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who were his real friends。 And even when most set upon a thing； he was
always able to see the other side of the question。 So although； while the
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Rat was talking so seriously； he kept saying to himself mutinously； ‘But it
WAS fun； though！ Awful fun！' and making strange suppressed noises
inside him； k…i…ck…ck…ck； and poop…p…p； and other sounds resembling
stifled snorts； or the opening of soda…water bottles； yet when the Rat had
quite finished； he heaved a deep sigh and said； very nicely and humbly；
‘Quite right； Ratty！ How SOUND you always are！ Yes； I've been a
conceited old ass； I can quite see that； but now I'm going to be a good
Toad； and not do it any more。 As for motor…cars； I've not been at all so
keen about them since my last ducking in that river of yours。 The fact is；
while I was hanging on to the edge of your hole and getting my breath； I
had a sudden ideaa really brilliant ideaconnected with motor…boats
there； there！ don't take on so； old chap； and stamp； and upset things； it was
only an idea； and we won't talk any more about it now。 We'll have our
coffee； AND a smoke； and a quiet chat； and then I'm going to stroll quietly
down to Toad Hall； and get into clothes of my own； and set things going
again on the old lines。 I've had enough of adventures。 I shall lead a quiet；
steady； respectable life； pottering about my property； and improving it； and
doing a little landscape gardening at times。 There will always be a bit of
dinner for my friends when they come to see me； and I shall keep a pony…
chaise to jog about the country in； just as I used to in the good old days；
before I got restless； and wanted to DO things。'
‘Stroll quietly down to Toad Hall？' cried the Rat； greatly excited。
‘What are you talking about？ Do you mean to say you haven't HEARD？'
‘Heard what？' said Toad； turning rather pale。 ‘Go on； Ratty！ Quick！
Don't spare me！ What haven't I heard？'
‘Do you mean to tell me；' shouted the Rat； thumping with his little fist
upon the table； ‘that you've heard nothing about the Stoats and Weasels？'
What； the Wild Wooders？' cried Toad； trembling in every limb。 ‘No；
not a word！ What have they been doing？'
‘And how they've been and taken Toad Hall？' continued the Rat。
Toad leaned his elbows on the table； and his chin on his paws； and a
large tear welled up in each of his eyes； overflowed and splashed on the
table； plop！ plop！
‘Go on； Ratty；' he murmured presently； ‘tell me all。 The worst is over。 I
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am an animal again。 I can bear it。'
‘When yougotinto thatthattrouble of yours；' said the Rat； slowly
and impressively； ‘I mean； when youdisappeared from society for a time；
over that misunderstanding about aa machine； you know'
Toad merely nodded。
‘Well； it was a good deal talked about down here； naturally；' continued
the Rat； ‘not only along the river…side； but even in the Wild Wood。
Animals took sides； as always happens。 The River…bankers stuck up for
you； and said you had been infamously treated； and there was no justice to
be had in the land nowadays。 But the Wild Wood animals said hard things；
and served you right； and it was time this sort of thing was stopped。 And
they got very cocky； and went about saying you were done for this time！
You would never come back again； never； never！'
Toad nodded once more； keeping silence。
‘That's the sort of little beasts they are；' the Rat went on。 ‘But Mole
and Badger； they stuck out； through thick and thin； that you would come
back again soon； somehow。 They didn't know exactly how； but somehow！'
Toad began to sit up in his chair again； and to smirk a little。
‘They argued from history；' continued the Rat。 ‘They said that no
criminal laws had ever been known to prevail against cheek and
plausibility such as yours； combined with the power of a long purse。 So
they arranged to move their things in to Toad Hall； and sleep there； and
keep it aired； and have it all ready for you when you turned up。 They didn't
guess what was going to happen； of course； still； they had their suspicions
of the Wild Wood animals。 Now I come to the most painful and tragic part
of my story。 One dark nightit was a VERY dark night； and blowing hard；
too； and raining simply cats and dogsa band of weasels； armed to the
teeth； crept silently up the carriage…drive to the front entrance。
Simultaneously； a body of desperate ferrets； advancing through the
kitchen…garden； possessed themselves of the backyard and offices； while a
company of skirmishing stoats who stuck at nothing occupied the
conservatory and the billiard…room； and held the French windows opening
on to the lawn。
‘The Mole and the Badger were sitting by the fire in the smoking…
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room； telling stories and suspecting nothing； for it wasn't a night for any
animals to be out in； when those bloodthirsty villains broke down the
doors and rushed in upon them from every side。 They made the best fight
they could； but what was the good？ They were unarmed； and taken by
surprise； and what can two animals do against hundreds？ They took and
beat them severely with sticks； those two poor faithful creatures； and
turned them out into the cold and the wet； with many insulting and
uncalled… for remarks！'
Here the unfeeling Toad broke into a snigger； and then pulled himself
together and tried to look particularly solemn。
‘And the Wild Wooders have been living in Toad Hall ever since；'
continued the Rat； ‘and going on simply anyhow！ Lying in bed half the
day； and breakfast at all hours； and the place in such a mess （I'm told） it's
not fit to be seen！ Eating your grub； and drinking your drink； and making
bad jokes about you； and singing vulgar songs； aboutwell； about prisons
and magistrates； and policemen； horrid personal songs； with no humour in
them。 And they're telling the tradespeople and everybody that they've
come to stay for good。'