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as housekeeping。〃
〃No sort of boarding can be the same as house…keeping；〃 said March。
〃I want my little girl to have the run of a kitchen； and I want the whole
family to have the moral effect of housekeeping。 It's demoralizing to
board； in every way； it isn't a home； if anybody else takes the care of
it off your hands。〃
〃Well； I suppose so；〃 Fulkerson assented； but March's words had a hollow
ring to himself； and in his own mind he began to retaliate his
dissatisfaction upon Fulkerson。
He parted from him on the usual terms outwardly； but he felt obscurely
abused by Fulkerson in regard to the Dryfooses； father and son。 He did
not know but Fulkerson had taken an advantage of him in allowing him to
commit himself to their enterprise with out fully and frankly telling him
who and what his backer was； he perceived that with young Dryfoos as the
publisher and Fulkerson as the general director of the paper there might
be very little play for his own ideas of its conduct。 Perhaps it was the
hurt to his vanity involved by the recognition of this fact that made him
forget how little choice he really had in the matter； and how； since he
had not accepted the offer to edit the insurance paper； nothing remained
for him but to close with Fulkerson。 In this moment of suspicion and
resentment he accused Fulkerson of hastening his decision in regard to
the Grosvenor Green apartment； he now refused to consider it a decision；
and said to himself that if he felt disposed to do so he would send Mrs。
Green a note reversing it in the morning。 But he put it all off till
morning with his clothes； when he went to bed； he put off even thinking
what his wife would say； he cast Fulkerson and his constructive treachery
out of his mind； too； and invited into it some pensive reveries of the
past； when he still stood at the parting of the ways； and could take this
path or that。 In his middle life this was not possible； he must follow
the path chosen long； ago； wherever； it led。 He was not master of
himself； as he once seemed； but the servant of those he loved； if he
could do what he liked； perhaps he might renounce this whole New York
enterprise； and go off somewhere out of the reach of care； but he could
not do what he liked； that was very clear。 In the pathos of this
conviction he dwelt compassionately upon the thought of poor old Lindau；
he resolved to make him accept a handsome sum of moneymore than he
could spare； something that he would feel the loss ofin payment of the
lessons in German and fencing given so long ago。 At the usual rate for
such lessons； his debt； with interest for twenty…odd years； would run
very far into the hundreds。 Too far； he perceived； for his wife's joyous
approval； he determined not to add the interest； or he believed that
Lindau would refuse the interest； he put a fine speech in his mouth；
making him do so； and after that he got Lindau employment on 'Every Other
Week；' and took care of him till he died。
Through all his melancholy and munificence he was aware of sordid
anxieties for having taken the Grosvenor Green apartment。 These began to
assume visible； tangible shapes as he drowsed； and to became personal
entities； from which he woke； with little starts； to a realization of
their true nature； and then suddenly fell fast asleep。
In the accomplishment of the events which his reverie played with； there
was much that retroactively stamped it with prophecy； but much also that
was better than he forboded。 He found that with regard to the Grosvenor
Green apartment he had not allowed for his wife's willingness to get any
sort of roof over her head again after the removal from their old home；
or for the alleviations that grow up through mere custom。 The practical
workings of the apartment were not so bad； it had its good points； and
after the first sensation of oppression in it they began to feel the
convenience of its arrangement。 They were at that time of life when
people first turn to their children's opinion with deference； and； in the
loss of keenness in their own likes and dislikes； consult the young
preferences which are still so sensitive。 It went far to reconcile Mrs。
March to the apartment that her children were pleased with its novelty；
when this wore off for them； she had herself begun to find it much more
easily manageable than a house。 After she had put away several barrels
of gimcracks； and folded up screens and rugs and skins； and carried them
all off to the little dark store…room which the flat developed； she
perceived at once a roominess and coziness in it unsuspected before。
Then； when people began to call； she had a pleasure； a superiority； in
saying that it was a furnished apartment； and in disclaiming all
responsibility for the upholstery and decoration。 If March was by； she
always explained that it was Mr。 March's fancy； and amiably laughed it
off with her callers as a mannish eccentricity。 Nobody really seemed to
think it otherwise than pretty； and this again was a triumph for Mrs。
March； because it showed how inferior the New York taste was to the
Boston taste in such matters。
March submitted silently to his punishment； and laughed with her before
company at his own eccentricity。 She had been so preoccupied with the
adjustment of the family to its new quarters and circumstances that the
time passed for laying his misgivings； if they were misgivings； about
Fulkerson before her； and when an occasion came for expressing them they
had themselves passed in the anxieties of getting forward the first
number of 'Every Other Week。' He kept these from her； too； and the
business that brought them to New York had apparently dropped into
abeyance before the questions of domestic economy that presented and
absented themselves。 March knew his wife to be a woman of good mind and
in perfect sympathy with him； but he understood the limitations of her
perspective； and if he was not too wise； he was too experienced to
intrude upon it any affairs of his till her own were reduced to the right
order and proportion。 It would have been folly to talk to her of
Fulkerson's conjecturable uncandor while she was in doubt whether her
cook would like the kitchen； or her two servants would consent to room
together； and till it was decided what school Tom should go to； and
whether Bella should have lessons at home or not； the relation which
March was to bear to the Dryfooses； as owner and publisher； was not to be
discussed with his wife。 He might drag it in； but he was aware that with
her mind distracted by more immediate interests he could not get from her
that judgment； that reasoned divination； which he relied upon so much。
She would try； she would do her best； but the result would be a view
clouded and discolored by the effort she must make。
He put the whole matter by； and gave himself to the details of the work
before him。 In this he found not only escape； but reassurance； for it
became more and more apparent that whatever was nominally the structure
of the business； a man of his qualifications and his instincts could not
have an insignificant place in it。 He had also the consolation of liking
his work；