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motherhood； until the time should come when I should disgust every man。
Oh； do not deny it。 I did not understand it for some time； but then I
guessed it。 You even boasted about it to your sister； who told me of it；
for she is fond of me and was disgusted at your boorish coarseness。
〃Ah！ Remember how you have behaved in the past！ How for eleven years
you have compelled me to give up all society and simply be a mother to
your children。 And then you would grow disgusted with me and I was sent
into the country； the family chateau； among fields and meadows。 And when
I reappeared； fresh； pretty and unspoiled； still seductive and constantly
surrounded by admirers； hoping that at last I should live a little more
like a rich young society woman； you were seized with jealousy again； and
you began once more to persecute me with that infamous and hateful desire
from which you are suffering at this moment by my side。 And it is not
the desire of possessing mefor I should never have refused myself to
you； but it is the wish to make me unsightly。
〃And then that abominable and mysterious thing occurred which I was a
long time in understanding （but I grew sharp by dint of watching your
thoughts and actions）： You attached yourself to your children with all
the security which they gave you while I bore them。 You felt affection
for them； with all your aversion to me； and in spite of your ignoble
fears； which were momentarily allayed by your pleasure in seeing me lose
my symmetry。
〃Oh！ how often have I noticed that joy in you！ I have seen it in your
eyes and guessed it。 You loved your children as victories； and not
because they were of your own blood。 They were victories over me； over
my youth； over my beauty； over my charms； over the compliments which were
paid me and over those that were whispered around me without being paid
to me personally。 And you are proud of them； you make a parade of them；
you take them out for drives in your break in the Bois de Boulogne and
you give them donkey rides at Montmorency。 You take them to theatrical
matinees so that you may be seen in the midst of them； so that the people
may say： 'What a kind father' and that it may be repeated〃
He had seized her wrist with savage brutality； and he squeezed it so
violently that she was quiet and nearly cried out with the pain and he
said to her in a whisper：
〃I love my children； do you hear？ What you have just told me is
disgraceful in a mother。 But you belong to me； I am masteryour master
I can exact from you what I like and when I likeand I have the law…on
my side。〃
He was trying to crush her fingers in the strong grip of his large；
muscular hand； and she； livid with pain； tried in vain to free them from
that vise which was crushing them。 The agony made her breathe hard and
the tears came into her eyes。 〃You see that I am the master and the
stronger；〃 he said。 When he somewhat loosened his grip； she asked him：
〃Do you think that I am a religious woman？〃
He was surprised and stammered 〃Yes。〃
〃Do you think that I could lie if I swore to the truth of anything to you
before an altar on which Christ's body is？〃
〃No。〃
〃Will you go with me to some church？〃
〃What for？〃
〃You shall see。 Will you？〃
〃If you absolutely wish it； yes。〃
She raised her voice and said： 〃Philippe！〃 And the coachman； bending down
a little； without taking his eyes from his horses； seemed to turn his ear
alone toward his mistress； who continued： 〃Drive to St。 Philippe…du…
Roule。〃 And the…victoria； which had reached the entrance of the Bois de
Boulogne returned to Paris。
Husband and wife （did riot exchange a word further during the drive； and
when the carriage stopped before the church Madame de Mascaret jumped out
and entered it； followed by the count； a few yards distant。 She went；
without stopping； as far as the choir…screen； and falling on her knees at
a chair； she buried her face in her hands。 She prayed for a long time；
and he； standing behind her could see that she was crying。 She wept
noiselessly； as women weep when they are in great； poignant grief。 There
was a kind of undulation in her body； which ended in a little sob； which
was hidden and stifled by her fingers。
But the Comte de Mascaret thought that the situation was lasting too
long； and he touched her on the shoulder。 That contact recalled her to
herself； as if she had been burned； and getting up； she looked straight
into his eyes。 〃This is what I have to say to you。 I am afraid of
nothing； whatever you may do to me。 You may kill me if you like。 One of
your children is not yours； and one only； that I swear to you before God；
who hears me here。 That was the only revenge that was possible for me in
return for all your abominable masculine tyrannies； in return for the
penal servitude of childbearing to which you have condemned me。 Who was
my lover？ That you never will know！ You may suspect every one； but you
never will find out。 I gave myself to him； without love and without
pleasure； only for the sake of betraying you； and he also made me a
mother。 Which is the child？ That also you never will know。 I have
seven； try to find out！ I intended to tell you this later； for one has
not avenged oneself on a man by deceiving him； unless he knows it。 You
have driven me to confess it today。 I have now finished。〃
She hurried through the church toward the open door； expecting to hear
behind her the quick step： of her husband whom she had defied and to be
knocked to the ground by a blow of his fist； but she heard nothing and
reached her carriage。 She jumped into it at a bound； overwhelmed with
anguish and breathless with fear。 So she called out to the coachman：
〃Home！〃 and the horses set off at a quick trot。
II
The Comtesse de Mascaret was waiting in her room for dinner time as a
criminal sentenced to death awaits the hour of his execution。 What was
her husband going to do？ Had he come home？ Despotic； passionate； ready
for any violence as he was； what was he meditating； what had he made up
his mind to do？ There was no sound in the house； and every moment she
looked at the clock。 Her lady's maid had come and dressed her for the
evening and had then left the room again。 Eight o'clock struck and
almost at the same moment there were two knocks at the door； and the
butler came in and announced dinner。
〃Has the count come in？〃
〃Yes； Madame la Comtesse。 He is in the diningroom。〃
For a little moment she felt inclined to arm herself with a small
revolver which she had bought some time before； foreseeing the tragedy
which was being rehearsed in her heart。 But she remembered that all the
children would be there； and she took nothing except a bottle of smelling
salts。 He rose somewhat ceremoniously from his chair。 They exchanged a
slight bow and sat down。 The three boys with their tutor； Abbe Martin；
were on her right and the three girls； with Miss Smith； their English
governess； were on her left。 The youngest child； who was only three
months old； remained upstairs with his nurse。
The abbe said grace as usual when there was no company； for the children
did not come down