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have a level surface on which the gentleman was to run。
'PROFESSOR QUEERSPECK explained that City gentlemen would run in
trains； being handcuffed together to prevent confusion or
unpleasantness。 For instance； trains would start every morning at
eight； nine； and ten o'clock； from Camden Town； Islington；
Camberwell； Hackney； and various other places in which City
gentlemen are accustomed to reside。 It would be necessary to have
a level； but he had provided for this difficulty by proposing that
the best line that the circumstances would admit of； should be
taken through the sewers which undermine the streets of the
metropolis； and which； well lighted by jets from the gas pipes
which run immediately above them； would form a pleasant and
commodious arcade； especially in winter…time； when the inconvenient
custom of carrying umbrellas； now so general； could be wholly
dispensed with。 In reply to another question； Professor Queerspeck
stated that no substitute for the purposes to which these arcades
were at present devoted had yet occurred to him； but that he hoped
no fanciful objection on this head would be allowed to interfere
with so great an undertaking。
'MR。 JOBBA produced a forcing…machine on a novel plan； for bringing
joint…stock railway shares prematurely to a premium。 The
instrument was in the form of an elegant gilt weather…glass； of
most dazzling appearance； and was worked behind； by strings； after
the manner of a pantomime trick； the strings being always pulled by
the directors of the company to which the machine belonged。 The
quicksilver was so ingeniously placed； that when the acting
directors held shares in their pockets； figures denoting very small
expenses and very large returns appeared upon the glass； but the
moment the directors parted with these pieces of paper； the
estimate of needful expenditure suddenly increased itself to an
immense extent； while the statements of certain profits became
reduced in the same proportion。 Mr。 Jobba stated that the machine
had been in constant requisition for some months past； and he had
never once known it to fail。
'A Member expressed his opinion that it was extremely neat and
pretty。 He wished to know whether it was not liable to accidental
derangement？ Mr。 Jobba said that the whole machine was undoubtedly
liable to be blown up； but that was the only objection to it。
'PROFESSOR NOGO arrived from the anatomical section to exhibit a
model of a safety fire…escape； which could be fixed at any time； in
less than half an hour； and by means of which； the youngest or most
infirm persons （successfully resisting the progress of the flames
until it was quite ready） could be preserved if they merely
balanced themselves for a few minutes on the sill of their bedroom
window； and got into the escape without falling into the street。
The Professor stated that the number of boys who had been rescued
in the daytime by this machine from houses which were not on fire；
was almost incredible。 Not a conflagration had occurred in the
whole of London for many months past to which the escape had not
been carried on the very next day； and put in action before a
concourse of persons。
'THE PRESIDENT inquired whether there was not some difficulty in
ascertaining which was the top of the machine； and which the
bottom； in cases of pressing emergency。
'PROFESSOR NOGO explained that of course it could not be expected
to act quite as well when there was a fire； as when there was not a
fire； but in the former case he thought it would be of equal
service whether the top were up or down。'
With the last section our correspondent concludes his most able and
faithful Report； which will never cease to reflect credit upon him
for his scientific attainments； and upon us for our enterprising
spirit。 It is needless to take a review of the subjects which have
been discussed； of the mode in which they have been examined； of
the great truths which they have elicited。 They are now before the
world； and we leave them to read； to consider； and to profit。
The place of meeting for next year has undergone discussion； and
has at length been decided； regard being had to； and evidence being
taken upon； the goodness of its wines； the supply of its markets；
the hospitality of its inhabitants； and the quality of its hotels。
We hope at this next meeting our correspondent may again be
present； and that we may be once more the means of placing his
communications before the world。 Until that period we have been
prevailed upon to allow this number of our Miscellany to be
retailed to the public； or wholesaled to the trade； without any
advance upon our usual price。
We have only to add； that the committees are now broken up； and
that Mudfog is once again restored to its accustomed tranquillity；
… that Professors and Members have had balls； and SOIREES； and
suppers； and great mutual complimentations； and have at length
dispersed to their several homes； … whither all good wishes and
joys attend them； until next year！
Signed BOZ。
FULL REPORT OF THE SECOND MEETING OF THE MUDFOG ASSOCIATION FOR THE
ADVANCEMENT OF EVERYTHING
In October last； we did ourselves the immortal credit of recording；
at an enormous expense； and by dint of exertions unnpralleled in
the history of periodical publication； the proceedings of the
Mudfog Association for the Advancement of Everything； which in that
month held its first great half…yearly meeting； to the wonder and
delight of the whole empire。 We announced at the conclusion of
that extraordinary and most remarkable Report； that when the Second
Meeting of the Society should take place； we should be found again
at our post； renewing our gigantic and spirited endeavours； and
once more making the world ring with the accuracy； authenticity；
immeasurable superiority； and intense remarkability of our account
of its proceedings。 In redemption of this pledge； we caused to be
despatched per steam to Oldcastle （at which place this second
meeting of the Society was held on the 20th instant）； the same
superhumanly…endowed gentleman who furnished the former report； and
who； … gifted by nature with transcendent abilities； and furnished
by us with a body of assistants scarcely inferior to himself； … has
forwarded a series of letters； which； for faithfulness of
description； power of language； fervour of thought； happiness of
expression； and importance of subject…matter； have no equal in the
epistolary literature of any age or country。 We give this
gentleman's correspondence entire； and in the order in which it
reached our office。
'SALOON OF STEAMER； THURSDAY NIGHT； HALF…PAST EIGHT。
'When I left New Burlington Street this evening in the hackney
cabriolet； number four thousand two hundred and eighty…five； I
experienced sensations as novel as they were oppressive。 A sense
of the importance of the task I had undertaken； a consci