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As it was then； so is it now； the Government wants support； and it is always to be had； at a price； deputies always want 'places。' For every duty the functionary performs； or ought to perform； he receives his bribe。 The Government is too poor to keep him honest； but his POUR… BOIRES are not measured by his scruples。 All is winked at； if the Ministry secures a vote。
Away in the pretty rural districts； in the little villages amid the woods and the mountains； with their score or so of houses and their little chapel with its tinkling old bell and its poverty…stricken curate； the hard…working； simple…minded men are too proud and too honest to ask for more than a pinch of tobacco for the CIGARILLO。 The maidens are comely； and as chaste as … can reasonably be expected。
Madrid is worth visiting … not for its bull…fights； which are disgusting proofs of man's natural brutality； but for its picture gallery。 No one knows what Velasquez could do； or has done； till he has seen Madrid； and Charles V。 was practically master of Europe when the collection was in his hands。 The Escurial's chief interests are in its associations with Charles V。 and Philip II。 In the dark and gloomy little bedroom of the latter is a small window opening into the church； so that the King could attend the services in bed if necessary。
It cannot be said of Philip that he was nothing if not religious； for Nero even was not a more indefatigable murderer； nor a more diabolical specimen of cruelty and superstition。 The very thought of the wretch tempts one to revolt at human piety； at any rate where priestcraft and its fabrications are at the bottom of it。
When at Madrid we met Mr。 Arthur Birch。 He had been with Cayley at Eton； as captain of the school。 While we were together； he received and accepted the offer of an Eton mastership。 We were going by diligence to Toledo； and Birch agreed to go with us。 I mention the fact because the place reminds me of a clever play upon its name by the Eton scholar。 Cayley bought a Toledo sword…blade； and asked Birch for a motto to engrave upon it。 In a minute or two he hit off this： TIMETOLETUM； which reads Time Toletum=Honour Toledo； or Timeto Letum=Fear death。 Cayley's attempts； though not so neat； were not bad。 Here are a couple of them：…
Though slight I am； no slight I stand； Saying my master's sleight of hand。
or：…
Come to the point； unless you do； The point will shortly come to you。
Birch got the Latin poem medal at Cambridge the same year that Cayley got the English one。
Before we set forth again upon our gipsy tramp； I received a letter from Mr。 Ellice bidding me hasten home to contest the Borough of Cricklade in the General Election of 1852。 Under these circumstances we loitered but little on the Northern roads。 At the end of May we reached Yrun。 Here we sold our ponies … now quite worn out … for twenty…three dollars … about five guineas。 So that a thousand miles of locomotion had cost us a little over five guineas apiece。 Not counting hotels at Madrid and such smart places； our daily cost for selves and ponies rarely exceeded six pesetas； or three shillings each all told。 The best of it was； the trip restored the health of my friend。
CHAPTER XXXV
IN February of this year； 1852； Lord Palmerston； aided by an incongruous force of Peelites and Protectionists； turned Lord John Russell out of office on his Militia Bill。 Lord Derby； with Disraeli as Chancellor of the Exchequer and leader of the House of Commons； came into power on a cry for Protection。
Not long after my return to England； I was packed off to canvas the borough of Cricklade。 It was then a very extensive borough； including a large agricultural district； as well as Swindon； the headquarters of the Great Western Railway。 For many years it had returned two Conservative members； Messrs。 Nield and Goddard。 It was looked upon as an impregnable Tory stronghold； and the fight was little better than a forlorn hope。
My headquarters were at Coleshill； Lord Radnor's。 The old lord had； in his Parliamentary days； been a Radical； hence； my advanced opinions found great favour in his eyes。 My programme was … Free Trade； Vote by Ballot； and Disestablishment。 Two of these have become common…places （one perhaps effete）； and the third is nearer to accomplishment than it was then。
My first acquaintance with a constituency； amongst whom I worked enthusiastically for six weeks； was comic enough。 My instructions were to go to Swindon； there an agent； whom I had never seen； would join me。 A meeting of my supporters had been arranged by him； and I was to make my maiden speech in the market…place。
My address； it should be stated … ultra…Radical； of course … was mainly concocted for me by Mr。 Cayley； an almost rabid Tory； and then member for the North Riding of Yorkshire； but an old Parliamentary hand； and； in consequence of my attachment to his son； at that time and until his death； like a father to me。
When the train stopped at Swindon； there was a crowd of passengers； but not a face that I knew； and it was not till all but one or two had left； that a business…looking man came up and asked if I were the candidate for Cricklade。 He told me that a carriage was in attendance to take us up to the town； and that a procession； headed by a band； was ready to accompany us thither。 The procession was formed mainly of the Great Western boiler…makers and artisans。 Their enthusiasm seemed slightly disproportioned to the occasion； and the vigour of the brass； and especially of the big drum； so filled my head with visions of Mr。 Pickwick and his friend the Honourable Samuel Slumkey； that by the time I reached the market…place； I had forgotten every syllable of the speech which I had carefully learnt by heart。 Nor was it the band alone that upset me； going up the hill the carriage was all but capsized by the frightened horses and the breaking of the pole。 The gallant boiler…makers； however； at once removed the horses； and dragged the carriage with cheers of defiance into the crowd awaiting us。
My agent had settled that I was to speak from a window of the hotel。 The only available one was an upper window； the lower sash of which could not be persuaded to keep up without being held。 The consequence was； just as I was getting over the embarrassment of extemporary oration； down came the sash and guillotined me。 This put the crowd in the best of humours； they roared with laughter； and after that we got on capitally together。
A still more inopportune accident happened to me later in the day； when speaking at Shrivenham。 A large yard enclosed by buildings was chosen for the meeting。 The difficulty was to elevate the speaker above the heads of the assembly。 In one corner of the yard was a water…butt。 An ingenious elector got a board； placed it on the top of the butt … which was full of water … and persuaded me to make this my rostrum。 Here； again； in the midst of my harangue … perhaps I stamped to emphasize my horror of small loaves and other Tory abominations … the board gave way； and I narrowly e