友情提示:如果本网页打开太慢或显示不完整,请尝试鼠标右键“刷新”本网页!阅读过程发现任何错误请告诉我们,谢谢!! 报告错误
热门书库 返回本书目录 我的书架 我的书签 TXT全本下载 进入书吧 加入书签

简爱(英文版)-第119章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!



er a tropical sun。 With this persuasion I now answered—
“As far as I can see; it would be wiser and more judicious if you were to take to yourself the original at once。”
By this time he had sat down: he had laid the picture on the table before him; and with his brow supported on both hands; hung fondly over it。 I discerned he was now neither angry nor shocked at my audacity。 I saw even that to be thus frankly addressed on a subject he had deemed unapproachable—to hear it thus freely handled—was beginning to be felt by him as a new pleasure—an unhoped…for relief。 Reserved people often really need the frank discussion of their sentiments and griefs more than the expansive。 The sternest… seeming stoic is human after all; and to “burst” with boldness and good…will into “the silent sea” of their souls is often to confer on them the first of obligations。
“She likes you; I am sure;” said I; as I stood behind his chair; “and her father respects you。 Moreover; she is a sweet girl—rather thoughtless; but you would have sufficient thought for both yourself and her。 You ought to marry her。”
“Does she like me?” he asked。
“Certainly; better than she likes any one else。 She talks of you continually: there is no subject she enjoys so much or touches upon so often。”
“It is very pleasant to hear this;” he said—“very: go on for another quarter of an hour。” And he actually took out his watch and laid it upon the table to measure the time。
“But where is the use of going on;” I asked; “when you are probably preparing some iron blow of contradiction; or forging a fresh chain to fetter your heart?”
“Don’t imagine such hard things。 Fancy me yielding and melting; as I am doing: human love rising like a freshly opened fountain in my mind and overflowing with sweet inundation all the field I have so carefully and with such labour prepared—so assiduously sown with the seeds of good intentions; of self…denying plans。 And now it is deluged with a nectarous flood—the young germs swamped—delicious poison cankering them: now I see myself stretched on an ottoman in the drawing…room at Vale Hall at my bride Rosamond Oliver’s feet: she is talking to me with her sweet voice—gazing down on me with those eyes your skilful hand has copied so well—smiling at me with these coral lips。 She is mine—I am hers—this present life and passing world suffice to me。 Hush! say nothing—my heart is full of delight—my senses are entranced—let the time I marked pass in peace。”
I humoured him: the watch ticked on: he breathed fast and low: I stood silent。 Amidst this hush the quartet sped; he replaced the watch; laid the picture down; rose; and stood on the hearth。
“Now;” said he; “that little space was given to delirium and delusion。 I rested my temples on the breast of temptation; and put my neck voluntarily under her yoke of flowers。 I tasted her cup。 The pillow was burning: there is an asp in the garland: the wine has a bitter taste: her promises are hollow—her offers false: I see and know all this。”
I gazed at him in wonder。
“It is strange;” pursued he; “that while I love Rosamond Oliver so wildly—with all the intensity; indeed; of a first passion; the object of which is exquisitely beautiful; graceful; fascinating—I experience at the same time a calm; unwarped consciousness that she would not make me a good wife; that she is not the partner suited to me; that I should discover this within a year after marriage; and that to twelve months’ rapture would succeed a lifetime of regret。 This I know。”
“Strange indeed!” I could not help ejaculating。
“While something in me;” he went on; “is acutely sensible to her charms; something else is as deeply impressed with her defects: they are such that she could sympathise in nothing I aspired to—co… operate in nothing I undertook。 Rosamond a sufferer; a labourer; a female apostle? Rosamond a missionary’s wife? No!”
“But you need not be a missionary。 You might relinquish that scheme。”
“Relinquish! What! my vocation? My great work? My foundation laid on earth for a mansion in heaven? My hopes of being numbered in the band who have merged all ambitions in the glorious one of bettering their race—of carrying knowledge into the realms of ignorance—of substituting peace for war—freedom for bondage—religion for superstition—the hope of heaven for the fear of hell? Must I relinquish that? It is dearer than the blood in my veins。 It is what I have to look forward to; and to live for。”
After a considerable pause; I said—“And Miss Oliver? Are her disappointment and sorrow of no interest to you?”
“Miss Oliver is ever surrounded by suitors and flatterers: in less than a month; my image will be effaced from her heart。 She will forget me; and will marry; probably; some one who will make her far happier than I should do。”
“You speak coolly enough; but you suffer in the conflict。 You are wasting away。”
“No。 If I get a little thin; it is with anxiety about my prospects; yet unsettled—my departure; continually procrastinated。 Only this morning; I received intelligence that the successor; whose arrival I have been so long expecting; cannot be ready to replace me for three months to e yet; and perhaps the three months may extend to six。”
“You tremble and bee flushed whenever Miss Oliver enters the schoolroom。”
Again the surprised expression crossed his face。 He had not imagined that a woman would dare to speak so to a man。 For me; I felt at home in this sort of discourse。 I could never rest in munication with strong; discreet; and refined minds; whether male or female; till I had passed the outworks of conventional reserve; and crossed the threshold of confidence; and won a place by their heart’s very hearthstone。
“You are original;” said he; “and not timid。 There is something brave in your spirit; as well as perating in your eye; but allow me to assure you that you partially misinterpret my emotions。 You think them more profound and potent than they are。 You give me a larger allowance of sympathy than I have a just claim to。 When I colour; and when I shade before Miss Oliver; I do not pity myself。 I scorn the weakness。 I know it is ignoble: a mere fever of the flesh: not; I declare; the convulsion of the soul。 That is just as fixed as a rock; firm set in the depths of a restless sea。 Know me to be what I am—a cold hard man。”
I smiled incredulously。
“You have taken my confidence by storm;” he continued; “and now it is much at your service。 I am simply; in my original state— stripped of that blood…bleached robe with which Christianity covers human deformity—a cold; hard; ambitious man。 Natural affection only; of all the sentiments; has permanent power over me。 Reason; and not feeling; is my guide; my ambition is unlimited: my desire to rise higher; to do more than others; insatiable。 I honour endurance; perseverance; industry; talent; because these are the means by which men achieve great ends and mount to lofty eminence。 I watch your career with interest; because I consider you a specimen of a diligent; orderly; energetic woman: not because I deeply passionate what you have gone through; or what you still suffer。”
“You would describe yourself as a 
返回目录 上一页 下一页 回到顶部 0 0
未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!
温馨提示: 温看小说的同时发表评论,说出自己的看法和其它小伙伴们分享也不错哦!发表书评还可以获得积分和经验奖励,认真写原创书评 被采纳为精评可以获得大量金币、积分和经验奖励哦!