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the worst too young。 And now I know the worst too old。 But there was
a time； alas all too short； when I knew； the best。
〃I； too； kiss my hand to the Princess of my heart。 She was truly a
princess； Polynesian； a thousand miles and more away to the eastward and
the south from Delaney's Isle of Love。 The natives of all around that part
of the South Seas called it the Jolly Island。 Their own name； the name of
the people who dwelt thereon； translates delicately and justly into 'The
Island of Tranquil Laughter。' On the chart you will find the erroneous
name given to it by the old navigators to be Manatomana。 The seafaring
gentry the round ocean around called it the Adamless Eden。 And the
missionaries for a time called it God's Witness … so great had been their
success at converting the inhabitants。 As for me； it was； and ever shall be；
Paradise。
〃It was MY Paradise； for it was there my Princess lived。 John Asibeli
Tungi was king。 He was full…blooded native； descended out of the oldest
and highest chief…stock that traced back to Manua which was the primeval
sea home of the race。 Also was he known as John the Apostate。 He
lived a long life and apostasized frequently。 First converted by the
Catholics； he threw down the idols； broke the tabus； cleaned out the native
priests； executed a few of the recalcitrant ones； and sent all his subjects to
church。
〃Next he fell for the traders； who developed in him a champagne thirst；
and he shipped off the Catholic priests to New Zealand。 The great majority
of his subjects always followed his lead； and； having no religion at all；
ensued the time of the Great Licentiousness； when by all South Seas
missionaries his island； in sermons； was spoken of as Babylon。
〃But the traders ruined his digestion with too much champagne； and
after several years he fell for the Gospel according to the Methodists； sent
his people to church； and cleaned up the beach and the trading crowd so
spick and span that he would not permit them to smoke a pipe out of doors
on Sunday； and； fined one of the chief traders one hundred gold sovereigns
for washing his schooner's decks on the Sabbath morn。
〃That was the time of the Blue Laws； but perhaps it was too rigorous
for King John。 Off he packed the Methodists； one fine day； exiled
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several hundred of his people to Samoa for sticking to Methodism； and； of
all things； invented a religion of his own； with himself the figure…head of
worship。 In this he was aided and abetted by a renegade Fijian。 This
lasted five years。 Maybe he grew tired of being God； or maybe it was
because the Fijian decamped with the six thousand pounds in the royal
treasury； but at any rate the Second Reformed Wesleyans got him； and his
entire kingdom went Wesleyan。 The pioneer Wesleyan missionary he
actually made prime minister； and what he did to the trading crowd was a
caution。 Why； in the end； King John's kingdom was blacklisted and
boycotted by the traders till the revenues diminished to zero； the people
went bankrupt； and King John couldn't borrow a shilling from his most
powerful chief。
〃By this time he was getting old； and philosophic； and tolerant； and
spiritually atavistic。 He fired out the Second Reformed Wesleyans；
called back the exiles from Samoa； invited in the traders； held a general
love…feast； took the lid off； proclaimed religious liberty and high tariff； and
as for himself went back to the worship of his ancestors； dug up the idols；
reinstated a few octogenarian priests； and observed the tabus。 All of
which was lovely for the traders； and prosperity reigned。 Of course； most
of his subjects followed him back into heathen worship。 Yet quite a
sprinkling of Catholics； Methodists and Wesleyans remained true to their
beliefs and managed to maintain a few squalid； one…horse churches。 But
King John didn't mind； any more than did he the high times of the traders
along the beach。 Everything went； so long as the taxes were paid。 Even
when his wife； Queen Mamare； elected to become a Baptist； and invited in
a little； weazened； sweet… spirited； club…footed Baptist missionary； King
John did not object。 All he insisted on was that these wandering religions
should be self…supporting and not feed a pennyworth's out of the royal
coffers。
〃And now the threads of my recital draw together in the paragon of
female exquisiteness … my Princess。〃
Whiskers paused； placed carefully on the ground his half…full
condensed milk can with which he had been absently toying； and kissed
the fingers of his one hand audibly aloft。
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〃She was the daughter of Queen Mamare。 She was the woman
wonderful。 Unlike the Diana type of Polynesian； she was almost ethereal。
She WAS ethereal； sublimated by purity； as shy and modest as a violet； as
fragile…slender as a lily； and her eyes； luminous and shrinking tender； were
as asphodels on the sward of heaven。 She was all flower； and fire； and
dew。 Hers was the sweetness of the mountain rose； the gentleness of the
dove。 And she was all of good as well as all of beauty； devout in her
belief in her mother's worship； which was the worship introduced by
Ebenezer Naismith； the Baptist missionary。 But make no mistake。 She
was no mere sweet spirit ripe for the bosom of Abraham。 All of exquisite
deliciousness of woman was she。 She was woman； all woman； to the last
sensitive quivering atom of her …
〃And I？ I was a wastrel of the beach。 The wildest was not so wild
as I； the keenest not so keen； of all that wild； keen trading crowd。 It was
esteemed I played the stiffest hand of poker。 I was the only living man；
white； brown； or black； who dared run the Kuni…kuni Passage in the dark。
And on a black night I have done it under reefs in a gale of wind。 Well；
anyway； I had a