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little novels-第73章

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have all your troubles before you!〃

I had no heart to write yesterday's record; yesterday evening; as usual。 The absence of Felicia at the supper…table completely overcame me。 I; who have so often comforted others in their afflictions; could find no comfort for myself。 Even now that the day has passed; the tears come into my eyes; only with writing about it。 Sad; sad weakness! Let me close my Diary; and open the Bibleand be myself again。



June 23d。More resigned since yesterday; a more becoming and more pious frame of mindobedient to God's holy will; and content in the belief that my dear daughter's married life will be a happy one。

They have gone abroad for their holidayto Switzerland; by way of France。 I was anything rather than pleased when I heard that my son…in…law proposed to take Felicia to that sink of iniquity; Paris。 He knows already what I think of balls and playhouses; and similar devils' diversions; and how I have brought up my daughter to think of themthe subject having occurred in conversation among us more than a week since。 That he could meditate taking a child of mine to the headquarters of indecent jiggings and abominable stage…plays; of spouting rogues and painted Jezebels; was indeed a heavy blow。

However; Felicia reconciled me to it in the end。 She declared that her only desire in going to Paris was to see the picture…galleries; the public buildings; and the fair outward aspect of the city generally。 〃Your opinions; father; are my opinions;〃 she said; 〃and Marmaduke; I am sure; will so shape our arrangements as to prevent our passing a Sabbath in Paris。〃 Marmaduke not only consented to this (with the perfect good temper of which I have observed more than one gratifying example in him); but likewise assured me that; speaking for himself personally; it would be a relief to him when they got to the mountains and the lakes。 So that matter was happily settled。 Go where they may; God bless and prosper them!

Speaking of relief; I must record that Judith has gone away to Aberdeen on a visit to some friends。 〃You'll be wretched enough here;〃 she said at parting; 〃all by yourself。〃 Pure vanity and self…complacence! It may be resignation to her absence; or it may be natural force of mind; I began to be more easy and composed the moment I was alone; and this blessed state of feeling has continued uninterruptedly ever since。

V。

September 5th。A sudden change in my life; which it absolutely startles me to record。 I am going to London!

My purpose in taking this most serious step is of a twofold nature。 I have a greater and a lesser object in view。

The greater object is to see my daughter; and to judge for myself whether certain doubts on the vital question of her happiness; which  now torment me night and day; are unhappily founded on truth。 She and her husband returned in August from their wedding…tour; and took up their abode in Marmaduke's new residence in London。 Up to this time; Felicia's letters to me were; in very truth; the delight of my lifeshe was so entirely happy; so amazed and delighted with all the wonderful things she saw; so full of love and admiration for the best husband that ever lived。 Since her return to London; I perceive a complete change。

She makes no positive complaint; but she writes in a tone of weariness and discontent; she says next to nothing of Marmaduke; and she dwells perpetually on the one idea of my going to London to see her。 I hope with my whole heart that I am wrong; but the rare allusions to her husband; and the constantly repeated desire to see her father (while she has not been yet three months married); seem to me to be bad signs。 In brief; my anxiety is too great to be endured。 I have so arranged matters with one of my brethren as to be free to travel to London cheaply by steamer; and I begin the journey tomorrow。

My lesser object may be dismissed in two words。 Having already decided on going to London; I propose to call on the wealthy nobleman who owns all the land hereabouts; and represent to him the discreditable; and indeed dangerous; condition of the parish kirk for want of means to institute the necessary repairs。 If I find myself well received; I shall put in a word for the manse; which is almost in as deplorable a condition as the church。 My lord is a wealthy manmay his heart and his purse be opened unto me!

Sister Judith is packing my portmanteau。 According to custom; she forbodes the worst。 〃Never forget;〃 she says; 〃that I warned you against Marmaduke; on the first night when he entered the house。〃

VI。

September 10th。After more delays than one; on land and sea; I was at last set ashore near the Tower; on the afternoon of yesterday。 God help us; my worst anticipations have been realized! My beloved Felicia has urgent and serious need of me。

It is not to be denied that I made my entry into my son…in…law's house in a disturbed and irritated frame of mind。 First; my temper was tried by the almost interminable journey; in the noisy and comfortless vehicle which they call a cab; from the river…wharf to the west…end of London; where Marmaduke lives。 In the second place; I was scandalized and alarmed by an incident which took placestill on the endless journey from east to westin a street hard by the market of Covent Garden。

We had just approached a large building; most profusely illuminated with gas; and exhibiting prodigious colored placards having inscribed on them nothing but the name of Barrymore。 The cab came suddenly to a standstill; and looking out to see what the obstacle might be; I discovered a huge concourse of men and women; drawn across the pavement and road alike; so that it seemed impossible to pass by them。 I inquired of my driver what this assembling of the people meant。 〃Oh;〃 says he; 〃Barrymore has made another hit。〃 This answer being perfectly unintelligible to me; I requested some further explanation; and discovered that 〃Barrymore〃 was the name of a stage…player favored by the populace; that the building was a theater; and that all these creatures with immortal souls were waiting; before the doors opened; to get places at the show!

The emotions of sorrow and indignation caused by this discovery so absorbed me that I failed to notice an attempt the driver made to pass through; where the crowd seemed to be thinner; until the offended people resented the proceeding。 Some of them seized the horse's head; others were on the point of pulling the driver off his box; when providentially the police interfered。 Under their protection; we drew back; and reached our destination in safety; by another way。 I record this otherwise unimportant affair; because it grieved and revolted me (when I thought of the people's souls); and so indisposed my mind to take cheerful views of anything。 Under these circumstances; I would fain hope that I have exaggerated the true state of the case; in respect to my daughter's married life。

My good girl almost smothered me with kisses。 When I at last got a fair opportunity of observing her; I thought her looking pale and worn and anxious。 Query: Should I have arrived at this conclusion if I had met with no example of the wicked dissipations of London; and if I had ridden at my ease in a 
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