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propose a special vote that would cover all expenses； if it were
not that； as Leader of the Opposition； it would be my duty to
resist it； tooth and nail。 Or； as Paymaster General； I could so
cook the accounts that； as Lord High Auditor； I should never
discover the fraud。 But then； as Archbishop of Titipu； it would
be my duty to denounce my dishonesty and give myself into my own
custody as first Commissioner of Police。
KO。 That's extremely awkward。
POOH。 I don't say that all these distinguished people
couldn't be squared； but it is right to tell you that they
wouldn't be sufficiently degraded in their own estimation unless
they were insulted with a very considerable bribe。
KO。 The matter shall have my careful consideration。 But my
bride and her sisters approach； and any little compliment on your
part； such as an abject grovel in a characteristic Japanese
attitude； would be esteemed a favour。
POOH。 No money； no grovel！
＇Exeunt
together。
Enter procession of Yum…Yum's schoolfellows； heralding Yum…Yum；
Peep…Bo； and Pitti…Sing。
CHORUS OF GIRLS。
Comes a train of little ladies
From scholastic trammels free；
Each a little bit afraid is；
Wondering what the world can be！
Is it but a world of trouble
Sadness set to song？
Is its beauty but a bubble
Bound to break ere long？
Are its palaces and pleasures
Fantasies that fade？
And the glory of its treasures
Shadow of a shade？
Schoolgirls we； eighteen and under；
From scholastic trammels free；
And we wonderhow we wonder！
What on earth the world can be！
TRIO。
YUM…YUM； PEEP…BO； and PITTI…SING； with CHORUS OF GIRLS。
THE THREE。 Three little maids from school are we；
Pert as a school…girl well can be；
Filled to the brim with girlish glee；
Three little maids from school！
YUM…YUM。 Everything is a source of fun。 （Chuckle。）
PEEP…BO。 Nobody's safe； for we care for none！ （Chuckle。）
PITTI…SING。 Life is a joke that's just begun！ （Chuckle。）
THE THREE。 Three little maids from school！
ALL （dancing）。 Three little maids who； all unwary；
Come from a ladies' seminary；
Freed from its genius tutelary
THE THREE （suddenly demure）。 Three little maids from school！
YUM…YUM。 One little maid is a bride； Yum…Yum
PEEP…BO。 Two little maids in attendance come
PITTI…SING。 Three little maids is the total sum。
THE THREE。 Three little maids from school！
YUM…YUM。 From three little maids take one away。
PEEP…BO。 Two little maids remain； and they
PITTI…SING。 Won't have to wait very long； they say
THE THREE。 Three little maids from school！
ALL （dancing）。 Three little maids who； all unwary；
Come from a ladies' seminary；
Freed from its genius tutelary
THE THREE （suddenly demure）。 Three little maids from school！
Enter Ko…Ko and Pooh…Bah。
KO。 At last； my bride that is to be！ （About to embrace
her。）
YUM。 You're not going to kiss me before all these people？
KO。 Well； that was the idea。
YUM （aside to Peep…Bo）。 It seems odd； doesn't it？
PEEP。 It's rather peculiar。
PITTI。 Oh； I expect it's all right。 Must have a beginning；
you know。
YUM。 Well； of course I know nothing about these things； but
I've no objection if it's usual。
KO。 Oh； it's quite usual； I think。 Eh； Lord Chamberlain？
（Appealing to Pooh…Bah。）
POOH。 I have known it done。 （Ko…Ko embraces her。）
YUM。 Thank goodness that's over！ （Sees Nanki…Poo； and
rushes to him。） Why； that's never you？ （The three Girls rush to
him and shake his hands； all speaking at once。）
YUM。 Oh； I'm so glad！ I haven't seen you for ever so long；
and I'm right at the top of the school； and I've got three
prizes； and I've come home for good； and I'm not going back any
more！
PEEP。 And have you got an engagement？Yum…Yum's got one；
but she doesn't like it； and she'd ever so much rather it was
you！ I've come home for good； and I'm not going back any more！
PITTI。 Now tell us all the news； because you go about
everywhere； and we've been at school； but； thank goodness； that's
all over now； and we've come home for good； and we're not going
back any more！
（These three speeches are spoken together in one breath。）
KO。 I beg your pardon。 Will you present me？
YUM。 Oh； this is the musician who used
PEEP。 Oh； this is the gentleman…who used
PITTI。 Oh； it is only Nanki…Poo who used
KO。 One at a time； if you please。
YUM。 Oh； if you please he's the gentleman who used to play
so beautifully on theon the
PITTI。 On the Marine Parade。
YUM。 Yes； I think that was the name of the instrument。
NANK。 Sir； I have the misfortune to love your ward；
Yum…Yumoh； I know I deserve your anger！
KO。 Anger！ not a bit； my boy。 Why； I love her myself。
Charming little girl； isn't she？ Pretty eyes； nice hair。 Taking
little thing； altogether。 Very glad to hear my opinion backed by
a competent authority。 Thank you very much。 Good…bye。 （To
Pish…Tush。） Take him away。 （Pish…Tush removes him。）
PITTI （who has been examining Pooh…Bah）。 I beg your pardon；
but what is this？ Customer come to try on？
KO。 That is a Tremendous Swell。
PITTI。 Oh； it's alive。 （She starts back in alarm。）
POOH。 Go away； little girls。 Can't talk to little girls
like you。 Go away； there's dears。
KO。 Allow me to present you； Pooh…Bah。 These are my three
wards。 The one in the middle is my bride elect。
POOH。 What do you want me to do to them？ Mind； I will not
kiss them。
KO。 No； no； you shan't kiss them； a little bowa mere
nothingyou needn't mean it； you know。
POOH。 It goes against the grain。 They are not young
ladies； they are young persons。
KO。 Come； come； make an effort； there's a good nobleman。
POOH。 （aside to Ko…Ko）。 Well； I shan't mean it。 （with a
great effort。） How de do； little girls； how de do？ （Aside。）
Oh； my protoplasmal ancestor！
KO。 That's very good。 （Girls indulge in suppressed
laughter。）
POOH。 I see nothing to laugh at。 It is very painful to me
to have to say 〃How de do； little girls； how de do？〃 to young
persons。 I'm not in the habit of saying 〃How de do； little
girls； how de do？〃 to anybody under the rank of a Stockbroker。
KO。 （aside to girls）。 Don't laugh at him； he can't help
ithe's under treatment for it。 （Aside to Pooh…Bah。） Never mind
them； they don't underst