按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
〃But I was too big and hard；〃 I said。
Midori smiled and touched my wrist。 〃A little before that； I decided I
was going to believe in you。 A hundred per cent。 That's how I
managed to sleep like that with total peace of mind。 I knew I'd be all
right； I'd be safe with you there。 And I did sleep like a log； didn't I？〃
〃You sure did。〃
〃On the other hand； if you were to say to me； 〃Hey； Midori； let's do it。
Then everything'll be great；' I'd probably do it with you。 Now； don't
think I'm trying to seduce you or tease you。 I'm just telling you what's
on my mind； with total honesty。〃
〃I know； I know。〃
While we ate lunch； we showed each other our enrolment cards and
found that we had enrolled for two of the same courses。 So I'd be
seeing her twice a week at least。 With that out of the way； Midori told
me about her living arrangements。 For a while； neither she nor her
sister could get used to living in a flat … because it was too easy； she
said。 They had always been used to running around like mad every
day； taking care of sick people； helping out at the bookshop； and one
thing or another。
〃We're finally getting used to it； though；〃 she said。 〃This is the way we
should have been living all along … not having to worry about anyone
else's needs； just stretching out any way we felt like it。 It made us both
nervous at first； as if our bodies were floating a few inches off the
ground。 It didn't seem real； like real life couldn't actually be like that。
We were both tense； as though everything was about to be tipped
upside down any minute。〃
〃A couple of worriers；〃 I said with a smile。
〃Well； it's just that life has been so cruel to us until now；〃
Midori said。 〃But that's OK。 We're going to get back every thing it
owes us。〃
〃I bet you are；〃 I said； 〃knowing you。 But tell me； what's your sister
doing these days？〃
〃A friend of hers opened this swanky accessory shop a little while
ago。 My sister helps out there three times a week。 Otherwise； she's
studying cookery； going on dates with her fianc茅； going to the cinema；
vegging out； and just enjoying life。
Midori then asked about my new life。 I gave her a description of the
layout of the house； and the big garden and Seagull the cat； and my
landlord。
〃Are you enjoying yourself？〃 she asked。 〃Pretty much；〃 I said。
〃Could have fooled me；〃 said Midori。
〃Yeah； and it's springtime； too；〃 I said。
〃And you're wearing that cool pullover your girlfriend knitted for
you。〃
With a sudden shock I glanced down at my wine…coloured jumper。
〃How did you know？〃
〃You're as honest as they e；〃 said Midori。 〃I'm guessing； of
course！ Anyway； what's wrong with you？〃
〃I don't know。 I'm trying to whip up a little enthusiasm。〃 〃Just
remember； life is a box of chocolates。〃
I shook my head a few times and looked at her。 〃Maybe I'm not so
smart； but sometimes I don't know what on earth you're talking
about。〃
〃You know； they've got these chocolate assortments； and you like
some but you don't like others？ And you eat all the ones you like； and
the only ones left are the ones you don't like as much？ I always think
about that when something painful es up。 〃Now I just have to
polish these off； and everything'll be OK。' Life is a box of chocolates。〃
〃I suppose you could call it a philosophy。〃
〃It's true； though。 I've learned it from experience。〃
We were drinking our coffee when two girls came in。 Midori seemed
to know them from university。 The three of them pared enrolment
cards and talked about a million different things： 〃What kind of mark
did you get in German？〃 〃So…and…so got hurt in the campus riots。〃
〃Great shoes； where did you buy them？〃 I half…listened； but it felt as
though their ments were ing from the other side of the world。
I sipped my coffee and watched the scene passing by the shop
window。 It was a typical university springtime scene as the new year
was getting under way： a haze hanging in the sky； the cherry trees
blooming； the new students （you could tell at a glance） carrying
armloads of new books。 I felt myself drifting off a little and thought
about Naoko； unable to return to her studies again this year。 A small
glass full of anemones stood by the window。
When the other two went back to their table； Midori and I left to walk
around the neighbourhood。 We visited a few second…hand bookshops；
bought some books； went to another caf茅 for another cup； played some
pinball at an arcade； and sat on a park bench； talking … or； rather；
Midori talked while I merely grunted in response。 When she said she
was thirsty； I ran over to a newsagent's and bought us two Cokes。 I
came back to find her scribbling away with her ballpoint pen on some
ruled paper。
〃What's that？〃 I asked。
〃Nothing；〃 she said。
〃I have to go；〃 she announced at 3。30。 〃I'm supposed to meet my sister
at the Ginza。〃
We walked to the subway station and went off in different directions。
As she left； Midori stuffed the piece of paper； now folded in four； into
my pocket。 〃Read this when you get home；〃 she said。 I read it on the
train。
I'm writing this letter to you while you're off buying drinks。 This is the
first time in my life I've ever written a letter to somebody sitting next
to me on a bench； but I feel it's the only way I can get through to you。
I mean； you're hardly listening to anything I say。 Am I right？
Do you realize you did something terrible to me today？ You never
even noticed that my hairstyle had changed； did you？ I've been
working on it forever； trying to grow it out； and finally； at the end of
last week； I managed to get it into a style you could actually call
girlish； but you never even noticed。 It was looking pretty good； so I
thought I'd give you a little shock when you saw me for the first time
after so long； but it didn't even register with you。 Don't you think that's
awful？ I bet you can't even remember what I was wearing today。 Hey；
I'm a girl！ So what if you've got something on your mind？ You can
spare me one decent look！ All you had to say was 〃Cute hair〃； and I
would have been able to forgive you for being sunk in a million
thoughts； but no！
Which is why I'm going to tell you a lie。 It's not true that I have to
meet my sister at the Ginza。 I was planning to spend the night at your
place。 I even brought my pyjamas with me。 It's true。 I've got my
pyjamas and a toothbrush in my bag。 I'm such an idiot！ I mean； you
never even invited me over to see your new place。 Oh well； what the
hell； you obviously want to be alone； so I'll leave you alone。 Go ahead
and think away to your heart's content！
But don't get me wrong。 I'm not totally mad at you。 I'm just sad。 You
were so nice to me when I was having my problems； but now that
you're having yours； it seems there's not a thing I can do for you。
You're all locked up in that little world of yours； and when I try
knocking on the door； you just sort of look up for a second and go
right back inside。
So now I see you ing back with our drinks … walking and thinking。
I was hoping you'd trip； but you didn't。 Now you're sitting next to me
drinking your Coke。 I was holding out