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and between； but small thanks for my labour。 TROILUS。 What； art thou
angry； Pandarus？ What； with me？ PANDARUS。 Because she's kin to me；
therefore she's not so fair as Helen。 An she were not kin to me； she would
be as fair a Friday as Helen is on Sunday。 But what care I？ I care not an
she were a blackamoor； 'tis all one to me。 TROILUS。 Say I she is not fair？
PANDARUS。 I do not care whether you do or no。 She's a fool to stay
behind her father。 Let her to the Greeks； and so I'll tell her the next time I
see her。 For my part； I'll meddle nor make no more i' th' matter。 TROILUS。
Pandarus！ PANDARUS。 Not I。 TROILUS。 Sweet Pandarus！ PANDARUS。
Pray you； speak no more to me： I will leave all as I found it； and there an
end。 Exit。 Sound alarum TROILUS。 Peace； you ungracious clamours！
Peace； rude sounds！ Fools on both sides！ Helen must needs be fair； When
with your blood you daily paint her thus。 I cannot fight upon this argument；
It is too starv'd a subject for my sword。 But Pandarus…O gods； how do you
plague me！ I cannot come to Cressid but by Pandar； And he's as tetchy to
be woo'd to woo As she is stubborn…chaste against all suit。 Tell me； Apollo；
for thy Daphne's love； What Cressid is； what Pandar； and what we？ Her
bed is India； there she lies； a pearl； Between our Ilium and where she
resides Let it be call'd the wild and wand'ring flood； Ourself the merchant；
and this sailing Pandar Our doubtful hope； our convoy； and our bark。
Alarum。 Enter AENEAS
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THE HISTORY OF TROILUS AND CRESSIDA
AENEAS。 How now； Prince Troilus！ Wherefore not afield？
TROILUS。 Because not there。 This woman's answer sorts； For womanish
it is to be from thence。 What news； Aeneas； from the field to…day？
AENEAS。 That Paris is returned home； and hurt。 TROILUS。 By whom；
Aeneas？ AENEAS。 Troilus； by Menelaus。 TROILUS。 Let Paris bleed： 'tis
but a scar to scorn； Paris is gor'd with Menelaus' horn。 ＇Alarum＇ AENEAS。
Hark what good sport is out of town to…day！ TROILUS。 Better at home； if
'would I might' were 'may。' But to the sport abroad。 Are you bound thither？
AENEAS。 In all swift haste。 TROILUS。 Come； go we then together。
Exeunt
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THE HISTORY OF TROILUS AND CRESSIDA
SCENE 2。 Troy。 A street
Enter CRESSIDA and her man ALEXANDER
CRESSIDA。 Who were those went by？ ALEXANDER。 Queen
Hecuba and Helen。 CRESSIDA。 And whither go they？ ALEXANDER。 Up
to the eastern tower； Whose height commands as subject all the vale； To
see the battle。 Hector； whose patience Is as a virtue fix'd； to…day was mov'd。
He chid Andromache； and struck his armourer； And； like as there were
husbandry in war； Before the sun rose he was harness'd light； And to the
field goes he； where every flower Did as a prophet weep what it foresaw
In Hector's wrath。 CRESSIDA。 What was his cause of anger？
ALEXANDER。 The noise goes； this： there is among the Greeks A lord of
Troyan blood； nephew to Hector； They call him Ajax。 CRESSIDA。 Good；
and what of him？ ALEXANDER。 They say he is a very man per se； And
stands alone。 CRESSIDA。 So do all men； unless they are drunk； sick； or
have no legs。 ALEXANDER。 This man； lady； hath robb'd many beasts of
their particular additions： he is as valiant as a lion； churlish as the bear；
slow as the elephant…a man into whom nature hath so crowded humours
that his valour is crush'd into folly； his folly sauced with discretion。 There
is no man hath a virtue that he hath not a glimpse of； nor any man an
attaint but he carries some stain of it； he is melancholy without cause and
merry against the hair； he hath the joints of every thing； but everything so
out of joint that he is a gouty Briareus； many hands and no use； or purblind
Argus； all eyes and no sight。 CRESSIDA。 But how should this man； that
makes me smile； make Hector angry？ ALEXANDER。 They say he
yesterday cop'd Hector in the battle and struck him down； the disdain and
shame whereof hath ever since kept Hector fasting and waking。
Enter PANDARUS
CRESSIDA。 Who comes here？ ALEXANDER。 Madam； your uncle
Pandarus。 CRESSIDA。 Hector's a gallant man。 ALEXANDER。 As may be
in the world； lady。 PANDARUS。 What's that？ What's that？ CRESSIDA。
Good morrow； uncle Pandarus。 PANDARUS。 Good morrow； cousin
Cressid。 What do you talk of？… Good morrow； Alexander。…How do you；
cousin？ When were you at Ilium？ CRESSIDA。 This morning； uncle。
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THE HISTORY OF TROILUS AND CRESSIDA
PANDARUS。 What were you talking of when I came？ Was Hector arm'd
and gone ere you came to Ilium？ Helen was not up； was she？ CRESSIDA。
Hector was gone； but Helen was not up。 PANDARUS。 E'en so。 Hector was
stirring early。 CRESSIDA。 That were we talking of； and of his anger。
PANDARUS。 Was he angry？ CRESSIDA。 So he says here。 PANDARUS。
True； he was so； I know the cause too； he'll lay about him today； I can tell
them that。 And there's Troilus will not come far behind him； let them take
heed of Troilus； I can tell them that too。 CRESSIDA。 What； is he angry too？
PANDARUS。 Who； Troilus？ Troilus is the better man of the two。
CRESSIDA。 O Jupiter！ there's no comparison。 PANDARUS。 What； not
between Troilus and Hector？ Do you know a man if you see him？
CRESSIDA。 Ay； if I ever saw him before and knew him。 PANDARUS。
Well； I say Troilus is Troilus。 CRESSIDA。 Then you say as I say； for I am
sure he is not Hector。 PANDARUS。 No； nor Hector is not Troilus in some
degrees。 CRESSIDA。 'Tis just to each of them： he is himself。 PANDARUS。
Himself！ Alas； poor Troilus！ I would he were！ CRESSIDA。 So he is。
PANDARUS。 Condition I had gone barefoot to India。 CRESSIDA。 He is
not Hector。 PANDARUS。 Himself！ no； he's not himself。 Would 'a were
himself！ Well； the gods are above； time must friend or end。 Well； Troilus；
well！ I would my heart were in her body！ No； Hector is not a better man
than Troilus。 CRESSIDA。 Excuse me。 PANDARUS。 He is elder。
CRESSIDA。 Pardon me； pardon me。 PANDARUS。 Th' other's not come
to't； you shall tell me another tale when th' other's come to't。 Hector shall
not have his wit this year。 CRESSIDA。 He shall not need it if he hav