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In reaching it from Barbury Green； you take the first left…hand
road； go till you drop； and there you are。
It reminds me of my 〃grandmother's farm at Older。〃 Did you know
the song when you were a child？ …
My grandmother had a very fine farm
'Way down in the fields of Older。
With a cluck…cluck here；
And a cluck…cluck there；
Here and there a cluck…cluck；
Cluck…cluck here and there；
Down in the fields at Older。
It goes on for ever by the simple subterfuge of changing a few
words in each verse。
My grandmother had a very fine farm
'Way down in the fields of Older。
With a quack…quack here；
And a quack…quack there；
Here and there a quack…quack；
Quack…quack here and there；
Down in the fields at Older。
This is followed by the gobble…gobble； moo…moo； baa…baa； etc。； as
long as the laureate's imagination and the infant's breath hold
good。 The tune is pretty； and I do not know； or did not； when I
was young； a more fascinating lyric。
Thornycroft House must have belonged to a country gentleman once
upon a time； or to more than one； men who built on a bit here and
there once in a hundred years； until finally we have this
charmingly irregular and dilapidated whole。 You go up three steps
into Mrs。 Heaven's room； down two into mine； while Phoebe's is up
in a sort of turret with long； narrow lattices opening into the
creepers。 There are crooked little stair…cases； passages that
branch off into other passages and lead nowhere in particular； I
can't think of a better house in which to play hide and seek on a
wet day。 In front； what was once； doubtless； a green； is cut up
into greens； to wit； a vegetable garden； where the onions； turnips；
and potatoes grow cosily up to the very door…sill； the utilitarian
aspect of it all being varied by some scarlet…runners and a
scattering of poppies on either side of the path。
The Belgian hares have their habitation in a corner fifty feet
distant； one large enclosure for poultry lies just outside the
sweetbrier hedge； the others； with all the houses and coops； are in
the meadow at the back； where also our tumbler pigeons are kept。
Phoebe attends to the poultry； it is her department。 Mr。 Heaven
has neither the force nor the finesse required； and the gentle
reader who thinks these qualities unneeded in so humble a calling
has only to spend a few days at Thornycroft to be convinced。 Mrs。
Heaven would be of use； but she is dressing the Square Baby in the
morning and putting him to bed at night just at the hours when the
feathered young things are undergoing the same operation。
A Goose Girl； like a poet； is sometimes born； sometimes otherwise。
I am of the born variety。 No training was necessary； I put my head
on my pillow as a complicated product of modern civilisation on a
Tuesday night； and on a Wednesday morning I awoke as a Goose Girl。
My destiny slumbered during the day； but at eight o'clock I heard a
terrific squawking in the direction of the duck…ponds； and；
aimlessly drifting in that direction； I came upon Phoebe trying to
induce ducks and drakes； geese and ganders； to retire for the
night。 They have to be driven into enclosures behind fences of
wire netting； fastened into little rat…proof boxes； or shut into
separate coops； so as to be safe from their natural enemies； the
rats and foxes； which； obeying； I suppose； the law of supply and
demand； abound in this neighbourhood。 The old ganders are allowed
their liberty； being of such age； discretion； sagacity； and
pugnacity that they can be trusted to fight their own battles。
The intelligence of hens； though modest； is of such an order that
it prompts them to go to bed at a virtuous hour of their own
accord； but ducks and geese have to be materially assisted； or I
believe they would roam till morning。 Never did small boy detest
and resist being carried off to his nursery as these dullards；
young and old； detest and resist being driven to theirs。 Whether
they suffer from insomnia； or nightmare； or whether they simply
prefer the sweet air of liberty （and death） to the odour of
captivity and the coop； I have no means of knowing。
Phoebe stood by one of the duck…ponds； a long pole in her hand； and
a helpless expression in that doughlike countenance of hers； where
aimless contours and features unite to make a kind of facial blur。
（What does the carrier see in it？） The pole was not long enough to
reach the ducks； and Phoebe's method lacked spirit and adroitness；
so that it was natural； perhaps； that they refused to leave the
water； the evening being warm； with an uncommon fine sunset。
I saw the situation at once and ran to meet it with a glow of
interest and anticipation。 If there is anything in the world I
enjoy； it is making somebody do something that he doesn't want to
do； and if； when victory perches upon my banner； the somebody can
be brought to say that he ought to have done it without my making
him； that adds the unforgettable touch to pleasure； though seldom；
alas！ does it happen。 Then ensued the delightful and stimulating
hour that has now become a feature of the day； an hour in which the
remembrance of the table…d'hote dinner at the Hydro； going on at
identically the same time； only stirs me to a keener joy and
gratitude。
The ducks swim round in circles； hide under the willows； and
attempt to creep into the rat…holes in the banks； a stupidity so
crass that it merits instant death； which it somehow always
escapes。 Then they come out in couples and waddle under the wrong
fence into the lower meadow； fly madly under the tool…house； pitch
blindly in with the sitting hens； and out again in short order； all
the time quacking and squawking； honking and hissing like a
bewildered orchestra。 By dint of splashing the water with poles；
throwing pebbles； beating the shrubs at the pond's edges； 〃shooing〃
frantically with our skirts； crawling beneath bars to head them
off； and prodding them from under bushes to urge them on； we
finally get the older ones out of the water and the younger ones
into some sort of relation to their various retreats； but； owing to
their lack of geography； hatred of home； and general recalcitrancy；
they none of them turn up in the right place and have to be sorted
out。 We uncover the top of the little house； or the enclosure as
it may be； or reach in at the door； and； seizing the struggling
victim； drag him forth and take him where he should have had the
wit to go in the first instance。 The weak ones get in with the
strong and are in danger of being trampled； two May goslings that
look almost full…grown have run into a house with a brood of
ducklings a week old。 There are twenty…seven crowded into one
coop； five in another； nineteen in another； the gosling with one
leg has to come out； and the duckling threatened with the gapes；
their place is with the 〃invaleeds；〃 as Phoebe calls them； but they
never learn the location of the hospital； nor have the slightest
scruple about spreading contagious diseases。
Finally； when we have separated and sorted exhaustively； an
operation in which Phoebe shows a delicacy of discrimination and a
fearlessness of attack amounting to genius； we cou