keep her in clover the rest of her life。 I just wanted to tell you 。 。 。 make you see 。 。 。 a guy's got to have some friends 。 。 。 a guy's got to have a crowd； you know？ Who wants to die hated； if you got to die； that's the way I look at it。 I 。 。 。 I 。 。 。〃
〃Sure； right。〃 Garraty began to drop back； feeling like a coward； still hating Barkovitch but somehow feeling sorry for him at the same time。 〃Thanks a lot。〃 It was the touch of human in Barkovitch that scared him。 For some reason it scared him。 He didn't know why。
He dropped back too fast； got a warning； and spent the next ten minutes working back to where Stebbins was ambling along。
〃Ray Garraty；〃 Stebbins said。 〃Happy May 3rd； Garraty。〃
Garraty nodded cautiously。 〃Same goes both ways。〃
〃I was counting my toes；〃 Stebbins said panionably。 〃They are fabulously good pany because they always add up the same way。 What's on your mind？〃
So Garraty went through the business about Scramm and Scramm's wife for the second time； and halfway through another boy got his ticket （HELL'S ANGELS ON WHEELS stenciled on the back of his battered jeans jacket） and made it all seem rather meaningless and trite。 Finished； he waited tensely for Stebbins to stag anatomizing the idea。
〃Why not？〃 Stebbins said amiably。 He looked up at Garraty and smiled。 Garraty could see that fatigue was finally making its inroads； even in Stebbins。
〃You sound like you've got nothing to lose；〃 he said。
〃That's right；〃 Stebbins said jovially。 〃None of us really has anything to lose。 That makes it easier to give away。〃
Garraty looked at Stebbins； depressed。 There was too much truth in what he said。 It made their gesture toward Scramm look small。
〃Don't get me wrong； Garraty old chum。 I'm a bit weird； but I'm no old meanie。 If I could make Scramm croak any faster by withholding my promise； I would。 But I can't。 I don't know for sure； but I'll bet every Long Walk finds some poor dog like Scramm and makes a gesture like this； Garraty； and I'll further bet it always es at just about this time in the Walk； when the old realities and mortalities are starting to sink in。 In the old days； before the Change and the Squads； when there were still millionaires； they used to set up foundations and build libraries and all that good shit。 Everyone wants a bulwark against mortality； Garraty。 Some people can kid themselves that it's their kids。 But none of those poor lost children；〃 Stebbins swung one thin arm to indicate the other Walkers and laughed； but Garraty thought he sounded sad〃they're never even going to leave any bastards。 〃 He winked at Garraty。 〃Shock you？〃
〃I 。 。 。 I guess not。〃
〃You and your friend McVries stand out in this motley crew； Garraty。 I don't understand how either of you got here。 I'm willing to bet it runs deeper than you think； though。 You took me seriously last night； didn't you？ About Olson。〃
〃I suppose so；〃 Garraty said slowly。
Stebbins laughed delightedly。 〃You're the bee's knees； Ray。 Olson had no secrets。〃
〃I don't think you were ribbing last night。 〃
〃Oh； yes。 I was。〃
Garraty smiled tightly。 〃You know what I think？ I think you had some sort of insight and now you want to deny it。 Maybe it scared you。〃
Stebbins's eyes went gray。 〃Have it how you like it； Garraty。 It's your funeral。 Now what say you flake off？ You got your promise。 〃
〃You want to cheat it。 Maybe that's your trouble。 You like to think the game is rigged。 But maybe it's a straight game。 That scare you； Stebbins？〃
〃Take off。〃
〃Go on； admit it。〃
〃I admit nothing； except your own basic foolishness。 Go ahead and tell yourself it's a straight game。〃 Thin color had e into Stebbins's cheeks。 〃Any game looks straight if everyone is being cheated at once。〃
〃You're all wet；〃 Garraty said； but now his voice lacked conviction。 Stebbins smiled briefly and looked back down at his feet。
They were climbing out of along； swaybacked dip； and Garraty felt sweat pop out on him as he hurried back up through the line to where McVries； Pearson； Abraham； Baker； and Scramm were bundled up together…or； more exactly； the others were bundled around Scramm。 They looked like worried seconds around a punchy fighter。
〃How is he？〃 Garraty asked。
〃Why ask them？〃 Scramm demanded。 His former husky voice had been reduced to a mere whisper。 The fever had broken； leaving his face pallid and waxy。
〃Okay； I'll ask you。〃
〃Aw； not bad；〃 Scramm said。 He coughed。 It was a raspy； bubbling sound that seemed to e from underwater。 〃I'm not so bad。 It's nice； what you guys are doing for Cathy。 A man likes to take care of his own； but I guess I wouldn't be doing right to stand on my pride。 Not the way things are now。〃
〃Don't talk so much；〃 Pearson said； 〃you'll wear yourself out。〃
〃What's the difference？ Now or later； what's the difference？〃 Scramm looked at them dumbly； then shook his head slowly from side to side。 〃Why'd I have to get sick？ I was going good； I really was。 Odds…on favorite。 Even when I'm tired I like to walk。 Look at folks； smell the air 。 。 。 why？ Is it God？ Did God do it to me？〃
〃I don't know；〃 Abraham said。
Garraty felt the death…fascination ing over him again； and was repulsed。 He tried to shake it off。 It wasn't fair。 Not when it was a friend。
〃What time is it？〃 Scramm asked suddenly； and Garraty was eerily reminded of Olson。
〃Ten past ten；〃 Baker said。
〃Just about two hundred miles down the road；〃 McVries added。
〃My feet ain't tired；〃 Scramm said。 〃That's something。〃
A little boy was screaming lustily on the sidelines。 His voice rose above the low crowd rumble by virtue of pure shrillness。 〃Hey Ma！ Look at the big guy！ Look at that moose； Ma！ Hey Ma！ Look！〃
Garraty's eyes swept the crowd briefly and pic