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〃I think;〃 said Trefusis; after a moment's reflection; 〃I will
order a hansom。〃
〃There is no ill…feeling;〃 said the doctor; who; as a slow man;
was usually alarmed by prompt decisions; even when they seemed
wise to him; as this one did。 〃I hope you have not gathered from
anything I have said〃
〃Not at all; you have displayed the utmost tact。 But I think I
had better go。 Jansenius can bear death and misery with perfect
fortitude when it is on a large scale and hidden in a back slum。
But when it breaks into his own house; and attacks his
propertyhis daughter was his property until very recently he
is just the man to lose his head and quarrel with me for keeping
mine。〃
The doctor was unable to cope with this speech; which conveyed
vaguely monstrous ideas to him。 Seeing Trefusis about to leave;
he said in a low voice: 〃Will you go upstairs?〃
〃Upstairs! Why?〃
〃II thought you might wish to see〃 He did not finish the
sentence; but Trefusis flinched; the blank had expressed what was
meant。
〃To see something that was Henrietta; and that is a thing we must
cast out and hide; with a little superstitious mumming to save
appearances。 Why did you remind me of it?〃
〃But; sir; whatever your views may be; will you not; as a matter
of form; in deference to the feelings of the family〃
〃Let them spare their feelings for the living; on whose behalf I
have often appealed to them in vain;〃 cried Trefusis; losing
patience。 〃Damn their feelings!〃 And; turning to the door; he
found it open; and Mrs。 Jansenius there listening。
Trefusis was confounded。 He knew what the effect of his speech
must be; and felt that it would be folly to attempt excuse or
explanation。 He put his hands into his pockets; leaned against
the table; and looked at her; mutely wondering what would follow
on her part。
The doctor broke the silence by saying tremulously; 〃I have
communicated the melancholy intelligence to Mr。 Trefusis。〃
〃I hope you told him also;〃 she said sternly; 〃that; however
deficient we may be in feeling; we did everything that lay in our
power for our child。〃
〃I am quite satisfied;〃 said Trefusis。
〃No doubt you arewith the result;〃 said Mrs。 Jansenius; hardly。
〃I wish to know whether you have anything to complain of。〃
〃Nothing。〃
〃Please do not imply that anything has happened through our
neglect。〃
〃What have I to complain of? She had a warm room and a luxurious
bed to die in; with the best medical advice in the world。 Plenty
of people are starving and freezing to…day that we may have the
means to die fashionably; ask THEM if they have any cause for
complaint。 Do you think I will wrangle over her body about the
amount of money spent on her illness? What measure is that of the
cause she had for complaint? I never grudged money to herhow
could I; seeing that more than I can waste is given to me for
nothing? Or how could you? Yet she had great reason to complain
of me。 You will allow that to be so。〃
〃It is perfectly true。〃
〃Well; when I am in the humor for it; I will reproach myself and
not you。〃 He paused; and then turned forcibly on her; saying;
〃Why do you select this time; of all others; to speak so bitterly
to me?〃
〃I am not aware that I have said anything to call for such a
remark。 Did YOU;〃 (appealing to the doctor) 〃hear me say
anything?〃
〃Mr。 Trefusis does not mean to say that you did; I am sure。 Oh;
no。 Mr。 Trefusis's feelings are naturallyare harrowed。 That is
all。〃
〃My feelings!〃 cried Trefusis impatiently。 〃Do you suppose my
feelings are a trumpery set of social observances; to be harrowed
to order and exhibited at funerals? She has gone as we three
shall go soon enough。 If we were immortal; we might reasonably
pity the dead。 As we are not; we had better save our energies to
minimize the harm we are likely to do before we follow her。〃
The doctor was deeply offended by this speech; for the statement
that he should one day die seemed to him a reflection upon his
professional mastery over death。 Mrs。 Jansenius was glad to see
Trefusis confirming her bad opinion and report of him by his
conduct and language in the doctor's presence。 There was a brief
pause; and then Trefusis; too far out of sympathy with them to be
able to lead the conversation into a kinder vein; left the room。
In the act of putting on his overcoat in the hall; he hesitated;
and hung it up again irresolutely。 Suddenly he ran upstairs。 At
the sound of his steps a woman came from one of the rooms and
looked inquiringly at him。
〃Is it here?〃 he said。
〃Yes; sir;〃 she whispered。
A painful sense of constriction came in his chest; and he turned
pale and stopped with his hand on the lock。
〃Don't be afraid; sir;〃 said the woman; with an encouraging
smile。 〃She looks beautiful。〃
He looked at her with a strange grin; as if she had uttered a
ghastly but irresistible joke。 Then he went in; and; when he
reached the bed; wished he had stayed without。 He was not one of
those who; seeing little in the faces of the living miss little
in the faces of the dead。 The arrangement of the black hair on
the pillow; the soft drapery; and the flowers placed there by the
nurse to complete the artistic effect to which she had so
confidently referred; were lost on him; he saw only a lifeless
mask that had been his wife's face; and at sight of it his knees
failed; and he had to lean for support on the rail at the foot of
the bed。
When he looked again the face seemed to have changed。 It was no
longer a waxlike mask; but Henrietta; girlish and pathetically at
rest。 Death seemed to have cancelled her marriage and womanhood;
he had never seen her look so young。 A minute passed; and then a
tear dropped on the coverlet。 He started; shook another tear on
his hand; and stared at it incredulously。
〃This is a fraud of which I have never even dreamed;〃 he said。
〃Tears and no sorrow! Here am I crying! growing maudlin! whilst I
am glad that she is gone and I free。 I have the mechanism of
grief in me somewhere; it begins to turn at sight of her though I
have no sorrow; just as she used to start the mechanism of
passion when I had no love。 And that made no difference to her;
whilst the wheels went round she was satisfied。 I hope the
mechanism of grief will flag and stop in its spinning as soon as
the other used to。 It is stopping already; I think。 What a
mockery! Whilst it lasts I suppose I am really sorry。 And yet;
would I restore her to life if I could? Perhaps so; I am
therefore thankful that I cannot。〃 He folded his arms on the rail
and gravely addressed the dead figure; which still affected him
so strongly that he had to exert his will to face it with
composure。 〃If you really loved me; it is well for you that you
are deadidiot that I was to believe that the passion you could
inspire; you poor child; would last。 We are both lucky; I have
escaped from you; and you have escaped from yourself。〃
Presently he breathed more freely and looked round the room to
help himself into a matter…of…fact vein by a little unembarrassed
action; and the commonplace aspect of the bedroom furniture。 He
went to the pillow; and bent over it; examining the face closely。
〃Po