the secret places of the heart-第44章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


d　nothing　for　a　space。　〃I've　not　a　word　to　say　to…　night；〃　she　said。　〃I'm　just　full　of　a　sort　of　animal　satisfaction　in　being　close　to　you。　。　。　。　And　in　being　with　you　among　lovely　things。　。　。　。　SomewhereBefore　we　part　to…　night。　。　。　。　〃　〃Yes？〃　he　said　to　her　pause；　and　his　face　came　very　near　to　hers。　I　want　you　to　kiss　me。　〃　〃Yes；〃　he　said　awkwardly；　glancing　over　his　shoulder；　acutely　aware　of　the　promenaders　passing　close　to　them。　〃It's　a　promise？〃　〃Yes。〃　Very　timidly　and　guiltily　his　hand　sought　hers　beside　it　and　gripped　it　and　pressed　it。　〃My　dear！〃　he　whispered；　tritest　and　most　unavoidable　of　expressions。　It　was　not　very　like　Man　and　Woman　loving　upon　their　Planet；　it　was　much　more　like　the　shy　endearments　of　the　shop　boys　and　work　girls　who　made　the　darkling　populous　about　them　with　their　silent　interchanges。　〃There　are　a　thousand　things　I　want　to　talk　about　to　you；〃　she　said。　〃After　we　have　parted　to…morrow　I　shall　begin　to　think　of　them。　But　nowevery　rational　thing　seems　dissolved　in　this　moonlight。　。　。　。〃　Presently　she　made　an　effort　to　restore　the　intellectual　dignity　of　their　relationship。　〃I　suppose　I　ought　to　be　more　concerned　tonight　about　the　work　I　have　to　do　in　the　world　and　anxious　for　you　to　tell　me　this　and　that；　but　indeed　I　am　not　concerned　at　all　about　it。　I　seem　to　have　it　in　outline　all　perfectly　clear。　I　mean　to　play　a　man's　part　in　the　world　just　as　my　father　wants　me　to　do。　I　mean　to　win　his　confidence　and　work　with　himlike　a　partner。　Then　some　day　I　shall　be　a　power　in　the　world　of　fuel。　And　at　the　same　time　I　must　watch　and　read　and　think　and　learn　how　to　be　the　servant　of　the　world。　。　。　。　We　two　have　to　live　like　trusted　servants　who　have　been　made　guardians　of　a　helpless　minor。　We　have　to　put　things　in　order　and　keep　them　in　order　against　the　time　when　ManMan　whom　we　call　in　America　the　Common　Mancan　take　hold　of　his　world〃　〃And　release　his　servants；〃　said　Sir　Richmond。　〃All　that　is　perfectly　clear　in　my　mind。　That　is　what　I　am　going　to　live　for；　that　is　what　I　have　to　do。〃　She　stopped　abruptly。　〃All　that　is　about　as　interesting　to…　nightin　comparison　with　the　touch　of　your　dear　fingersas　next　month's　railway　time…table。〃　But　later　she　found　a　topic　that　could　hold　their　attention　for　a　time。　〃We　have　never　said　a　word　about　religion；〃　she　said。　Sir　Richmond　paused　for　a　moment。　〃I　am　a　godless　man；〃　he　said。　〃The　stars　and　space　and　time　overwhelm　my　imagination。　I　cannot　imagine　anything　above　or　beyond　them。〃　She　thought　that　over。　〃But　there　are　divine　things；〃　she　said。　〃YOU　are　divine。　。　。　。　I'm　not　talking　lovers'　nonsense；〃　he　hastened　to　add。　〃I　mean　that　there　is　something　about　human　beingsnot　just　the　everyday　stuff　of　them；　but　something　that　appears　intermittentlyas　though　a　light　shone　through　something　translucent。　If　I　believe　in　any　divinity　at　all　it　is　a　divinity　revealed　to　me　by　other　people　And　even　by　myself　in　my　own　heart。　〃I'm　never　surprised　at　the　badness　of　human　beings；〃　said　Sir　Richmond；　〃seeing　how　they　have　come　about　and　what　they　are；　but　I　have　been　surprised　time　after　time　by　fine　things　。　。　。　。　Often　in　people　I　disliked　or　thought　little　of　。　。　。　。　I　can　understand　that　I　find　you　full　of　divine　quality；　because　I　am　in　love　with　you　and　all　alive　to　you。　Necessarily　I　keep　on　discovering　loveliness　in　you。　But　I　have　seen　divine　things　in　dear　old　Martineau；　for　example。　A　vain　man；　fussy；　timidand　yet　filled　with　a　passion　for　truth；　ready　to　make　great　sacrifices　and　to　toil　tremendously　for　that。　