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ROSE。 What makes you think that？
MAR。 Hush！ They sing choruses in public。 That's mad
enough； I think。 Gohide away； or they will seize you！ Hush！
Quite softlyquite； quite softly！
（Exeunt together； on tiptoe。）
（Enter Chorus of Bucks and Blades； heralded by Chorus of
Bridesmaids。）
CHORUS OF BRIDESMAIDS。
Welcome； gentry；
For your entry
Sets our tender hearts a…beating。
Men of station；
Admiration
Prompts this unaffected greeting。
Hearty greeting offer we！
CHORUS OF BUCKS AND BLADES。
When thoroughly tired
Of being admired；
By ladies of gentle degreedegree；
With flattery sated；
High…flown and inflated；
Away from the city we fleewe flee！
From charms intramural
To prettiness rural
The sudden transition
Is simply Elysian；
So come； Amaryllis；
Come； Chloe and Phyllis；
Your slaves； for the moment； are we！
ALL。 From charms intramural； etc。
CHORUS OF BRIDESMAIDS。
The sons of the tillage
Who dwell in this village
Are people of lowly degreedegree。
Though honest and active；
They're most unattractive；
And awkward as awkward can becan be。
They're clumsy clodhoppers
With axes and choppers；
And shepherds and ploughmen
And drovers and cowmen；
And hedgers and reapers
And carters and keepers；
But never a lover for me！
ENSEMBLE。
BRIDESMAIDS。 BUCKS AND BLADES。
So welcome gentry； etc。 When thoroughly tired； etc。
（Enter Sir Despard Murgatroyd。）
SONG AND CHORUSSIR DESPARD。
SIR D。 Oh； why am I moody and sad？
CH。 Can't guess！
SIR D。 And why am I guiltily mad？
CH。 Confess！
SIR D。 Because I am thoroughly bad！
CH。 Oh yes
SIR D。 You'll see it at once in my face。
Oh； why am I husky and hoarse？
CH。 Ah； why？
SIR D。 It's the workings of conscience； of course。
CH。 Fie； fie！
SIR D。 And huskiness stands for remorse；
CH。 Oh my！
SIR D。 At least it does so in my case！
SIR D。 When in crime one is fully employed
CH。 Like you
SIR D。 Your expression gets warped and destroyed：
CH。 It do。
SIR D。 It's a penalty none can avoid；
CH。 How true！
SIR D。 I once was a nice…looking youth；
But like stone from a strong catapult
CH。 （explaining to each other）。 A trice
SIR D。 I rushed at my terrible cult
CH。 （explaining to each other）。 That's vice
SIR D。 Observe the unpleasant result！
CH。 Not nice。
SIR D。 Indeed I am telling the truth！
SIR D。 Oh； innocent； happy though poor！
CH。 That's we
SIR D。 If I had been virtuous； I'm sure
CH。 Like me
SIR D。 I should be as nice…looking as you're！
CH。 May be。
SIR D。 You are very nice…looking indeed！
Oh； innocents； listen in time
CH。 We doe；
SIR D。 Avoid an existence of crime
CH。 Just so
SIR D。 Or you'll be as ugly as I'm
CH。 （loudly）。 No！ No！
SIR D。 And now； if you please； we'll proceed。
（All the girls express their horror of Sir Despard。 As he
approaches them they fly from him； terror…stricken； leaving
him alone on the stage。）
SIR D。 Poor children； how they loathe meme whose hands
are certainly steeped in infamy； but whose heart is as the heart
of a little child！ But what is a poor baronet to do； when a
whole picture gallery of ancestors step down from their frames
and threaten him with an excruciating death if he hesitate to
commit his daily crime？ But ha！ ha！ I am even with them！
（Mysteriously。） I get my crime over the first thing in the
morning； and then； ha！ ha！ for the rest of the day I do goodI
do goodI do good！ （Melodramatically。） Two days since； I stole
a child and built an orphan asylum。 Yesterday I robbed a bank
and endowed a bishopric。 To…day I carry off Rose Maybud and
atone with a cathedral！ This is what it is to be the sport and
toy of a Picture Gallery！ But I will be bitterly revenged upon
them！ I will give them all to the Nation； and nobody shall ever
look upon their faces again！
（Enter Richard。）
RICH。 Ax your honour's pardon； but
SIR D。 Ha！ observed！ And by a mariner！ What would you
with me； fellow？
RICH。 Your honour； I'm a poor man…o'…war's…man； becalmed in
the doldrums
SIR D。 I don't know them。
RICH。 And I make bold to ax your honour's advice。 Does
your honour know what it is to have a heart？
SIR D。 My honour knows what it is to have a complete
apparatus for conducting the circulation of the blood through the
veins and arteries of the human body。
RICH。 Aye； but has your honour a heart that ups and looks
you in the face； and gives you quarter…deck orders that it's life
and death to disobey？
SIR D。 I have not a heart of that description； but I have a
Picture Gallery that presumes to take that liberty。
RICH。 Well； your honour； it's like thisYour honour had an
elder brother
SIR D。 It had。
RICH。 Who should have inherited your title and； with it；
its cuss。
SIR D。 Aye； but he died。 Oh； Ruthven！
RICH。 He didn't。
SIR D。 He did not？
RICH。 He didn't。 On the contrary； he lives in this here
very village； under the name of Robin Oakapple； and he's a…going
to marry Rose Maybud this very day。
SIR D。 Ruthven alive； and going to marry Rose Maybud！ Can
this be possible？
RICH。 Now the question I was going to ask your honour is…
…Ought I to tell your honour this？
SIR D。 I don't know。 It's a delicate point。 I think you
ought。 Mind； I'm not sure； but I think so。
RICH。 That's what my heart says。 It says； 〃Dick；〃 it says
（it calls me Dick acos it's entitled to take that liberty）； 〃that