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grow brighter and more mysterious as the streaks of light
vanished from the windows； the last candle pass from the pantry
to the hall （throwing a glimmer into the dewy garden as it did
so）； and the stooping figure of Foka （decked in a nightcap； and
carrying the candle） become visible to my eyes as he went to his
bed。 Often I would find a great and fearful pleasure in stealing
over the grass； in the black shadow of the house； until I had
reached the hall window； where I would stand listening with bated
breath to the snoring of the boy； to Foka's gruntings （in the
belief that no one heard him）； and to the sound of his senile
voice as he drawled out the evening prayers。 At length even his
candle would be extinguished； and the window slammed down； so
that I would find myself utterly alone； whereupon； glancing
nervously from side to side； lest haply I should see the white
woman standing near a flower…bed or by my couch； I would run at
full speed back to the verandah。 Then； and only then； I would lie
down with my face to the garden； and； covering myself over； so
far as possible； from the mosquitos and bats； fall to gazing in
front of me as I listened to the sounds of the night and dreamed
of love and happiness。
At such times everything would take on for me a different
meaning。 The look of the old birch trees； with the one side of
their curling branches showing bright against the moonlit sky；
and the other darkening the bushes and carriage…drive with their
black shadows； the calm； rich glitter of the pond； ever swelling
like a sound； the moonlit sparkle of the dewdrops on the flowers
in front of the verandah； the graceful shadows of those flowers
where they lay thrown upon the grey stonework； the cry of a quail
on the far side of the pond； the voice of some one walking on the
high road； the quiet； scarcely audible scrunching of two old
birch trees against one another； the humming of a mosquito at my
car under the coverlet； the fall of an apple as it caught against
a branch and rustled among the dry leaves； the leapings of frogs
as they approached almost to the verandah…steps arid sat with the
moon shining mysteriously on their green backsall these things
took on for me a strange significancea significance of
exceeding beauty and of infinite love。 Before me would rise SHE；
with long black tresses and a high bust； but always mournful in
her fairness； with bare hands and voluptuous arms。 She loved me；
and for one moment of her love I would sacrifice my whole life！
But the moon would go on rising higher and higher； and shining
brighter and brighter； in the heavens； the rich sparkle of the
pond would swell like a sound； and become ever more and more
brilliant； while the shadows would grow blacker and blacker； and
the sheen of the moon more and more transparent： until； as I
looked at and listened to all this； something would say to me
that SHE with the bare hands and voluptuous arms did not
represent ALL happiness； that love for her did not represent ALL
good； so that； the more I gazed at the full； high…riding moon；
the higher would true beauty and goodness appear to me to lie；
and the purer and purer they would seemthe nearer and nearer to
Him who is the source of all beauty and all goodness。 And tears
of a sort of unsatisfied； yet tumultuous； joy would fill my eyes。
Always； too； I was alone； yet always； too； it seemed to me that；
although great； mysterious Nature could draw the shining disc of
the moon to herself； and somehow hold in some high； indefinite
place the pale…blue sky； and be everywhere around me； and fill of
herself the infinity of space； while I was but a lowly worm；
already defiled with the poor； petty passions of humanityalways
it seemed to me that； nevertheless； both Nature and the moon and
I were one。
XXXIII
OUR NEIGHBOURS
ON the first day after our arrival； I had been greatly astonished
that Papa should speak of our neighbours； the Epifanovs； as 〃nice
people；〃 and still more so that he should go to call upon them。
The fact was that we had long been at law over some land with
this family。 When a child； I had more than once heard Papa raging
over the litigation； abusing the Epifanovs； and warning people
（so I understood him） against them。 Likewise； I had heard Jakoff
speak of them as 〃our enemies〃 and 〃black people〃 and could
remember Mamma requesting that their names should never be
mentioned in her presence； nor； indeed； in the house at all。
From these data I； as a child； had arrived at the clear and assured
conviction that the Epifanovs were foemen of ours who would at
any time stab or strangle both Papa and his sons if they should
ever come across them； as well as that they were 〃black people〃；
in the literal sense of the term。 Consequently； when； in the year
that Mamma died； I chanced to catch sight of Avdotia （〃La Belle
Flamande〃） on the occasion of a visit which she paid to my
mother； I found it hard to believe that she did not come of a
family of negroes。 All the same； I had the lowest possible
opinion of the family； and； for all that we saw much of them that
summer； continued to be strongly prejudiced against them。 As a
matter of fact； their household only consisted of the mother （a
widow of fifty； but a very well…preserved； cheery old woman）； a
beautiful daughter named Avdotia； and a son； Peter； who was a
stammerer； unmarried； and of very serious disposition。
For the last twenty years before her husband's death； Madame
Epifanov had lived apart from himsometimes in St。 Petersburg；
where she had relatives； but more frequently at her village of
Mitishtchi； which stood some three versts from ours。 Yet the
neighbourhood had taken to circulating such horrible tales
concerning her mode of life that Messalina was； by comparison； a
blameless child： which was why my mother had requested her name
never to be mentioned。 As a matter of fact； not one…tenth part of
the most cruel of all gossipthe gossip of country…housesis
worthy of credence； and although； when I first made Madame's
acquaintance； she had living with her in the house a clerk named
Mitusha； who had been promoted from a serf； and who； curled；
pomaded； and dressed in a frockcoat of Circassian pattern； always
stood behind his mistress's chair at luncheon； while from time to
time she invited her guests to admire his handsome eyes and
mouth； there was nothing for gossip to take hold of。 I believe；
too； that since the timeten years earlierwhen she had recalled
her dutiful son Peter from the service； she had wholly changed
her mode of living。 It seems her property had never been a large
onemerely a hundred souls or so＇This refers； of course； to the
days of serfdom。＇and that during her previous life of gaiety she
had spent a great deal。 Consequently； when； some ten years ago；
those portions of the property which had been mortgaged and re…
mortgaged had been foreclosed upon and compulsorily sold by
auction； she had