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the upright and recumbent stones。 Dr。 Laurie was； I think； a
Moderate： 'tis certain； at least； that he took a very Roman view of
deathbed dispositions； for he told the old man that he had lived
beyond man's natural years； that his life had been easy and
reputable； that his family had all grown up and been a credit to
his care； and that it now behoved him unregretfully to gird his
loins and follow the majority。 The grave…digger heard him out；
then he raised himself upon one elbow； and with the other hand
pointed through the window to the scene of his life…long labours。
〃Doctor；〃 he said； 〃I ha'e laid three hunner and fower…score in
that kirkyaird； an it had been His wull；〃 indicating Heaven； 〃I
would ha'e likit weel to ha'e made out the fower hunner。〃 But it
was not to be； this tragedian of the fifth act had now another part
to play； and the time had come when others were to gird and carry
him。
II
I would fain strike a note that should be more heroical； but the
ground of all youth's suffering； solitude； hysteria； and haunting
of the grave； is nothing else than naked； ignorant selfishness。 It
is himself that he sees dead； those are his virtues that are
forgotten； his is the vague epitaph。 Pity him but the more； if
pity be your cue； for where a man is all pride； vanity； and
personal aspiration； he goes through fire unshielded。 In every
part and corner of our life； to lose oneself is to be gainer； to
forget oneself is to be happy； and this poor； laughable and tragic
fool has not yet learned the rudiments； himself； giant Prometheus；
is still ironed on the peaks of Caucasus。 But by…and…by his truant
interests will leave that tortured body； slip abroad and gather
flowers。 Then shall death appear before him in an altered guise；
no longer as a doom peculiar to himself； whether fate's crowning
injustice or his own last vengeance upon those who fail to value
him； but now as a power that wounds him far more tenderly； not
without solemn compensations； taking and giving； bereaving and yet
storing up。
The first step for all is to learn to the dregs our own ignoble
fallibility。 When we have fallen through storey after storey of
our vanity and aspiration； and sit rueful among the ruins； then it
is that we begin to measure the stature of our friends： how they
stand between us and our own contempt； believing in our best； how；
linking us with others； and still spreading wide the influential
circle； they weave us in and in with the fabric of contemporary
life； and to what petty size they dwarf the virtues and the vices
that appeared gigantic in our youth。 So that at the last； when
such a pin falls out … when there vanishes in the least breath of
time one of those rich magazines of life on which we drew for our
supply … when he who had first dawned upon us as a face among the
faces of the city； and； still growing； came to bulk on our regard
with those clear features of the loved and living man； falls in a
breath to memory and shadow； there falls along with him a whole
wing of the palace of our life。
III
One such face I now remember； one such blank some half…a…dozen of
us labour to dissemble。 In his youth he was most beautiful in
person； most serene and genial by disposition； full of racy words
and quaint thoughts。 Laughter attended on his coming。 He had the
air of a great gentleman； jovial and royal with his equals； and to
the poorest student gentle and attentive。 Power seemed to reside
in him exhaustless； we saw him stoop to play with us； but held him
marked for higher destinies； we loved his notice； and I have rarely
had my pride more gratified than when he sat at my father's table；
my acknowledged friend。 So he walked among us； both hands full of
gifts； carrying with nonchalance the seeds of a most influential
life。
The powers and the ground of friendship is a mystery； but； looking
back； I can discern that； in part； we loved the thing he was； for
some shadow of what he was to be。 For with all his beauty； power；
breeding； urbanity and mirth； there was in those days something
soulless in our friend。 He would astonish us by sallies； witty；
innocent and inhumane； and by a misapplied Johnsonian pleasantry；
demolish honest sentiment。 I can still see and hear him； as he
went his way along the lamplit streets； LA CI DAREM LA MANO on his
lips； a noble figure of a youth； but following vanity and
incredulous of good； and sure enough； somewhere on the high seas of
life； with his health； his hopes； his patrimony and his self…
respect； miserably went down。
From this disaster； like a spent swimmer； he came desperately
ashore； bankrupt of money and consideration； creeping to the family
he had deserted； with broken wing； never more to rise。 But in his
face there was a light of knowledge that was new to it。 Of the
wounds of his body he was never healed； died of them gradually；
with clear…eyed resignation； of his wounded pride； we knew only
from his silence。 He returned to that city where he had lorded it
in his ambitious youth； lived there alone； seeing few； striving to
retrieve the irretrievable； at times still grappling with that
mortal frailty that had brought him down； still joying in his
friend's successes； his laugh still ready but with kindlier music；
and over all his thoughts the shadow of that unalterable law which
he had disavowed and which had brought him low。 Lastly； when his
bodily evils had quite disabled him； he lay a great while dying；
still without complaint； still finding interests； to his last step
gentle； urbane and with the will to smile。
The tale of this great failure is； to those who remained true to
him； the tale of a success。 In his youth he took thought for no
one but himself； when he came ashore again； his whole armada lost；
he seemed to think of none but others。 Such was his tenderness for
others； such his instinct of fine courtesy and pride； that of that
impure passion of remorse he never breathed a syllable； even regret
was rare with him； and pointed with a jest。 You would not have
dreamed； if you had known him then； that this was that great
failure； that beacon to young men； over whose fall a whole society
had hissed and pointed fingers。 Often have we gone to him； red…hot
with our own hopeful sorrows； railing on the rose…leaves in our
princely bed of life； and he would patiently give ear and wisely
counsel； and it was only upon some return of our own thoughts that
we were reminded what manner of man this was to whom we
disembosomed： a man； by his own fault； ruined； shut out of the
garden of his gifts； his whole city of hope both ploughed and
salted； silently awaiting the deliverer。 Then something took us by
the throat； and to see him there； so gentle； patient； brave and
pious； oppressed but not cast down； sorrow was so swallowed up in
ad