And　in　those　men　I　am　always　cursing；　my　Committee；　it　is　astonishing　at　times　to　discover　what　streaks　of　goodness　even　the　really　bad　men　can　show。　。　。　。　But　one　can't　make　use　of　just　anyone's　divinity。　I　can　see　the　divinity　in　Martineau　but　it　leaves　me　cold。　He　tired　me　and　bored　me。　。　。　。　But　I　live　on　you。　It's　only　through　love　that　the　God　can　reach　over　from　one　human　being　to　another。　All　real　love　is　a　divine　thing；　a　reassurance；　a　release　of　courage。　It　is　wonderful　enough　that　we　should　take　food　and　drink　and　turn　them　into　imagination；　invention　and　creative　energy；　it　is　still　more　wonderful　that　we　should　take　an　animal　urging　and　turn　it　into　a　light　to　discover　beauty　and　an　impulse　towards　the　utmost　achievements　of　which　we　are　capable。　All　love　is　a　sacrament　and　all　lovers　are　priests　to　each　other。　You　and　I〃　Sir　Richmond　broke　off　abruptly。　〃I　spent　three　days　trying　to　tell　this　to　Dr。　Martineau。　But　he　wasn't　the　priest　I　had　to　confess　to　and　the　words　wouldn't　come。　I　can　confess　it　to　you　readily　enough　。　。　。　。〃　〃I　cannot　tell；〃　said　Miss　Grammont；　〃whether　this　is　the　last　wisdom　in　life　or　moonshine。　I　cannot　tell　whether　I　am　thinking　or　feeling；　but　the　noise　of　the　water　going　over　the　weir　below　is　like　the　stir　in　my　heart。　And　I　am　swimming　in　love　and　happiness。　Am　I　awake　or　am　I　dreaming　you；　and　are　we　dreaming　one　another？　Hold　my　handhold　it　hard　and　tight。　I'm　trembling　with　love　for　you　and　all　the　world。　。　。　。　If　I　say　more　I　shall　be　weeping。〃　For　a　long　time　they　stood　side　by　side　saying　not　a　word　to　one　another。　Presently　the　band　down　below　and　the　dancing　ceased　and　the　little　lights　were　extinguished。　The　silent　moon　seemed　to　grow　brighter　and　larger　and　the　whisper　of　the　waters　louder。　A　crowd　of　young　people　flowed　out　of　the　gardens　and　passed　by　on　their　way　home。　Sir　Richmond　and　Miss　Grammont　strolled　through　the　dispersing　crowd　and　over　the　Toll　Bridge　and　went　exploring　down　a　little　staircase　that　went　down　from　the　end　of　the　bridge　to　the　dark　river；　and　then　came　back　to　their　old　position　at　the　parapet　looking　upon　the　weir　and　the　Pulteney　Bridge。　The　gardens　that　had　been　so　gay　were　already　dark　and　silent　as　they　returned；　and　the　streets　echoed　emptily　to　the　few　people　who　were　still　abroad。　〃It's　the　most　beautiful　bridge　in　the　world；〃　said　Miss　Grammont；　and　gave　him　her　hand　again。　Some　deep…toned　clock　close　by　proclaimed　the　hour　eleven。　The　silence　healed　again。　〃Well？〃　said　Sir　Richmond。　〃Well？〃　said　Miss　Grammont　smiling　very　faintly。　〃I　suppose　we　must　go　out　of　all　this　beauty　now；　back　to　the　lights　of　the　hotel　and　the　watchful　eyes　of　your　dragon。　〃　〃She　has　not　been　a　very　exacting　dragon　so　far；　has　she？〃　〃She　is　a　miracle　of　tact。〃　〃She　does　not　really　watch。　But　she　is　curiousand　very　sympathetic。　〃　〃She　is　wonderful。〃　。　。　。　。　〃That　man　is　still　fishing；〃　said　Miss　Grammont。　For　a　time　she　peered　down　at　the　dark　figure　wading　in　the　foam　below　as　though　it　was　the　only　thing　of　interest　in　the　world。　Then　she　turned　to　Sir　Richmond。　〃I　would　trust　Belinda　with　my　life；　she　said。　〃And　anyhow…　nowwe　need　not　worry　about　Belinda。〃　Section　7　At　the　breakfast　table　it　was　Belinda　who　was　the　most　nervous　of　the　three；　the　most　moved；　the　most　disposed　to　throw　a　sacramental　air　over　their　last　meal　together。　Her　companions　had　passed　beyond　the　idea　of　separation；　it　was　as　if　they　now　cherished　a　secret　satisfaction　at　the　high　dignity　of　their　parting。　Belinda　in　some　way　perceived　they　had　become　different。　They　were　no　longer　tremulous　lovers；　they　seemed　sure　of　one　another　and　with　a　new　pride　in　their　bearing。　It　would　have　pleased　Belinda　better；　seeing　how