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There captives led in triumph droop the eye；
And in perspective many a squadron flies：
It seems the work of times before the line
Of Rome transplanted fell with Constantine。
This massy portal stood at the wide close
Of a huge hall； and on its either side
Two little dwarfs； the least you could suppose；
Were sate； like ugly imps； as if allied
In mockery to the enormous gate which rose
O'er them in almost pyramidic pride：
The gate so splendid was in all its features；
You never thought about those little creatures；
Until you nearly trod on them； and then
You started back in horror to survey
The wondrous hideousness of those small men；
Whose colour was not black； nor white； nor grey；
But an extraneous mixture； which no pen
Can trace； although perhaps the pencil may；
They were mis…shapen pigmies； deaf and dumb…
Monsters； who cost a no less monstrous sum。
Their duty was… for they were strong； and though
They look'd so little； did strong things at times…
To ope this door； which they could really do；
The hinges being as smooth as Rogers' rhymes；
And now and then； with tough strings of the bow；
As is the custom of those Eastern climes；
To give some rebel Pacha a cravat；
For mutes are generally used for that。
They spoke by signs… that is； not spoke at all；
And looking like two incubi； they glared
As Baba with his fingers made them fall
To heaving back the portal folds： it scared
Juan a moment； as this pair so small
With shrinking serpent optics on him stared；
It was as if their little looks could poison
Or fascinate whome'er they fix'd their eyes on。
Before they enter'd； Baba paused to hint
To Juan some slight lessons as his guide：
'If you could just contrive；' he said； 'to stint
That somewhat manly majesty of stride；
'T would be as well； and （though there 's not much in 't）
To swing a little less from side to side；
Which has at times an aspect of the oddest；…
And also could you look a little modest；
''T would be convenient； for these mutes have eyes
Like needles； which may pierce those petticoats；
And if they should discover your disguise；
You know how near us the deep Bosphorus floats；
And you and I may chance； ere morning rise；
To find our way to Marmora without boats；
Stitch'd up in sacks… a mode of navigation
A good deal practised here upon occasion。'
With this encouragement； he led the way
Into a room still nobler than the last；
A rich confusion form'd a disarray
In such sort； that the eye along it cast
Could hardly carry anything away；
Object on object flash'd so bright and fast；
A dazzling mass of gems； and gold； and glitter；
Magnificently mingled in a litter。
Wealth had done wonders… taste not much； such things
Occur in Orient palaces； and even
In the more chasten'd domes of Western kings
（Of which I have also seen some six or seven）；
Where I can't say or gold or diamond flings
Great lustre； there is much to be forgiven；
Groups of bad statues； tables； chairs； and pictures；
On which I cannot pause to make my strictures。
In this imperial hall； at distance lay
Under a canopy； and there reclined
Quite in a confidential queenly way；
A lady； Baba stopp'd； and kneeling sign'd
To Juan； who though not much used to pray；
Knelt down by instinct； wondering in his mind；
What all this meant： while Baba bow'd and bended
His head； until the ceremony ended。
The lady rising up with such an air
As Venus rose with from the wave； on them
Bent like an antelope a Paphian pair
Of eyes； which put out each surrounding gem；
And raising up an arm as moonlight fair；
She sign'd to Baba； who first kiss'd the hem
Of her deep purple robe； and speaking low；
Pointed to Juan who remain'd below。
Her presence was as lofty as her state；
Her beauty of that overpowering kind；
Whose force description only would abate：
I 'd rather leave it much to your own mind；
Than lessen it by what I could relate
Of forms and features； it would strike you blind
Could I do justice to the full detail；
So； luckily for both； my phrases fail。
Thus much however I may add；… her years
Were ripe； they might make six…and…twenty springs；
But there are forms which Time to touch forbears；
And turns aside his scythe to vulgar things；
Such as was Mary's Queen of Scots； true… tears
And love destroy； and sapping sorrow wrings
Charms from the charmer； yet some never grow
Ugly； for instance… Ninon de l'Enclos。
She spake some words to her attendants； who
posed a choir of girls； ten or a dozen；
And were all clad alike； like Juan； too；
Who wore their uniform； by Baba chosen；
They form'd a very nymph…like looking crew；
Which might have call'd Diana's chorus 'cousin；'
As far as outward show may correspond；
I won't be bail for anything beyond。
They bow'd obeisance and withdrew； retiring；
But not by the same door through which came in
Baba and Juan； which last stood admiring；
At some small distance； all he saw within
This strange saloon； much fitted for inspiring
Marvel and praise； for both or none things win；
And I must say； I ne'er could see the very
Great happiness of the 'Nil Admirari。'
'Not to admire is all the art I know
（Plain truth； dear Murray； needs few flowers of speech）
To make men happy； or to keep them so'
（So take it in the very words of Creech）…
Thus Horace wrote we all know long ago；
And thus Pope quotes the precept to re…teach
From his translation； but had none admired；
Would Pope have sung； or Horace been inspired？
Baba； when all the damsels were withdrawn；
Motion'd to Juan to approach； and then
A second time desired him to kneel down；
And kiss the lady's foot； which maxim when
He heard repeated； Juan with a frown
Drew himself up to his full height again；
And said； 'It grieved him； but he could not stoop
To any shoe； unless it shod the Pope。'
Baba； indignant at this ill…timed pride；
Made fierce remonstrances； and then a threat
He mutter'd （but the last was given aside）
About a bow…string… quite in vain； not yet
Would Juan bend； though 't were to Mahomet's bride：
There 's nothing in the world like etiquette
In kingly chambers or imperial halls；
As also at the race and county balls。
He stood like Atlas； with a world of words
About his ears； and nathless would not bend：
The blood of all his line 's Castilian lords
Boil'd in his veins； and rather than descend
To stain his pedigree a thousand swords
A thousand times of him had made an end；
At length perceiving the 'foot' could not stand；
Baba proposed that he should kiss the hand。
Here was an honourable promise；
A half…way house of diplomatic rest；
Where they might meet in much more peaceful guise；
And Juan now his willingness exprest
To use all fit and proper courtesies；
Adding； that this was monest and best；
For through the South the custom still mands
The gentleman to kiss the lady's hands。
And he advanced； though with but a bad grace；
Though on more thorough…bred or fairer fingers
No lips e'er left their transitory trace；
On such as these the lip too fondly lingers；
And for one kiss would fain imprint a brace；
As you will see； if she you love shall bring hers
In contact； and sometimes even a fair stranger's
An almost twelvemonth's constancy endang